


fifty two tales

by serenascampbell



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 53,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7246771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenascampbell/pseuds/serenascampbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**We're going around again because one shots are my favourite to write!**<br/>Also, from now on - discount Labour in reference to any other oneshot because while they are all stand alone, almost every other chapter stands in the same universe. However, for all intents and purposes, they have two children (+Cam, Charlotte and Elinor) - Tia, who Bernie had the year after she and Serena moved in together through IVF, and Jake, who they adopted aged 8, four years after Tia was born. </p><p>alphabet one shot collection for Berena, read 'em as you wish - smut warnings will be on a chapter-by-chapter basis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> **really lowkey trigger warning for creepy dude, but it's all good because Bernie breaks out the big macho army medic tactics on him**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a for alcohol - Bernie + Serena + wine, always ends well.

“You coming for a drink, Serena?” Bernie questioned warmly as the two of them left the hospital and headed for the car park. “I think we both deserve it after that day.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that - there’s no harm in one or two, as long as I’m home before dawn.” Serena responded with a grin, throwing her car keys back in to her bag and walking towards Albies with Bernie close beside her. 

The two of them entered the bar to find it almost empty, there were a few strangers sat in one corner but nobody from the hospital, and there was room to breathe at least, so they headed straight for the bar with intent to take the seats that had slowly but surely become theirs. 

“Red?“ Bernie asked as the two of them sat down, drawing her purse out of her bag and placing it down in front of them. “I’ll treat us to a bottle, shall I?”

“I’m in if you are. The mere prospect of working with that man for another day has me needing a hard drink and a long sleep, how on Earth did you deal with him for so long?” Serena couldn’t help but complain - after spending a nine hour shift listening to Marcus Dunn talk badly about Bernie, she was just about ready to explode. She didn’t agree with what Bernie had done, she probably never would on a practical level, but she understood and respected her choice in some manner…and she resented the idea that her own ex-husband would drag it out so painfully. 

“I moved to the other side of the planet and limited exposure…” Bernie joked before a more serious tone fell upon the conversation. “He used to be better, so much kinder and charismatic but- the divorce has really taken it out of him, and I accept that I”m the one to blame for the way that he’s been acting. I can’t help but feel a little guilty for destroying the person he used to be, the person that I used to love.” 

Serena pursed her lips, unwilling to pass judgement on such a personal statement, and reached out to rest her hand comfortingly on Bernie’s forearm. As the bartender brought over a bottle of Shiraz, Serena couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that the pair of them had subconsciously made it their ‘usual’. Bernie poured each of them a large glass full, drinking hers down almost immediately before pouring a second. 

The night wore on and time got away from them as they finished a bottle and moved on to another, then again. Serena was a giggly drunk, always had been, and she was struggling to keep quiet despite the apparent effort on her face - there was nothing for Bernie to do apart from laugh along with her. 

“Truth or dare?” Serena suggested briskly, following an infantile impulse and nipping the inside of her cheek as she realised how ridiculous she had sounded. 

“Truth.“ Bernie responded easily, no hesitation in her voice as she sat up straight with enthusiasm. 

“First crush?” The brunette almost choked on her drink as she took a gulp eagerly. Bernie was still quite a mysterious entity, she had arrived and there were still things that Serena was finding out about her every day - this was the perfect opportunity to find out all the things that were never reasonably going to come up in sober conversation. 

“I take it Barbra Streisand doesn’t count.” Bernie joked before drawing in a breath. “There was this guy in secondary school, must have been second year I think, and everyone wanted to get with him, and I was just frumpy little teenager who hadn’t hit puberty yet but one time, I fell over in the corridor and he helped me up and it was one of those moments where your future flashes before your eyes and you just think ‘I’m going to marry this person and have their children and live happily ever after, so I’m sorted.’”

“Did you ever-?” Serena enquired curiously, wanting to know all of the sordid details only to be cut off by Bernie shaking her head. “Alright, my go! I want a dare!”

“Alright, go over to that bloke and persuade him to buy you a drink. Whatever it takes, Miss Campbell, show your initiative.” Bernie suggested, pointing indiscreetly at the man sat on the other side of the pub, facing away from them luckily. “You have five minutes max, or I’m coming to save you.”

Serena scoffed before slipping out of her chair and sauntering around the bar to take a seat, extremely close beside the target. Sidling up next to him, she fluttered her eyelashes and started talking nonsense to the man in an airheadedly flirtatious manner. All the man did was watch her, laughing at her comments as he slipped one hand to rest against her back, low enough down that the respectability of it was questionable, and Serena felt smug that she had almost definitely succeeded. He raised his empty hand about his head and snapped for the bartender to bring them drinks which, without hesitation Bobby walked over with a glass in each hand and placed them down on the table. 

As she sipped at her own drink, Bernie watched the scene ardently with a tinge of jealousy as she saw the way Serena so comfortably sank against the man in her drunken state. Even through her hazy thoughts, Bernie knew she had to keep a close eye in case things turned sour and she knew that if Serena stayed after finishing her drink, she would have to go and collect her. 

“Come on, gorgeous.” The bloke grunted as he tugged Serena by her waist, to sit almost upon his lap, and lowered his hand to sit on her hip. Slipping in to army mode, Bernie rose from where she was sat without thinking and headed over with every intention to fight the guy if it became necessary. “Ay, and who’s this?”

“Let’s get you home shall we, ‘Rena?” Bernie suggested reasonably, outstretching an arm to help the other woman up. Serena lifted her arm limply to take the blonde’s hand, finding herself held tight in the bloke’s grasp who didn’t seem to be giving up. “Early morning tomorrow, remember?”

“I’ll get her home, don’t you worry.” His false chivalry didn’t convince Bernie for half a second and she simply tugged on Serena’s arm a little harder, knowing that the guy would be unwilling to cause a scene so publicly. Instead he conceded that an utterance of complaint would suffice. “Bloody waste of three quid that was.” 

“Serena, why don’t you go and grab your coat? I’ll be there in a minute.” Bernie couldn’t help her urge to protect Serena’s honour, so leant in close to the letch of a man and whispered. “Go near her again and I’ll skin you, and trust me when I say you don’t know what you would be getting yourself in to.“

As the two women left the bar, Bernie hailed the first cab she saw and guided Serena in to it before climbing in herself. Giving her own address, she settled back against the seat and felt Serena rest her head slovenly against her shoulder - it was obvious that the experience had been somewhat sobering and while Serena didn’t seem distressed by what had happened, Bernie certainly wasn’t going to drop it. Bernie reflected, knowing that she was to blame though feeling overwhelmed with relief that she had stepped in when she did, and she knew that all she wanted for the rest of the night was to make sure that Serena was kept safe. 

Pulling up outside of her flat, Bernie passed a £20 note to the driver before stepping out of the cab and helping Serena to stand up before guiding her towards the front door of her building, keeping tight hold of her waist as the maudlin pair braved the stairs. Serena was still in the party spirit, giggling to herself despite the fact she seemed ready for bed, and Bernie knew that she wouldn’t persuade her to turn in straight away. Stumbling through the front door, Serena leant against the wall as Bernie grabbed another bottle of red and two glasses before offering the brunette her arm and walking the pair of them in to the living room, falling back against the couch. 

“My turn - truth again.” Bernie stated pointedly, pulling the cork from the wine easily and filling their glasses rather overzealously.

“Most ridiculous place you’ve ever had sex?” Serena slurred, sniggering as she picked up her glass and drew it to her lips. “And you can’t say something really boring or I’ll know you’re lying!”

“Alright - back of an AL28 with two of my colleagues in the cab. I’d just got back to Kandahar and I was treated to a nice ‘welcome back’ - the others maintained discretion as far as I know.” Bernie stated simply, smirking as she looked back on the sordid affair and realising just how bad it sounded in hindsight. The man who’d been driving was dead now - IED - and she swallowed back sadness and she raised her eyes to look at a laughing Serena with Shiraz dripping down her chin as she stumbled over her own tongue in her wine-drenched state.

“I want a dare. I dare me to kiss the most attractive person here.” Serena uttered, words falling out of her mouth like an uninterrupted yet choppy flow with no sense of coherence amongst them. With very little grace, she leant over and almost fell in Bernie’s lap, reaching for lips and kissing them softly only to be met hesitantly by the blonde. “You taste of Shiraz, hmm…”

“Serena-” Bernie began only to be cut off by the brunette shushing her and sipping her wine before swallowing harshly in attempt to falsify sobriety. 

“You’re very pretty Bernie, I could spend ages just looking at you. Sometimes I wonder how there are people in the world who are as beautiful as you. You’re a masterpiece, like sometimes I just want to spend ages just admiring your face and showing photos like ‘Look how pretty my Bernie is, aren’t you jealous?’ and I feel so ridiculous but you’ve just a very kissable face. Do you know what I mean? Some people just have faces that make you want to kiss them-”

“Serena, Serena- Do you think it’s time to go to bed?“ Bernie suggested, finishing off her wine and standing up to offer Serena a hand. “I’ll get you some water and a shirt to sleep in.”

Without argument, Serena reached for Bernie’s hand and allowed herself to be helped up, leaning heavily against the blonde and giggling to herself quietly as they walked towards the bedroom. Bernie still held the insides of her cheeks between her teeth as she tried to ignore the fact Serena had just kissed her and remain responsible, guiding the other woman to the bed. As she attempted to be mature about the situation and not let herself get distracted, Bernie reached for the hem of Serena’s shirt and pulled it over her head, keeping her eyes trained closely on the wall behind Serena. 

“Berenese Griselda Wolfe, please stop looking at me like I’m a horse you’re untacking!” Serena exclaimed, causing Bernie’s eyes to meet hers as she reached for the woman’s trousers and unbuttoned them, letting them fall to the woman’s feet before grabbing the shirt from the bottom of the bed and handing it to her. “You’re being a terrible lesbian right now.”

Bernie couldn’t help but laugh at her statement as she attempted to be the best, most respectable lesbian she could within the scenario. She refused to take advantage of Serena, especially after seeing how easily she could be led astray at the pub, and she cared about her too much to expose her in that manner. As Bernie slipped off her own clothes and grabbed a t-shirt from the top of her drawer, she thought about how much concentration it was going to take not to do anything suggestive whilst the pair shared the same bed - she couldn’t deal with the upset of getting a taste of paradise and then waking up to find herself in the same position of resolute unrequitedness. 

Calmly slipping under the duvet on the right side of the bed and turning to face away from Serena, Bernie attempted to steady her breathing and closed her eyes. After a moment, she felt Serena draw closer behind her and tug a little on the duvet, she let go of it willingly in the hope that it would keep Serena at a distance though it failed - Serena sidled up close behind her and wrapped an arm tightly around her waist, snuggling in to her neck warmly and humming. 

“Serena-” Bernie whispered but her plea fell on deaf ears as the other woman grumbled before sniffing and resting her head against the pillow, shuffling to get comfortable. “You’ll be the death of me.”

Serena fell asleep almost immediately, followed eventually by a restless and focused Bernie who gave in to temptation and cuddled against Serena shyly.


	2. baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> b is for baby | Berena with a little one, that is all.

Bernie had been struggling with the exhaustion ever since Tia was born, despite spending so many years being deprived of reasonable sleep - she had always made sure that she got her necessary six hours a night. Having a lot of sleep was never the problem, it was being able to sleep soundly for at least a short while - getting up and going to back to sleep was not something that she was well accustomed to. Serena however was thriving in motherhood, admittedly the fact that she hadn’t deal with nine months of sleepless nights already must have contributed though it did take the strain off Bernie somewhat. 

It was eleven o’clock, the first time that she started crying, and Bernie barely made a noise as she clambered out of bed and stumbled towards the cot. Picking her up, Bernie rocked her until she promptly settled and then placed her carefully back down before padding back over to the bed and flopping down tiredly. 

At least an hour and a half later, Bernie woke up to the sound of her daughter’s cries and rose, still in lingering slumber, to hold her as she cried. Slipping open her shirt and offering her nipple to Tia’s hungry lips, drawing in a breath as she strained against her thirstily. There were muffled groans from Serena as she rolled over in bed, disturbed the noise but still clinging to the idea of a sound night’s sleep, and Bernie simply held her daughter closely in an attempt to settle her cries. As she stood, leaning against the crib as her daughter fed, her eyes began to close again but forced herself to stay awake as her daughter drifted back to sleep, exhausted with her own greed. 

“Love you..” Serena hummed absent-mindedly as the blonde returned to the bed, slipping back under the duvet and letting sleep reclaim her. 

3o’clock and she rose, then again at four for a nappy change. But a five, she felt a warm hand pause her movements and she remained where she was - allowing herself to drift back to sleep as Serena rose to tend to the baby. Serena was much calmer in her movements, she had no reservations about rising to look after their child because she found that Bernie - in wanting to prove her ability to cope as a full-time parent after the somewhat of a train wreck that had occurred between her and the older children - was relatively unwilling to allow her to help. 

As she held the weeping child close against her, Serena hummed quietly and smiled down at Tia warmly. 

Bernie rolled over in a sleep-encumbered state, opening her eyes slightly to see the woman pacing the length of the room happily with the softly weeping child, and she couldn’t help but grin a little as she dozed off once again. The two women had never struggled - while neither was particularly willing to accept help when it was offered, they knew where the line was drawn and they wouldn’t allow it to be crossed. With Serena, it was emotional - she wouldn’t admit when she wasn’t coping and she tended to bottle everything up - but with Bernie, it was a physical thing - she’d sooner allow herself to go days without sleep than admit she was overworked. 

Serena held the child close as she drifted back to sleep, humming warmly as the little darling rested against her mother’s chest. The sun was already coming up, and she would have to get Tia up for a feed soon, so there was little point in going back to bed now. Instead, she placed the sleeping infant back in her crib and quietly padded over to Bernie, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead before sneaking out of the room, heading downstairs to boil the kettle and start making breakfast. 

It was a frustrating but undeniable fact that Bernie Wolfe could not sleep past 6:30AM, not after all those years in the army. So Serena was prepared to ensure that she got every minute she could up to that point - she spent her life worrying that Bernie wasn’t looking after herself, and she knew that she was right to worry which made it a dozen times worse. Sitting at the dining table, Serena sipped at her coffee and speculated on how it had been eight months already since Tia was born, it certainly didn’t feel like more than forty-eight hours since she had watched their daughter born. 

“Where does the time go?” Serena whispered in to the empty room, looking towards the ultrasound they had never taken off the fridge and smiling. 

As six o’clock approached, she headed up the stairs and lifted the still napping child up to bring her downstairs. Tia woke softly, with tired eyes and a wide grin as she clung tightly to Serena’s tank top. She babbled senselessly as she was carried down the stairs and set in her highchair, giggling merrily at the world around her. Serena couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face as she handed her the bottle of pre-pumped milk she had just warmed, and watched the little one grasp at it hungrily. 

“Have you been keeping Mummy awake all night?” Serena chastised sweetly as Tia clumsily lifted the bottle and gobbled at it delightedly. The domestication of the scene felt rather ironic, it had never been something that she envisaged for herself and even less so at this point in her life. She had never anticipated herself settling down - not with a woman, and not with another baby - but it was where she had ended up and she couldn’t be happier. “My my, someone’s hungry this morning!”

As the clock’s hand ticked over half past, Serena heard movement upstairs and just like clockwork, Bernie got up for the day. 

“Good morning beautiful ladies!” Bernie greeted as she entered the kitchen, smiling as she found Serena sitting beside their daughter with a full mug of coffee in front of her. 

Bernie padded over to the pair of them, placing a soft kiss against Tia’s cheek before stooping to wrap her arms around Serena from behind and hold her tightly. Kissing her temple soundly, Bernie breathed in Serena’s scent deeply and hummed, happy despite her still exhausted state.


	3. camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> c is for camping | the consultancy team are forced to go camping, Bernie and Serena share a tent.

“I can’t believe we’re being forced in to this.” Jac grumbled as she climbed in to the front seat of the people carrier and dropped her head back against the rest. “We communicate fine! I bloody hate the board.”

Serena swallowed down her laughter as she slipped in to the seat beside Bernie, at the back of the vehicle. This wasn’t exactly how she’d planned to spend her weekend, but what Hanssen wanted was what Hanssen got - at the very least, she got to spend it with Bernie and that was more than compensatory. The blonde next to her was holding in her own giggles, biting her lip as her whole body shook as she forced herself to keep a straight face. 

“It won’t feel like forever, the time’ll fly by once we get there.” Ric enthused, failing to convince even himself as he slumped in to the driver’s seat. As Mo collapsed back against the seat on the other side of Bernie and shut her eyes, Ric started the engine and they started the long journey to the camp site. “Team bonding, we barely see each other for Christ’s sake!”

Most of the team slept through the journey - Jac stayed awake unsurprisingly, and Ric maintained the wheel the entire way there but apart from those two, everyone at least had a catnap. Serena slept with her head resting against Bernie’s shoulder while the medic’s head rested against her own chest in an uncomfortable position, even to look at. No one passed judgement, only Jac would have the nerve and she couldn’t have been less interested - everyone was more interested in getting the next two days over and done with as quickly as possible. 

By the time they arrived at the campsite, it was beginning to get dark and while Serena was completely ready to leave it to the men, Bernie thought otherwise. Years in the army had taught her that a civilian - male or female - never knew what to do with a tent, and if anyone was going to sleep tonight then she was going to have to take control of the situation. Somehow, Jac was well educated on the art of erecting a tent and camping trips with his son had made Sacha more than capable…but Guy, Mo, Ric and Serena simply stood around, attempting to be useful despite their cluelessness. 

“If this falls down on my head in the middle of the night, I blame you Ms Wolfe.” Guy finished sharply as he swiped at the opening and climbed inside with a huff. Bernie couldn’t help but roll at her eyes at his demanding nature - He can fix it himself then, lazy plank. - and pursed her lips politely. 

It had been agreed that they would share tents as to save the effort of putting up 7 one-mans rather than 4 two-mans, so Serena and Bernie had no need to maintain the pretence of entering separate tents and moving after lights out. 

“Goodnight everybody, see you bright and early.” Serena grumbled sarcastically as she slipped in to the tent furthest away from the fire they had built. Bernie followed behind her silently, waving towards the group that had formed a circle and shutting the zip behind her. Shutting out not only the others there, but the rest of the world as the two women reclined in to their small utopia. “Ready to get the worst night’s sleep of your life?”

“Oh please, you know I’ve had worse. Don’t be a wimp, Ms Campbell - you can use me a pillow.” Bernie joked, pulling off her shirt before shimmying her trousers down her legs. “Are you going to- or…?”

Serena rolled her eyes dramatically before swiftly undressing and wrapping the sleeping bag around herself tightly as the cold air hit her bare flesh and caused goosebumps to emerge along her arms and legs. Extending her arm around Serena’s shoulder, Bernie laid down on her back and smiled warmly as she breathed in the scent of the outdoors - still familiar despite the fact that it felt like years. Voices could be heard outside but they were muffled through the thin plastic of the tent, and it felt like there were miles rather than inches between them. 

Without inhibition, the brunette reached across and grasped roughly at Bernie’s left breast. Her intentions were clear, and Bernie wasn’t about to act shyly - instead she arched against Serena’s touch and deftly flicked her leg up and over Serena so that she was straddling her. Leaning in close, Bernie brushed against her lover’s lips temptingly, running her cool fingers along icy flesh. Serena drew in a deep breath, her breasts heaving in her confining balconette as she slipped her arms around to hold Bernie’s love handles. 

Bernie’s hand slipped easily beneath the elastic of her underwear, finding her warm and eager already. Leaving a trail of kisses as she went, Serena’s skin was cool under the blonde’s lips though a warming blush spread across her like wildfire as Bernie’s mouth moved further south, leaving bruising marks as she went. Her heart fluttered readily inside in her chest as she ran her digits sensually over Bernie’s shoulder blades, hissing as she felt her tongue slide along the inside of her thigh. 

“Ms Wolfe!” Serena sucked in her cheeks and closed her eyes, focused on not making any noise. 

Then Bernie was everywhere at once, her tongue was inside of Serena, then nipping at her clit, while her fingers worked tirelessly. The brunette was overwhelmed, slick and hot against her lover’s hands as she arched her back desperately, mewling as she swallowed down screams. Her hands were in thick, blonde hair, tugging forcefully as she felt her eyes roll to the back of her head - her climax was approaching fast, the knot inside of her tightening as Bernie building her up before Serena hopelessly thrust her hips against the blonde’s lithe and expert tongue. 

In that moment of ecstasy, Serena had no control over the amount of noise she made though it fell on deaf ears with a smug Bernie, rising up to head-height with a smug look on her face and a glistening sheen on her swollen lips. Serena was quicker, no sense of grace in her movements as she brought Bernie to a rip-roaring orgasm - she had always been brusque in the bedroom, leaving marks and bruises where she went, and Bernie couldn’t have loved it more. After years in the army, the medic had learned how to keep relatively quiet, though with Serena, it required a whole different level of self-control. 

Falling in to a post-coital daze, Serena rested her head against Bernie’s warm shoulder and closed her eyes to sleep while Bernie giggled smugly in to the brunette’s hair before shutting her eyes and following suit. The two women slept soundly that night, the exhaustion slipping over them like a tiresome veil.

“Sleep well, ladies?” Guy questioned sarcastically, dampening the situation while everyone else simply pursed their lips and sniggered quietly as Serena and Bernie joined them at the campfire. Perhaps the weekend wouldn’t drag as much as they’d expected.


	4. dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> d is for dancing | the first song is Lovesong by Maria Doyle Kennedy and the second is Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

“I can’t believe I let you talk me in this, Ms Campbell - I haven’t been to a charity ball since I joined the corps.” Bernie grumbled as she trotted along graciously in her high heels. “I had a million ways to get out of this, yet somehow I’m still here because of you!”

“Hmm, you know you would’ve regretted leaving me alone with this bunch all night.” Serena reasoned, happy in the knowledge that Bernie was there almost entirely because she had asked her to be. 

Serena was wearing a dress, admittedly it was a very simple wrap dress that most would label casual, but still she had put in the effort to look nice - and it certainly wasn’t for the benefit of the other guests. Bernie was in a simple pant suit, unornamented yet effectively appealing and making Serena go weak at the knees with the way it accentuated the curve of her hips. Most of the women around them had gone to an effort - wearing designer gowns and diamonds - but that had never been in their nature. 

Grabbing two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter, Bernie handed one over to Serena before knocking hers back without hesitation. The expensive taste lingered in her mouth as she ran her tongue over her lips, and Serena smirked as she sipped at her own glass casually. Across the room, Hanssen could be seen engaging in conversation with a board member and Jac Naylor was surrounded by a bunch of her adoring followers - Bernie and Serena meanwhile, had every intention of staying in the shadows for as much of the night as possible. 

The two women took a seat at one of the tables bordering the room, reclining as they looked out on the dance floor and searched for faces they might recognise. Over the course of the night, it seemed as though they had bled the bar dry with glass after glass. Over the course of the night, many people came over and tried to engage them in conversation though they could tell that neither woman was enthused by their presence, so the two of them were left alone in the corner to chatter and drink together. 

“Would you like to dance?” Serena blurted out, inadvertently declaring her tipsy state as she giggled mischievously. 

“Before we leave, not yet…I’m not drunk enough yet.” Bernie responded, seeing the doubt in Serena’s eyes as she knew she was being palmed off. “I promise.”

Conceding that Bernie would never go back on her word, Serena huffed and settled back in her chair as she knocked back some more champagne. It wasn’t until Ric headed over almost half an hour later and asked Serena to dance, that Bernie decided it was time to make her move. 

“We were just about to go weren’t we, Serena.“ Bernie interjected, fully aware that Ric would take it badly if she had said they were about to dance. “Before the taxis get crammed.”

Serena offered her sincere apologies before standing up and reaching for her coat, following Bernie away from the table graciously. Her feet wobbled underneath her but she managed to stay vertical at least until they got to the door, at which point, she leant heavily in to Bernie and stumbled towards the car in her drunken state. Without criticism, Bernie wrapped an arm around her to hold her upright as she too struggled across the car park with her calves weak underneath her. Serena landed against the side of the taxi, yanking open the door and falling in as the blonde clambered in carefully and told the driver the address. 

As they arrived at Serena’s house, Bernie threw a £20 note at the driver before sliding out and grabbing a hold of Serena’s arm to help her. The two doctors staggered up the drive and in to the house, laughing wildly to themselves as they entered the kitchen in search of water or wine, whichever came first. Finding a bottle of Shiraz in the wine rack, Bernie presented it dramatically before yanking off the cork and taking a large swig, straight from the bottle. 

“Make yourself at home!” Serena joked as she snatched the bottle and drank some down herself. “I am so ready for bed.”

“Ah-ah-ah!” Bernie interrupted, extending a hand towards Serena with a grin. “I promised you a dance before the night was over…I keep my promises.” 

“There’s no music, Bernie.” Serena whispered humbly as she stepped forward and fell against Bernie’s chest, kicking off her shoes in to the corner of the room so that she stood at shoulder height. Giggling quietly as she looked down, Bernie slipped off her own heels and nudged them out of the way, padding across the kitchen floor to turn on the radio and switch it to the music station. 

“Dance with me, Serena.“ The blonde offered humbly as she outstretched a hand, taking Serena’s and holding her closely as an unfamiliar song started to play. Wrapping the brunette up tightly in her arms, Bernie started to slow dance across the kitchen floor and Serena rested her head against her shoulder as she allowed her feet to carry her absentmindedly. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, and the lyrics resonated clearly in Bernie’s clouded mind as she closed her eyes and realised how much Serena mattered to her all over again - whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am free again. 

As the song came to a close, Serena smiled broadly against Bernie’s bare flesh and hummed. 

The opening chords of the next song started to play and the brunette couldn’t help but break away from the embrace enthusiastically, starting to bounce up and down against the kitchen tiles as she danced drunkenly to the melancholy track. The medic couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, smirking as she swayed casually in her pre-occupation with Serena’s own choreography. Dancing was something that Bernie was physically incapable of - she didn’t understand the need for it - and she’d gotten through more than twenty years in the army without ever needing such isolated control of her hips. 

“Hello Auntie Serena, Bernie.” Jason addressed calmly as he slipped past the pair of them to grab a glass of water. “Good time at the party then?”

“It was quite, Jason. I hope your evening was just as exciting.” Bernie responded warmly as she tried to hold back her own laughter at seeing Serena’s ethereal hand gestures. “We’ll see you in the morning when Serena’s a little calmer, right?”

“Yeah, right, goodnight..” Jason finished dubiously before leaving the room abruptly and heading up the stairs. 

The women continued to dance through the night, until their feet ached so much that it seemed impossible to go on, and then they clambered up the stairs and into bed. 

“You really do like to keep your word.” Serena speculated in to the silence of the room, receiving a slight snigger from Bernie as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. As she looked across at her, Serena grinned dumbly and cuddled in to Bernie’s side sleepily.


	5. embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e is for embrace | angst, i am sorry.

Serena had noticed that her fellow consultant had been acting oddly all day, keeping her distance, holding something back. She hated to pry - she knew how much the idea of people speculating made her skin crawl and she didn’t want that paranoia for Bernie, but she was worried. 

“Hello.” Serena addressed softly as she took a seat beside her on the bench; the bench that had become their meeting place for fag breaks and coffee. The blonde looked small, unusually so considering her muscular frame and confident character, as Serena focused upon Bernie.

“Hi.” Bernie replied, lifting her head with sullen eyes and her lip held between her teeth. “Everything alright?” 

“Quite, and with you?” Serena’s words were concerned, though she kept her worries at bay in the knowledge that Bernie would only recoil in to herself if she sensed it. The two women made eye contact and Serena couldn’t ignore the glassiness of brown eyes that hinted at despair. “I know there’s something.”

Bernie failed to hide her own resounding upset, breath filling her ribcage and holding her up stoically, a marionette doll hung upon the strings of her own pride. There was no denying that she was struggling, that she was cracking under the pressure and soon said cracks would start to show in more than saddened looks and lonely tears. A weak yet genuine grin slipped on to Bernie’s lips as she looked towards her companion and contently acknowledged her own good fortune. 

“It’s fine, really, I just- I forgot what it was like, to feel this lonely. Marcus always loved me, even when I was on the other side of the world…and I know it’s selfish but I miss that. He cared about me so much and now? Nobody does.” Bernie whispered solemnly, drawing in smoke from a cigarette that had been burning down between nimble fingers. Smoke coiled in to her lungs and slow danced there before it leaked from between her plump lips, billowing in to the cool night as ashen wisps curled against the breeze and faded to nothing. “Was there something you needed?”

There was a tensity that clung to the atmosphere, nails digging into their calm minds as assured thoughts flickered like a dwindling flame. Words irrelevant in kind to their small actions - reassuring touches, inspiriting nods and tender glances - and Bernie wondered how the ferocity of warfare could ever feel akin to this. The noise was white, the blood was red and the ash was black but this was golden. 

“No, I was just- just going to ask if you were coming for a drink.” Serena offered kindly, sweet yearning lingered in her tone as her eyes gleamed in the yellowing light of the street lamp. “My treat!”

“How could I resist, Ms Campbell?” Bernie enthused warmly, inhibitions forced aside as her expression held effortlessly. Stubbing out her cigarette roughly, she stood and sauntered casually towards Albies with Serena close at her side. 

The cold night clung to Serena, even as they entered the bar and she slipped off her woollen coat, and with every breath a small foggy shadow slinked out of her mouth. Bernie could sense the chill that had nestled in to her pale flesh, and she simply pursed her lips in solace. Warming red wine ran down the back of her throat and filled her with benevolent and rich flavour, clinging to her tastebuds and melting in to the palate luxuriously. 

Evening traipsed on and the two women moved through time like each minute was the rung of a ladder, climbing ever higher as sobriety fell to be a distant memory. Burning through a bottle of cheap wine, Serena fell in love in the silence, and while the rest of the world became a little blurry at the edges, they remained in glorious technicolor. Prisms glistening in the soft light of the bar, in the mellow babel of the room - her laugh shimmered, her smile a brand-new shade of silver and the sadness clinging to her eyes - a cacophony of faded colour. 

“I care, you know, about you. I care what happens to you, even if it means nothing to you - I would notice if something happened, I promise.” 

“And I, you, Serena. We are quite a pair, you and I.”

“That we are.” Serena finished, her lips curling upwards and catching the weight of the world in her cupid’s bow. Everything paused for a split second and Bernie caught the memory between her teeth and held it down - clinging to her happiness and swallowing it down to rest in her gut. 

In their alcohol-infested states, they settled in a booth and Serena curled in to Bernie’s side. The embrace was gentle yet strong, perhaps the stitchings of a new love and being cradled in the arms of these two women. Serena fell into Bernie’s warmth and rested there, her weight comfortable and grounding against the blonde’s sinewy form, and it was as though her presence held some absurd sense of fate, at least in her own mind. Bernie had been prepared for her to move - for the moment to end only too abruptly, but it didn’t, and she remained there as her heartbeat fluttered steadily against the reddening flesh of her colleague’s exposed sternum.

Watching Serena was like watching the sunrise, utterly beautiful, unique, never the same. Every moment was another thing to witness, to love, to commit to memory - her mannerly nature forced her to swallow it down, but under the influence of her wine, Bernie struggled to keep her head screwed on correctly. The world was merely a backdrop to her - noise became irrelevant, light failed to attract and her mind clung strictly to Serena and everything she did. In her focus, she failed to observe the concentration on Serena’s own face as she tried not to stare, beaming shyly as she sipped coyly at her glass. 

“Oh! Dom’s here! I’ll just pop over and say hi, you coming?” Serena exclaimed absent-mindedly as the young doctor walked through the door, and hopped up enthusiastically in her tipsy state to greet her colleague. 

Silently, watching Serena amble across the busy room, she hummed with a melancholic glint in her eye. 

“God, I love you.”


	6. first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> f is for first date | this is a cute one

Bernie had felt nervous for days, she had been waiting months to take Serena out and now she the time had come. She was only hoping that the evening would run successfully - well enough at least that she could hope for a second date - and Serena ought to have a good time, that was all that mattered to her. 

Slipping her long, black coat over herself, Bernie couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. It was half five, and she wasn’t supposed to be picking Serena up until six but, for the first time in years, she was running early. Her blonde hair tapered down to frame her face, falling in loose curls against the nape of her neck and bounced merrily at her shoulders with each step. As she grabbed her keys and handbag, Bernie took a moment to glanced over herself in the mirror and ran a hand through her unruly hair before she left the house. 

The car sailed through the traffic, thoughtless and simple as the engine idled beneath her foot on the accelerator pedal. It was 5:47 when Bernie pulled up outside of Serena’s house, eagerness clinging to her back like soft encouragement. Serena slipped out of the front door only moments later, strolling down the gravel-laid driveway in a typically Serena leopard-print blouse. Her trousers sat on her hips, accentuating her petite waist and the glorious curve of her backside, which was only made more prominent by the way her hips licked upward as she strutted confidently towards the passenger seat. 

“You’re prompt.” Serena commented surprisedly as she opened the passenger door and slipped into it, leaning to greet Bernie with an amicable peck upon the cheek. “First time since you started, and it’s just for me. I’m flattered.”

“You should be, I don’t think I’ve ever been early for anything.“ Bernie replied light-heartedly, as her worry melted away and the delight of Serena’s company took its place. “You ready to go?“

Serena gave an affirmed nod as she slipped her seatbelt across her midriff and clicked it in to place, smiling as Bernie put the car in gear and drove. They were only driving for a few minutes before Bernie pulled in to the carpark of a restaurant that Serena failed to recognise, living in Holby for as many years as she, it was odd to find something that you hadn’t known was there before. The place seemed classy, expensive, but neither woman made comment on that as they got out of the car and headed for the entrance. 

There was an astute courteousness in Bernie’s actions, she was trying to impress so she was doing everything by the book - holding doors, pulling chairs, ‘ladies first’. It put Serena a little on edge, she was used to a gruff and unmannerly Bernie…it was part of her charm, but it was odd to see her acting so graciously. A waiter guided them to a table for two near the back of the bustling restaurant, away from the hubbub, and left them with a pair of menus. 

“I didn’t even know this place existed, how did you find it?” Serena asked casually as her eyes danced over the menu, pausing on a couple of occasions in consideration. 

“A friend told me about it.” Bernie responded dubiously, placing the menu down in front of her having already made a decision and smiling. “I’m pleased you like it.”

The brunette hummed decisively before giving a brief nod and putting down the laminated sheet easily. Their eyes met across the table, and Bernie held her gaze as she observed the tenderness in Serena’s look and the glow in her pink cheeks. Her attentions danced over every inch of her; the rogue strand of hair by her ear, the natural arch of her brow and the crease of her cupid’s bow - utterly magnificent, and an incomparable beauty to that of the rest of the world as far as Bernie was concerned. 

“Are you ladies ready to order?” A young waiter asked as he drew his pad from his pocket and brandished a pen readily, listening as the two women listed their orders. “Of course, that will be with you soon.”

The two women chatted eagerly, invested in their own company as the minutes trickled by desperately. The night felt it was being kept in an hourglass, especially to Bernie who felt she had an agenda for the night though the concern lingered subliminally in the back of her mind. As the evening carried on, Bernie kept a mental log of every little thing Serena did for later reference, to think back on if this was the only chance she ever got to make such memories. 

Their food was sublime, as the price would infer, but it wasn’t important. Beyond the first mouthful, neither made comment on what they were eating, the food was an excuse to be there but it wasn’t what mattered…neither woman particularly cared for anything more than their presence within that room. The conversation flowed comfortably, effortlessly as the rest of the world seemed to fade and leave them alone at that table, with nothing to think about beyond each other. 

“Would you like to order some dessert?” Bernie suggested as she caught sight of Serena’s empty plate and glass, hailing a waiter. 

“Do you mind sharing? I haven’t the appetite for anything big.” Serena enquired as the waiter approached, receiving an enthusiastic nod. “Could I get a white chocolate cheesecake please, with two forks?”

Their dish was served only a few minutes later, placed delicately in between them with a fork for each. Serena grabbed a forkful and brought it to her lips, drawing the dessert from it carefully as she breathed gloriously and let her eyes fall back as she appreciated the luxurious flavour coating her tongue. It took great concentration for Bernie to conceal how her breath hitched at the sound Serena had produced, invading her minds and making her extremities go weak. 

“You have a little-” Bernie interjected anxiously as Serena’s eye flicked open and returned her to the world. “-On your lip.”

Serena reached up aimlessly, missing entirely and rubbing viciously before raising an eyebrow as a silent question. Without thought, Bernie reached across the table and slowly, taking much more time than was necessary, wiped the cream from the corner of Serena’s lip and drew back, licking it from her own thumb sensually. Serena sucked in her cheeks harshly, hiding the effect that Bernie’s action had forced up on and swallowing thickly. 

Outside of the window it was getting dark, and as Bernie drained the last of her wine she knew that soon it would be time to leave. She wanted to stay there for longer, forever if it was possible, but life got in the way and she would have to cling to what she had. The memories had buried themselves in her brain, embedded in her mind like troops - ready to be summoned in her time of need. 

“Thank you for tonight.” Serena offered warmly, grinning as she dabbed her mouth with a serviette and placed her fork on the now empty dish between them. 

Bernie called for the bill, paying on her card and rising to leave, offering Serena a hand with her coat before they headed out of the door and back to the car. She drove Serena home in a relaxed silence, no need for words now where their thoughts were clear to see in their faces. As the car pulled up outside of Serena’s house, her colleague walked her to the front door and the pair of them traipsed steadily up the drive. 

“Goodnight, Ms. Campbell.” Bernie whispered in the quiet dark, eyes set on Serena where she stood under the harsh light of the porch, and the way it set her skin ablaze in blushing hues. There was something in her tone that went beyond a simple farewell, and though Serena could detect it, she had no clue what it meant and she acted, impulsively as was in her nature, instead of thinking. 

Her lips met Bernie’s and all the air seemed to disappear as her lungs strained to breathe, but all they could taste was her - the divine concoction of wine and chocolate and a lingering hint of tobacco.The kiss was brief, somewhat innocent though there was a depth behind it - months of built up tension leading to this, one moment in which all of the unsaid words between them leaked out. As Bernie broke away from the kiss gently, her hand remained on Serena’s warm cheek where it had landed, and her eyes lit up. 

“Goodnight, Bernie.


	7. goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> g is for goodbye | sorry it's short, i refuse to drag this out

“Who was that on the phone?” Serena enquired casually as she entered the front room having rushed to get ready for work. “Wasn’t for me, was it?”

“No, it- it was my sergeant major. A friend of mine died yesterday, IED, I need to-to go up for the funeral. I have to say goodbye, she deserves that from me.” Bernie replied, holding back tears and she forced her words out, staring at the carpet ardently as she spoke. “I-I have to get ready.”

“Bern’, breathe. Deep breaths, it’s okay. Talk to me - we can be a little late for work this once, this is a discussion we need to have or it’s going to be looming all day.” Serena soothed, gently placing an arm around Bernie and leaving it there as a simple reassurance. “Who was it?”

“Jane, her name was Jane. I bunked with her, helped her out when she needed it, kept an eye on her. She was only 24, her poor parents!” There was obvious sadness in Bernie’s tone, but she wasn’t going to let herself cry and she certainly wasn’t going to expose the hysterics she was feeling. She knew that she was slipping, the morale of the army clung desperately but her emotion had maintained itself and she was losing touch with the person that she had been for so long. “This has changed me - living this life with you, I’m not the person I was a year ago anymore, I never would’ve let myself feel this much back then. I don’t know how to process this.”

“Time, you need time. And good liquor though I won’t encourage that quite this early in the day, but after work we will.” Serena’s words were gentle, unprecedentedly so, and she kept her tone low as she spoke. “You need time and you need space. I’m here to support you, I’ll sort things out at work so you can go to the funeral, and I’ll come with you if you’d like me to be there.”

Bernie raised her head to meet Serena’s gaze with a forlorn happiness entwined with the harrowing sadness that had glassed over her eyes. Humbly, she nipped her lower lip between her teeth and held the eye contact as curiosity escaped from where it had settled betwixt her lips.

“You’d do that? The ward might fall apart but I couldn’t care less, it’ll only be small- the families never like to make a big deal out of it but I want you there, she would’ve liked you.” The soldier in her was regretful - a respectful grieving was expected, almost desired by those who had served, and she felt as though she was undermining that code. She separated herself from them now, because she would never have a modest funeral, nor would she have her body flown back from dying in name of Queen and Country…she was no longer a soldier. “She would’ve liked to see me this happy.”

“She’d be proud of you, Bern’, of how far you’ve come since you left the front line. She knew how much it meant to leave and she would’ve been proud of you for taking that jump.” Something knowing lingered in her tone, and Bernie wondered how she always knew the right thing to say. 

The conversation was cut short by the fact that they had to leave for work, but Serena and Bernie both knew that it wasn’t the end, just an interlude. Bernie allowed herself to take a backseat for the day, knowing that Serena would only worry if she tried to work herself too hard, so sticking to the office for the most part of the day and allowing herself to take a break whenever she felt that she needed it. Serena was proud of her for knowing her own limits, even if it was only to keep her happy, and she was relieved that it was only a few hours until they could speak again. 

Bernie dragged herself through the day, swallowing down emotions as she acted like it was any other day, maintaining the professional look she always had. 

“She was like a daughter to me - I mean you know I love my kids but she was there, every day, and she needed me.” The blonde admitted weakly as the pair of them walked through the front door, shutting out the rest of the world so Bernie could grieve in peace. “She made me feel needed and I loved her for that.”

“When’s the funeral, m’love?” Serena understood her need to speak, speak with no desire for response so she kept her words limited. Her only job for the next few days was to support Bernie - both practically and emotionally - in her grief. 

“Next Friday, they have to wait for her to be flown back. I need to be there - the entire team will and I can’t let them down, I-’ Bernie hesitated as she flopped back against the cool leather of the couch, her efforts feeling wasted. 

She had become accustomed to disappointment - the promise of being permitted attendance to memorial services, living in the false belief that the army wasn’t forever. She’d broken the trend, she had left but nobody ever really did because it was for life, and even now in the real world, that life clenched at her so harshly that it left marks. What they always said - about taking a soldier out of the army, but never the army out of a soldier - was true, because even in this moment, she felt the same urgent need to remain stoic, emotionally bereft as she mourned the loss of her comrade. 

“We’ll be there - I’ll make sure of it, you don’t need to worry about anything. Focus on you, let me do the admin.” Serena’s presence was kind, reassuring as she let Bernie allow her guard to slip just a little. “Will you wear uniform?”

“I plan to. Normally I wouldn’t feel the need, but- for her, for a fellow soldier I feel it’s only proper. Everyone else will be.” Bernie responded speculatively, shutting her eyes in an attempt to relax. “What would I do without you, ey?”

Serena simply laughed, wrapping her arm around Bernie tightly and holding her in the knowledge that she needed it, even if she was never going to admit it. The feeling of having Bernie wrapped up in her arms was the most inspiring in the world, nothing could compare to the sensation of being able to hold the one you love in your arms while they fall apart inside. Bernie was a strong woman, always had been, and the idea of her failing to cope was not something that Serena had ever had to consider, but now it was here - now it was here, and all she could do was admire the woman sat beside her. 

“You’ll never have to find out.” Serena whispered calmly as she nestled her nose in Bernie’s blonde hair. “You will never have to find that out.”

Bernie cried that night - not a lot, not enough that she was forced to admit to herself that she had - and the tears slipped over cheeks without noise, like the first few raindrops before the storm starts. In the darkness, the nightmares came but she was settled by the soft body that swathed her reassuringly as she slept, and the nightmares walked away like rejected suitors, leaving a stain on her mind but no bruise. Jane was gone - the girl that she had raised to be a woman at the front was dead - and she needed to accept that fact, she said a silent goodbye.


	8. holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> h for holiday | bernie takes serena to Rome

As they arrived at the airport, Serena was fretting about everything going well while Bernie was relaxed about the entire day. After years of being in the army, she was well accustomed to travelling without advanced plans while Serena still took weeks planning a simple train journey to see her daughter. Bernie had sensed that Serena wasn’t going to be an easy person to travel with, she liked organisation which was not Bernie’s forte at the best of times, airports tended to be chaotic so there was no way Serena was going to be able to coordinate everything quite as perfectly as she wanted. 

“Bernie, did you remember your passport? I didn’t even think to ask you- we don’t have time to drive back now, oh God!” Serena exclaimed in a panic as she yanked the suitcases out of the boot and hooked her carry-on over her shoulder. 

“I’ve got it. Stop panicking, Serena, everything’s going to be fine! Just breathe!” Bernie reassured, holding back laughter as she took the larger of the two suitcases and pulled it along, with Serena hurrying beside her eagerly. “We’ve got three hours, that’s plenty of time to replace anything we’ve forgotten in duty-free!”

Serena huffed at how calm Bernie was, just because she could cope for a fortnight without any of her home comforts didn’t mean that Serena could. Her sunglasses kept slipping down the crown of her head and flopping to cover her eyes, but after the third time she got tired of trying and let them sit there. Her walk was antsy and unrefined as she stumbled over her own feet, hurrying towards the check-in with an idling Bernie to her right, looking like a middle-aged worrier with all the misplaced concern of the world resting in her anxious expression. 

“Right - tickets, passports, luggage.” Serena listed assertively as they approached the front desk, and she brandished the tickets from her pocket. “Hello!”

The transaction was distressing, and by the end of it, the woman behind the counter looked mildly traumatised through her plastered-on smile, but it was over quickly. Bernie kept her head down, mildly embarrassed by Serena’s concerns though for the most part she found it highly amusing. No one looked at them twice - it wasn’t uncommon to see such anxious behaviour, but still it put Bernie on edge to be travelling with someone who didn’t handle it as well as she. 

“We’ll go grab something to eat and then find our gate, alright ‘Rena?” Bernie offered softly, careful not to wake the beast. “You know a cup of coffee and some food will make you feel a little better.”

“We don’t have time for coffee, Bernie! We need to find our gate and get ready to board, I don’t have time for this when we’ve got so much to do!” Serena exclaimed, rushing along with Bernie close behind her. “Do stop dawdling, we haven’t got all day!”

“Serena- Serena, stop! Stop panicking and breathe, everything’s fine. We are fine, we have hours, so stop freaking out and let’s go get coffee!” Bernie exclaimed desperately, stepping out in front of her to stop her in tracks. “You need caffeine, and you need to breathe. Don’t challenge me, Serena.”

All Serena could do was grumble in complaint as she allowed herself to be dragged to Starbucks and forced in to a seat. Her eyes were tired and despite the fact she had been excited about the holiday, all she could was worry - she had struggled against the idea when Bernie first suggested it but had given in to temptation in the knowledge that her girlfriend was never going to shut up about it if she said no. As Bernie placed a large cup of coffee in front of her, she drank it down quickly and felt the buzz gliding through her veins.

Bernie reached a hand across the table to rest upon Serena’s, and behind the humour there was a sweet appreciation for how much Serena cared that everything went well. Serena flicked her sunglasses up above her eyes once again and exhaled deeply, forcing down her worries. There was an intensity looming over the two of them, a light hearted bickering between the pair of them as Serena complained at Bernie’s time-wasting and she grumbled back with remarks about her insatiable need to be in control of everything. 

“Our flight’s boarding, come on Bernie! We haven’t got all day!” Serena exclaimed the second the board changed, grabbing her carry-on and dragging Bernie by the hand to get up. The blonde rolled her eyes as she was forced to stand up, and hurry briskly across the bustling airport with an eager Serena guiding her by the hand. “Rome awaits, you’re dragging me abroad so you can at least be excited!”

“I am - very excited, excited to be there, with you and to eat gelato and to watch your face light up when you see the coliseum for the first time. I’m excited for you to have a good time, so stop freaking out and have one, okay?” Bernie’s voice was warm and caring as the pair of them walked side by side at a compromised pace towards the plane. “Please stop worrying. Everything will be fine, love.”

Serena closed her eyes for a moment, climbing aboard the plane and heading straight for her seat where she slipped in and flopped back, taking the weight off her feet and drawing in a calm breath. 

“Rome, here we come.” The brunette uttered softly as Bernie slipped in to the seat beside her. Swallowing down her qualms as she was reminded that the next two weeks were going to be spent in the most beautiful city in the world, with the most beautiful woman. 

The flight was hot, uncomfortably so, and Bernie never stopped complaining which made a change but the journey did go pristinely to plan. By the time they arrived at The St Regis, it was the early evening and they’d been awake for hours so turning in for the night didn’t seem far off. Bernie - in her typically lazy fashion - insisted that they ordered some room service, knowing that Serena would not be a happy bunny if she woke up hungry. 

“Bernie, I swear, if you’ve ordered 12 pizzas and 16 portions of ice cream for the pair of us, then I will not let you sleep until you have eaten all of them.” Serena threatened as Bernie got off the phone with room service, knowing that she would’ve made a mess of the order somehow. “I am not getting fat this holiday, I will not let you be the cause of any additional weight gain!”

“Well, you know what? If I hadn’t ordered that much food - I wouldn’t even share it with you so you can go and find your own food, if your figure means so much to you!” Bernie retorted sarcastically, sticking her tongue out childishly as she flopped on to the bed. “Go and find some salad!”

It was at least mildly amusing for a few minutes, until the food service arrived and Bernie had, indeed, ordered far too much food for the pair of them to reasonably consume…at that point it wasn’t amusing, it was hilarious. Serena kept to her word, and they did not sleep until Bernie forced down all the food she could consume and ‘accidentally’ dropped the rest on the floor, and when they clambered in to bed at almost midnight - the only noise that could be heard was Bernie’s quiet grumbling as her stomach moaned at the overpopulation of her gut, forcing outwards to form a narrow curve to her customarily flat torso. Suddenly, Serena’s concerns about gaining weight were no longer a joke, and Bernie was hilariously alarmed by the fact that she might not fit in to her jeans the following morning.

Serena refused to let her live it down for the weeks to come.


	9. illness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i is for illness / it's fluffy i promise

Bernie had been ignoring the tickle in her throat for days, and she’d blamed her reddened nose on the cold weather, but Serena wasn’t going to let it drop. For days, she had kept a close eye on her girlfriend and made sure that she wasn’t overreacting but when she woke up one Thursday morning to find Bernie sniffling and coughing desperately, she knew it was time to mention it. 

“You can’t go in to work today, you’ll give all the patients your infection - you simply can’t, I won’t let you!” Serena exclaimed as the pair of them got ready for work, with Serena taking every article of clothing that Bernie grabbed out of her hands and placing them out of the blonde’s reach until the contents of the wardrobe laid on the bed in a heap. “Get back in to bed, you’re sick!”

“Serena, I’m fine! I’ve worked with worse, you know full well that I would admit it if I didn’t feel that I was up to working! You can’t stop me from going in!” Bernie’s words might have been somewhat convincing were her tone not weakened by her uneven breaths and sniffling as she spoke. 

“I can and I will. I’ll take your car keys to work with me so that you can’t drive yourself in.” Serena argued assertively, maintaining control of the conversation with reason that she knew Bernie would only debunk. 

“I’ll get the bus.” Bernie countered. 

“You most certainly will not!”

“Try me!“ 

“Get back in bed now, Bernie, I swear!”

Eventually, after a lot of persuading, Serena conceded that Bernie could come in to work but only if she resigned herself to the office for the day and didn’t see any patients directly. Bernie knew that it was the best bargain she was going to get, so she conceded that it was a good idea and focused on the fact that she had at least been given some leeway, compromise could be worked with but the stubborn and immovable Serena that was most prevalent could not be reasoned with. Bernie grinned widely, never happier to be going in to work, and threw on clothes haphazardly before grabbing her handbag and hurrying for the car, determined to be inside of it before she could sneeze again and change Serena’ mind. 

“I don’t know why you’re making such a fuss, it’s only a cold!” Bernie exclaimed as she sneezed again, excusing herself before proceeding to rant on about the fact that she was fine and she didn’t want to be mollycoddled.

“Bernie, you are sick, accept it. Stop complaining and blame yourself for exposing yourself, it’s not my fault that you never take the correct precautions against infection, considering we are doctors! You are impossible and I don’t know how on Earth I put up with you so well but you should count yourself lucky, you whiny madam!” 

“I didn’t ask for this, in fact while I quite expressly said that i was fine without special treatment and that if you would just stop treating me like every sneeze brings me one step closer to death, then this would all be a lot easier for the both of us.” Bernie pointed out as the pair of them got out of the car and headed for the hospital entrance. “I’m going to the office, make sure to wear a gas mask when you come in because I’ve obviously contracted TB again!”

“Very funny, ha! I’ll bring you a coffee when I get a chance, and there’s a cardigan in my bottom drawer, put it on because I don’t want you getting a chill on top of all of this.”

Bernie huffed sarcastically before bumbling off to the office, staring at the forsaken heap of paperwork and grumbling as she rounded the desk and opened Serena’s bottom drawer. Despite the fact that she felt fine, and she didn’t need the cardigan - the smell of Serena was comforting to her, and while she wouldn’t admit it, she liked the way Serena insisted on looking after her despite how much it frustrated her. As she wrapped the woollen garment around herself, she lifted it to her nose and inhaled the scent of pine and clean air that was so intimately feminine and inherently Serena. 

As Bernie forced her way through the morning, she caught Serena’s voice outside the door and quickly shoved all evidence of her illness - the box of tissues, the paracetamol packet, and the Vicks - into her top drawer eagerly and painted a wide, healthy smile on her face as the brunette walked through the door with a disgruntled expression. 

“Everything okay, Serena? You look a bit on edge.” Bernie speculated, forcing the attention away from herself though the bitter nasality of her tone gave her away somewhat. “I can come and help out if you need me.”

“Bernie, don’t test me. I have had the worst morning in history and I don’t need you nattering on about jeopardising not only your health, but the health of our patients, out of sheer pride. No one cares if you give gun-yielding terrorists the sniffles, but this isn’t Kabul anymore and here we are civilised human beings who take days off sick! There’s no need to be so gung-ho about the fact that you’ve got a bloody chest infection, you’re not Actionman you know?! Have some bloody tissues!” Serena exclaimed as she flopped in to her own seat, yanking open her desk draw and throwing the Kleenex box violently at Bernie’s head. “Why are you so bloody stubborn?”

“I’m stubborn?! It’s my health - you’re the one who won’t let me get on with my life because I sneezed a couple of times. Who knew that there was something that Marcus did better at?! At least he could stop picking holes in everything I did.” Bernie retaliated spitefully as she caught the box of tissues and slammed them down dramatically beside her, internalising her amusement at the situation somewhat. 

“He also let you get blown up, so I don’t think we’re going to idolise the useless sap. If you let me mollycoddle you until this passes, we’ll see about getting an animal - NOT a cat, because you sneezing for the past couple of days has been impossible and I refuse to deal with it twenty four hours a day for the next 15 years, maybe a goldfish.” Serena offered, trying to bargain in the knowledge that she was never going to win an argument purely with force, there was too much intrinsic obstinance in everything that Bernie did.

“You are not going to bribe me with a goldfish, Serena. I’ll just go home and get a cat of my own!” Bernie pointed out, struggling to hold back her own laughter at the ludicrous nature of her words.

“We live together, you can’t hide a cat from me Bernie!” The brunette exclaimed, knowing full well that Bernie had the same ability to hide anything, as she did to tidy anything away. “Reminder that you couldn’t hide my birthday present which was literally the size of a dormouse - you cannot raise a cat in our house secretly.“ 

“I’ll get a new house, for me and the cat! You can join us when you’ve accepted that cats are not optional.” Bernie claimed boldly, immediately retracting her statement in the knowledge that she couldn’t survive two minutes without Serena…not even on a practical level. “Ha, like I’m gonna move out - I can’t make scrambled eggs or turn the dishwasher on, the cats will have to wait until you’ve reached senility.”

“Oh charming, so not too long then?!” Serena retorted indignantly, bitter that Bernie wouldn’t see reason over something so minor. “Will you please stop being such a child and take some paracetamol?”

Bernie eyed her guiltily, swallowing thickly as she reached in to the drawer and drew out the already opened pack of painkillers. Serena simply scoffed before standing up and stalking out of the room smugly and Bernie rolled her eyes as she accepted the fact that she was never going to win against someone quite as stubborn as Serena. 

The afternoon dragged and Bernie headed home early, having done all of the paperwork that she could bear to face, while Serena stayed until the end of her shift. Serena left at five o’clock almost to the minute and drove home quickly in the hope that she would be able to chastise her girlfriend for the fact that she’d been wrong about her own abilities, but her arrival home took a much sweeter tone. 

“Bernie?” Serena called softly as she headed through to the living room after hearing the noise of the television. “Oh, darling.”

Upon the sofa, Bernie was curled up in to a ball with their duvet wrapped around her, and a reddened nose from where she had been constantly blowing it all afternoon. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was a little wheezy as she slept uneasily, her neck at an unnatural angle as she had obviously nodded off while trying to fight off sleep. The TV was playing Friends re-runs and there was a mug of cold tea at the foot of the couch, companioned by a pile of crumpled tissues, and it was obvious that Bernie really had been putting on a brave face about how she had been feeling. 

Serena eased her down the sofa, untucking her feet so that she was spread the length of it, and carefully lifted her head to place a cushion underneath it. Placing a gentle kiss on Bernie’s slightly clammy forehead, she smiled and gingerly made her way out of the room, switching off the television as she passed it and leaving Bernie to sleep.


	10. jogging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> j is for jogging | fluff once more

“‘Rena, you’ve been saying that you want to get fit for ages. While I think your body is delectable the way it is, I am tired of listening to you moaning about this so you are coming with me!“ Bernie exclaimed as she pulled on her trainers, listening to Serena argue once again that she never said she wanted to go running, her stamina was quite fine apparently. “Shoes. On. Now!”

“Bernie, I don’t want to! This is like slave labour, I didn’t ask for this.” Serena complained despite the fact that she was already lacing up her trainers resoundingly. 

Serena stood up looking less enthusiastic about the next half an hour, than the 12 hour shift she had tomorrow. Bernie, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to get out and put Serena through her paces; she also looked forward to the opportunity of massaging Serena when she was complaining about her aching muscles and the shower that was likely to take place when the pair returned home. It had been months of living together, months of listening to Serena moan every morning that her trousers made her arse look like an overfilled shopping bag, and she was tired of listening to it so she had persuaded her that joining her on her daily run was a good idea. 

“Come on! Half an hour and then you can come back and complain for the rest of your life about the fact that I’ve forced you in to this against your will. We’ll celebrate with wine when we get back, and I’ll help you work out those leg muscles.” Bernie flirted as the couple walked out of the front door and in to the street. “I know it might be too difficult for you, but I promise that I’ll go easy.” 

The brunette simply scoffed at her before she took off running, suddenly encouraged to prove her own abilities. Serena maintained a strong pace for at least a quarter mile before she started to slow, forcing steady breaths out as not to show that she was struggling already. Bernie held back laughter as she jogged along happily, easily holding Serena’s pace and nudging forward in an attempt to push her girlfriend along. Serena was hiding her hindered breaths though it was becoming apparent in her slowing pace that she wasn’t going to hold out for much longer. 

“Bern’-” Serena uttered, panting a little as the word escaped her mouth desperately. “You wanna- take a break or-? You look like you’re struggling.”

“No, I’m fine! You struggling?” The blonde teased, sniggering as she felt herself start to sweat just a little as they ran in the gentle warmth of the day. “Because we can stop, if you need to.”

Serena answered with a whimper of the negative, forcing on in her innate determination to prove capable. Bernie pursed her lips as she slowed her own pace, knowing that Serena would sooner give herself a coronary than admit defeat, but Serena pushed on in an attempt to show off and Bernie got the most glorious view of her backside as she ran along in her leggings. Her breath hitched as she watched the way that it bounced just slightly with every stride in a way that made Bernie’s chest heave, more so than any running could. 

As she forced through her pain and ignored the pounding behind her ribs, Serena focused on how marvellous Bernie looked when she had just been to the gym and how the glistening of sweat on her taut flesh made her even more desirable. She thought about the bitter, saltiness of her skin as she kissed it, and she remembered how amazing it felt to have Bernie’s weight resting against her in exhaustion. Her legs were throbbing so hard she could almost feel blood pumping through them eagerly, and she was ready to give up. 

“Serena-” Bernie called, emphasising her own breathing as she hurried to catch up to the brunette. “You’re too good at this, I concede defeat. I’m knackered, let’s go home.”

There was no mistaking the way that Serena’s eyes lit up at hearing that her torture was finally over and she came to an abrupt halt, exhaling heavily as her legs gave out underneath her and she flopped to sit on the curb of the road. Bernie couldn’t help but find it slightly endearing how much Serena had exerted herself, even if it was just to show off; she had known that she was bad at failing, but not to such an extent. The two women sat at the side of the road as they regained their breath for a few minutes before Bernie’s hopped up enthusiastically and offered Serena a hand. 

“I don’t think I can walk. My legs feel like the jelly at Elinor’s 6th birthday party, and it never set because there was a power cut in the night.” Serena uttered, still struggling to speak between harsh breaths and Bernie held back laughter as she tried to pull Serena up, only to find that her legs literally failed to support her. “This is why I don’t do exercise! You’re the fit one, you tried to break the natural order and this is the comeuppance I face as a result.”

“Come on, woman, let’s get you home!” Bernie responded, rolling her eyes as she leant down and hooked one arm under Serena’s bent knees and the other around her back as she hoisted her easily off the ground. Serena squealed in alarm as she wrapped her arms around Bernie’s neck and clung to her anxiously while incessantly telling her to let go. “Stop fussing or I’ll make you an ice bath when we get home!”

People walking down the street gave them odd looks that neither of them paid attention to, and Bernie made sure Serena had her head tucked snugly in to blonde curls as the pair happened to walk past Ric Griffin driving down the street. 

As she carried her lover over the threshold, Bernie ignored the twinge in her back and set Serena down at the bottom of the stairs, smugly observing her damp, pink complexion as she kicked off her trainers. Wine certainly sounded like a good idea, as did that massage.


	11. kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> k is for kittens | HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A DELIGHTFUL 18TH

Serena had returned home late that evening, already in a lousy mood as a result of the busy shift she had just forced her way through, only to find that there was yet more reason for her to be frustrated. She walked in to the living room to find Bernie with three kittens roaming around on her chest as she laid flat on the carpeted floor. 

“Bernie-” Serena uttered sharply, arching her eyebrow expectantly. “Where did those come from?”

“Serena! There was an old lady coming around the houses offering them because they were going to be taken to a shelter if no one could take them - there’ s Marmalade, Shadow, and Bramble.’ Bernie introduced, grinning warmly as she pointed at each cat to infer their identity. Serena had to hide her happiness behind a passive pursing of her lips, approaching Bernie to find her with a slight redness in her face that Serena refused to ignore. “Serena, don’t pout - look at how cute they are!” 

“Bernie, I cannot believe that you have decided to bring home three cats without consulting me first. This is not what we agreed upon - you are impossible!” Serena exclaimed, smirking slightly through her anger as she stooped down. “Hello darlings..”

The blonde couldn’t help but grin a little at how quickly her girlfriend had given in to temptation and become enamoured with the little kittens. As Shadow crawled over her chest, she felt a sneeze brewing and held her breath to hold it, careful to not to alarm the small feline with her sharp incline of breath. Bramble was kneading her paws against the carpet, meowing as her brother fell in to the side of her and knocked her over comically. Serena nipped her lip between her teeth as she kneeled and outstretched a hand to run along the tabby’s belly. 

It had taken all of two minutes for Serena to accept defeat and tumble on to the floor beside Bernie and watch the new arrivals as they explored their surroundings. 

Over the next few weeks, Serena had noticed that Bernie had been quite unwell; not worryingly so but still enough that she ought to question it if it didn’t go away soon. Bernie had been ignoring it, hiding her sneezes and making sure to keep her face well-powdered at all times in order to hide the redness that was coating her face and neck. People at work had started to notice, but it was easy to assume that she was simply struggling with the emergence of spring. 

“Marmalade!” Serena chastised as she walked in to the kitchen to find the most boisterous of the trio scratching at the door, taking chunks out of the paint with every shred. “I swear, why did I ever agree to getting cats? Oh, wait - I didn’t.”

There was evidence of the cats’ presence in every corner of the house - carpeting that was coming up at the edges, remnants of cat food scattered around and threads strewn about the floor when Serena’s clothes had been subject to eager claws and playful teeth. Serena did think the cats were sweet, and she appreciated having someone to come home to when Bernie was on the late shift, but they were extremely difficult to live with and they contested even Bernie’s ability to make a mess. 

It had been increasingly hard to cope with living with Bernie while she was sick - it was challenging to deal with a tired and groggy Bernie, even if she was doing everything in her power to appear fine and in the best health. After almost three months of owning the kittens, it became apparent that Bernie’s health issues weren’t short lived, and in a bout of concern, Serena confronted her about it one evening.

“Bernie, you have to tell me what’s wrong. I know that you have the answer so don’t pretend to be clueless, just tell me the truth.” Serena ordered, keeping her tone level yet sharp as she stood in front of Bernie where she sat on the couch, Shadow curled up in her lap asleep.

“Well, the thing is-” Bernie uttered quietly, feeling extremely awkward in the knowledge that there was no way for her to rationally escape the situation. “You see, the reason that I’ve been so ill recently…I know why. It’s-”

“Bern’, just tell me! You’re worrying me!” Serena exclaimed, hands siting on her hips as she stood, waiting impatiently for an explanation from her guilt-ridden girlfriend. 

“It’s the cats!” The words burst out of Bernie’s mouth before she could stop herself, the blurted it out quickly before averting her gaze immediately to look down at the cat where she rested against the silk of her pyjama bottoms. “I’m allergic to them!” 

The brunette looked at her with shock in her eyes, unsure of how to process the information she had just received and eager to know what on Earth had possessed Bernie to subject herself to such suffering. Bernie didn’t seem like the type to suffer in silence, and she certainly didn’t seem the type to subject herself unnecessarily. Why hadn’t she just told Serena the minute she found out—

“Excuse me?” Serena interjected abruptly, realising in a split second that this couldn’t have been new to Bernie. “How long have been aware of this?”

“A while…” Bernie responded evasively, running her fingertips through Shadow’s black fur softly.

“How long’s a while?” Her girlfriend asked intrusively, bitter in her tone as she knew the answer she was going to receive.

“Just a few months, maybe a year or two.” 

“Since before we got them! You brought home three cats without asking me, and persuaded me to keep them despite the fact you knew you were allergic to them! What were you thinking?” Serena’s eyes were so wide that they might fallen out of her head if it weren’t for them being held in quite so tightly. Her jaw dropped open as she took a moment to accept what she had just heard before proceeding to continue her ranting. “I have put up with this for months - sneezing, coughing, rashes, bloodshot eyes, people at work thinking all sorts! I cannot believe you wouldn’t tell me about this! Why would you actively choose to go out and get three cats?!”

Bernie raised her eyes through her eyelashes, pouting slightly as she lifted Shadow up to remind Serena just how gorgeous she was, only to find that there was no hint of a smile on her girlfriend’s face behind the effervescent anger lingering in her eyes. There was no hint of forgiving even as she took Shadow from Bernie and held her close against her chest, and Bernie simply pursed her lips and fought the urge to smile. In the corner of the room, Marmalade and Bramble were curled together as they napped, so unaware of what was happening as was their sister resting in the gentle arms of her very unhappy owner. 

“Have you been taking anti-histamines?” 

“I couldn’t risk you finding any of the scrips’. I will now, I promise.” The blonde replied guiltily, ignoring the tickle in her nose as it really would top it off if she sneezed right now. “Please don’t be mad - you know you wouldn’t have let me get them otherwise, and it’s not like I could leave them to go to the shelter!”

“I can’t be angry at you for taking them, I can be angry at you for lying about something so ridiculous though!” Serena retorted, giggling as she snuggled the black cat in to her chest and grinned widely at the hilarity of the situation. “I can’t believe you are such an idiot!” 

Bernie scoffed, standing up and striding to the corner where she lifted the two other kittens from where they had been resting and nuzzled them close to her face in adoration. Serena looked across at her disdainfully though the smile on her face was undoubtable, nobody bore witness to her weak-willed attempt at chastisement other than Shadow, who laid snugly in her arms without a care in the world. 

The cats were staying.


	12. labour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> l is for labour | Serena having a baby, fluff and all.

“Bern’ - can you take over here? I need to go upstairs.“ Serena began in a calm tone, handing the file to her girlfriend as she drew in a sharp breath. 

“Of course, everything okay?” Bernie asked worriedly, raising her hand to rest on Serena’s arm in concern. “What’s going on, love?”

“Labour - I started having minor contractions a couple of hours ago, thought they might be Braxton-Hicks but they’re getting worse so I’m going to go and get a bed. My waters haven’t broken, no need to worry.” Serena responded, resting her palm against her rounded belly comfortingly. “I’ll send someone to come and get you if anything exciting looks to be happening, alright?”

“Okay, I’m taking you up there - they’ll survive down here well enough, I’m supposed to be leaving in an hour anyway.” The blonde offered warmly as she stooped down and kissed Serena’s bump. “No moving too quickly, little guy.”

Serena smiled softly as Bernie wrapped an arm around her side, helping her to stagger carefully towards the lift. The pregnant mother wasn’t extremely worried, and she fought against the worry that she did feel in the knowledge that it was just the irrational fear she witnessed in every expectant mother she’d ever met. The anxiety she felt, even as she was guided to the lift, leaning heavily against Bernie, clung to her sub-conscious though she fought it with rationality. Her breathing was heavy as she felt another contraction building in her gut as the lift doors closed and it started to move. 

As she held a stoic expression, her laboured breaths increased as she endured the intense pain that ran through her body. Watching as the doors open and forcing her back to stand upright, Bernie yelled to the first nurse she saw for help. 

“Is everything alright, Miss Campbell? You aren’t due for another week or two - we’ll find you a bed and get an ultrasound on you. Bay 2, if you wouldn’t mind helping me, Ms Wolfe.” The kind-hearted nurse suggested, rounding to take Serena’s other arm and help her to the empty bed across the ward. “Just get comfortable and Mr Thompson will be over to speak to you very soon.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been working while you’re in labour! Absolute idiot.“ Bernie grumbled as she took a seat at the foot of the bed, rolling her eyes as Serena sat down and curled her feet up underneath her in the way she always did. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, for now at least, the pain isn’t too bad. Better than I recall last time being.” Serena reasoned, laughing a little through her suffering as she sucked in a sharp breath. “Jinxed that, didn’t I.”

Bernie pursed her lips softly as she moved her left hand to run down Serena’s calf soothingly. She knew that Serena wasn’t going to accept help, she was too stubborn for it, so Bernie was going to have to offer as much as help as she could and hope that Serena wasn’t going to outright refuse it. Serena was swallowing down her pain as it rose over her, forcing a deep blush upon her cheeks. Her toes curled down in to the mattress as she held back a groan. 

“Miss Campbell! Pleased to see you! Let’s get an ultrasound on you and see how baby is and then we’ll see how far dilated you are.” Derwood offered enthusiastically as he bounded over to the bed and drew the ultrasound from it’s spot beside the bed. “You just hang in there and don’t do anything without warning us.”

As the ultrasound screen turned on, the obstetrician squirted cold gel across her abdomen and spread it across as he searched for a heartbeat. Finding it easily, he took a close look at the baby’s position and found it was nudging down at Serena’s cervix with its head, showing its apparent eagerness to join the rest of the world. They had been careful to remain gender-neutral with their pronouns, wanting to keep it a surprise despite the fact that looking at the ultrasound had given them near-certain confirmation - the one drawback of being acutely knowledgeable on the topic of babies. 

For the next couple of hours, Serena barely grumbled as she faced the pain of childbirth; determined to keep a straight face for Bernie’s sake and for her own. 

“Okay, you need to get ready to push soon Serena. As soon as it feels right, you can go for it entirely.” The midwife explained kindly as she returned the chart to the bottom of the bed and reached for her pager. “Ms Wolfe, if you could give us a yell when she feels ready?”

“I’m sure she’s more than capable of that herself.” Bernie answered with a bitterness in her tone, ignoring the way Serena rolled her eyes as she grunted and held back through another contraction. “‘Rena, if you want the epidural - you have to say so now or it’ll be too late.”

“I don’t need it, I’m fine-” The pregnant woman’s reply was cut short as she grasped her girlfiend’s hand and squeezed it tightly, sucking in her cheeks to keep from screaming the entire hospital down. “I’m ready to push.”

The midwife, who had been about to leave the room, whipped around quickly and headed back to the bed after putting a call out on her pager. She took a deep breath as she made tense eye contact with Bernie and smiled weakly as she lifted the bottom of Serena’s gown over her knees as the brunette pulled up her knees to expose herself to the cool air of the room. A second nurse entered the room with a wide smile, rounding the bed to stand beside the expectant mother, opposite Bernie as she checked over Serena’s obs quickly and nodded towards the midwife. 

“With the next contraction then, Serena…” The midwife suggested calmly, lifting her head to see the slight grimace on Bernie’s face as she looked towards her partner. 

After what felt like moments, the next contraction rose like a tidal wave over Serena’s body and tore through her agonisingly as she dug her nails in the back of Bernie’s hand, desperately wringing it as she bit back her own screaming. Bernie swallowed down her own suffering, in the knowledge that there was no way it could compare, and simply bit her lip to conceal just how strong Serena really was despite her feeble and slight figure. 

“Can you give her some pain relief?! It’s obvious that she’s in agony, just look at her you idiots!” Bernie exclaimed angrily as she glared down towards the midwife, stood there passively as she watched Serena hold back the tears that threatened to fall onto her cheeks. 

“Bernie-”  
“No!”  
“Bernie!” The blonde sent her a meaningful look which was met only with a confident shake of the head. “I’m sorry ladies, she’s a little overprotective, as you can see.”

Serena had been careful not to make eye contact with Bernie through her contractions, careful not to show Bernie just how much pain she was in or the whole purpose of concealing her weakness fell pointless. However, with this short exchange, Bernie caught her eyes as she drew in a breath and held it in her lungs, forcing with all her might which received positive and enthusiastic response from the midwife down at ’the business end’. 

“‘Rena-” Bernie started softly, ignoring the pain that rang her through her body as Serena’s grip of her hand seemed to tighten further. “I love you. I know how strong you are, how brave you are, how tough you are. I love you so please don’t hide for my sake. Scream the entire hospital down for all I care, don’t hold it back like you have been. We’ll get through this okay.”

With her girlfriend’s supportive words, Serena let a sob wrack through her as the hormones overwhelmed her in the peak of labour, starting to cry as she continued to be strong and bring their child in to the world. Bernie lifted her free, uncoupled hand, to rest against Serena’s clammy cheek as she watched the pain trickle fro Serena’s eyes little, the contraction subsiding. The next one was upon them almost before Serena had even had a moment to breathe, and this one the midwife started the ‘getting close’ and ‘just one more’ encouragements, and Bernie knew how close they were getting - as if the tightening of Serena’s grip on her already bruising knuckles and fingers. 

“You can do this, I love you Serena.“ 

Bernie could see the exhaustion started to cloud her girlfriend’s state of mind, knowing that she was going to crash out almost as soon as the birthing was over. And with one great final push, came the cries of a newborn, and two loud cracks - Serena’s snapped up worriedly towards Bernie, with watery eyes and a reddening in her cheeks, but she didn’t have the energy even to be concerned as she felt the placenta birthed and her head fell back against the pillow with drastic fatigue. 

“I love you.” Serena offered apologetically as she knew the pain she had caused Bernie, though unintentional, and realised that their second child had just been born. The newborn was slipped in her to her arms quickly, swaddled in a white blanket, and she gasped as she looked down to see the most beautiful baby girl. “And I love you, little darling.”

Even through the pain of her now fractured knuckles, Bernie grinned widely at the scene as she wrapped an arm protectively around the two in the bed as Serena drifted to sleep with the baby following close behind her after a very dramatic entrance in to the world. She wasn’t ready to leave that moment, not ever, but definitely not for at least a while…though Serena would insist she went to get an x-ray the moment she woke up…and Bernie knew better than to argue with Serena.


	13. mondays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a few days | m is for mondays

Serena rolled over at 5am to the sound of her alarm ringing in her ears, there was nothing in this world she hated more than the dawn shift but someone had to do it. Bernie grumbled, pulling the duvet over her head and rolling over to go back to sleep, as the sound of the alarm clock filled the room.

“Come on, up you get.” Serena whispered, voice croaky with sleep as she rubbed her eyes. “How are you still so terrible with mornings?”

“Shhhh!” Bernie moaned as she buried her head in her pillow and tried to ignore her girlfriend. Her blonde hair was knotted and unruly as it rested, peeking up from above the duvet. 

Serena rolled her eyes as she pulled down the quilt and slipped down from the bed, rounding it to Bernie’s side to drag her up. Bernie fought against her a little before conceding and allowing herself to be pulled up. 

“Rise and shine, darling.” Serena uttered sarcastically as she ran her fingers through her hair and made for the bathroom, ready to wash off the night’s sleep and hopefully wake herself up a little. As she stepped under the spray of warm water from the shower, the blonde stumbled through the bathroom door and headed for the sink. Picking up her toothbrush and coating it with Aquafresh before shoving it in to the side of her mouth and looking towards a naked Serena as she allowed the warm water to run down her body. “Eyes front, soldier.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Miss Campbell.” Bernie teased, articulate words rolling slovenly from her mouth as toothpaste gathered, filling her cheeks. She brushed for a few more moments before spitting in to the sink and running the tap before wiping her lips against the back of her hand and leaving the bathroom. Serena knew that she would be tempted to go back to bed if she was left alone too long so Serena quickly washed herself, cutting her shower short as she exited the bathroom and wrapped a towel tightly around her. The cotton garment sat comfortably under each armpit, holding itself up as she walked back to the bedroom to find Bernie flopped back on top of the duvet, half-dressed. 

She couldn’t help but giggle at the way Bernie had fallen asleep quite so suddenly, and the way she had landed so askew across the bed with her legs still hanging almost entirely over the edge. Carefully shaking her girlfriend awake, Serena quirked her lip as brown eyes flicked open suddenly and Bernie sat up briskly as though she had never been asleep at all. Bernie pursed her lips guiltily as she stood up stoically and made for the vanity to spray some perfume upon herself and run a brush through her hair quickly. It took her only a moment to realise that she wasn’t fully dressed, and she reached for her shirt, buttoning it swiftly with her deft fingers. 

“Bern’?” Serena uttered as she noticed that the blonde’s eyes were quite literally falling shut with every moment and she realised just how tired she was - Bernie didn’t sleep well, not since leaving the army, and most nights she would stare at the ceiling for hours - pretending to be asleep to keep Serena from worrying, and to respect her kind intent, Serena kept up the facade of not knowing. “I’ll drive so you can nap in the car, okay?”

“Sure.” She murmured as she blinked quickly, in an attempt to get her eyes to stay open. “Who decided Mondays were a good idea? I hate that person, whoever they are.”

“You do realise that if Mondays didn’t exist - you’d just be hating a different day of the week, yeah? I mean, if you did a job where Monday was your day off - you’d be loving it. Everyone picks on Monday - it’s not like it asked to be the start of the working week.” Miss Campbell responded with reason, lightening the conversation slightly in a play to cheer Bernie up a little. “Poor Mondays, eh?”

Bernie rolled her eyes, moving down to kiss Serena’s cheek softly and feeling Serena grin against her lips. Sluggishly, she forced herself to gather her belongings for the day and headed downstairs in the hope she could have coffee. Sadly, there was no coffee in the cupboards so she was going to have to brave it until she got to work and could persuade Serena to get breakfast. Serena wasn’t exactly happy that she was awake, but her approach to fatigue was much more passive - force yourself to be awake and eventually your body will stop complaining about it - while Bernie just moaned until someone got sick of her and said she should go back to bed. 

The car journey was quick - Bernie barely felt as if she had closed her eyes before Serena was shaking her awake and telling her that they had arrived. As they walked past Dom, entering the hospital, it became clear to Bernie just how terrible she could look in the morning before she’d had her coffee. Caffeine was a necessity for her, the only thing that kept her sane most days, and without it? She was a mess. In knowledge of this, Serena was swift in getting her a large cup and a danish to wake her up with the sugar - she’d become somewhat accustomed to dealing with a sleep-deprived Bernie and she knew what had the best results.

Even in her tired state, Bernie could maintain a little happiness - there were a thousand worse ways that she could’ve been woken.


	14. namesake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IVE BEEN SO ABSENT BLAME AMY

It had been a stressful afternoon, not painfully busy but all of the patients they had treated seemed to require a lot more than had been expected. Rickard had been the most difficult - came in thinking she could be having a miscarriage, turned out she had half a dozen cysts on her kidneys - so Wolfe and Campbell had taken her in to theatre and treated her, while 27 weeks pregnant. Post-op was crammed with Darwin patients, so she had been brought downstairs almost the second the anaesthetist had deemed her fit. 

Coming around within the first hour had initially concerned Bernie, it wasn’t normal to wake up quite that fast but there seemed to be no harm to her, nor the baby. All that required concern was the erratic state in which she had awoken, anxious about the safety of her foetus and demanding to speak to her family.

“You’re going to be fine, Miss Rickard, as is your daughter.” Bernie offered reassuringly, moving to stand at the foot of the bed. “The surgery went well, but you will have to be extremely diligent until the baby’s born.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I don’t think you’ll ever know how grateful I am.“ The patient responded enthusiastically, groaning as she shifted achingly. “Is there any way I can show you-?”

“Have a beautiful child and give her a beautiful life, and make me an Evil Queen in one of her bedtime stories.” Bernie joked, grinning broadly as she remembered fondly her pregnancies, or at least all of the aspects that she chose to remember. It had been a struggle, as had Marcus, but she loved her children more than anything. 

Serena approached the bed with a wide smile, a fresh scrub top on after a patient had conveniently ruined her favourite blouse. She sidled up beside Bernie with a proud look on her face, having left her girlfriend to close up and hurrying off to help Sacha with a disastrously infected bowel. She saw the relief on Bernie’s face, for someone who had lost so many, she still struggled to deal with it very well. 

“What’s your name, Ms Wolfe?” Miss Rickard enquired curiously, an inspired glint in her eye as she gazed down at the bump. 

“Berenice, it means ‘victorious’ in Greek.” Bernie swallowed, knowing what the patient was implying and feeling fully aware that she had just shattered yet another patient’s dreams. The look of alarm on Miss Rickard’s face was apparent, despite her attempts to remain passive, and the pursing of Serena’s lips as she held back laughter. 

“There’s always the middle name.” Serena reasoned, maintaining a professional gravitas as the patient lifted her head curiously. “Griselda.” 

“Oh…” Her tone was uneasy as she avoided eye contact, catching her lip between her teeth momentarily. “And your name?“

“Serena.“ 

Bernie had a familiar sarcasm in her eyes as she forcefully held her expression taut, focusing on the patient’s kind intentions. It was apparent that Serena was a much more valid option, and of much greater interest to the mother who smiled widely as she caressed her bump and looked thoughtfully towards her unborn child. Serena reached furtively to run her fingers against Bernie’s, her reassuring presence established once against as familiar feminine warmth tingled against the blonde’s cool skin. 

“I like it…Serena.” The patient looked almost enamoured with the idea of it, and Bernie respectfully made a farewell before stalking towards their shared office. Serena was close behind her, suspecting that she wasn’t quite as amicable as she seemed to be. 

“Bern’,” She offered cautiously as she observed the way Bernie flopped against her chair. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips slightly parted as she stared off in an indefinite direction. Tension clung to the walls, enveloping them in a shroud of bitter resentment that held tight the resolute laughter in each woman. “Bern’!”

“Griselda! That was in no way necessary, Serena, in no way!” Bernie exclaimed harshly, glaring across at her. “You are, quite literally, impossible!”

“You’re genuinely annoyed, aren’t you! I can see it in your eyes, you’re going to pretend you’re kidding but I can tell that this has genuinely frustrated you!” Serena retorted earnestly, approaching Bernie calmly and leaning against the desk. “It’s not like it’s personal, you’ve said it yourself that you’d never call your own child either of your names!”

“That’s not the point.” The blonde countered sourly, scowling as she tugged at a loose thread in her jeans violently. “You aren’t the one who saved her life! Why do you get recognition?!”

Serena arched an eyebrow abjectly, meeting her gaze with a churlish degradation. There was a healthy competition between the pair of them - two strong independent women in one house was always going to lead to a little friendly rivalry - but at times it exceeded expectation and could cause real arguments. Bernie was a perfectionist, always had been, and Serena was irrationally driven in her goals. 

“It’s not like the name matters! It’s going to be you that she’s telling the story about - that little girl isn’t going to come looking for you one day and find me instead, and just in case that does happen, I’ll be sure to send her straight to you! But seriously, since when do you care more about your achievements being recognised? It’s pernickety and immature, Bernie, and I expect better from you! We both know that you got all the benefits naturally, so you can’t demand all of the nurtural ones too! Do stop whining!” 

“Whining?! Me?!” Bernie’s tone was shrill, diction failing her as she was driven by her anger. “I don’t whine!”

Serena simply scoffed as she thrust her hands expressively towards Bernie and rolled her eyes. Knowing that Bernie would take it personally, Serena skulked somewhat remorsefully and perched upon Bernie’s knee. Grazing a gentle kiss against the blonde’s temple, her lips upturned as she relented in the knowledge that the dispute would outlive the both of them if she didn’t give in now. Bernie tried to maintain her stoic expression for a solid thirty seconds before giving in and wrapping her arms snugly around her girlfriend’s midriff. 

“You win. Serena Rickard, good lord. The world ought to prepare for the child with that legacy to fulfil!” Bernie teased as she kissed Serena softly, the bitter taste on her lips overshadowed by the brunette’s own contentment. Berenice wasn’t a name for a baby, they at least could agree upon that.


	15. oilpainting

It had taken Serena some time to persuade Bernie that the gallery was a good idea, she wasn’t exactly the artsy type and it didn’t really seem like her thing, but Bernie had given in eventually. The car journey there had been strenuous, with Bernie trying to plan every last second of their day and Serena simply rolling her eyes and driving as she listened to her girlfriend rant on about how everything needed to be sorted in advance or they’d be there all day. 

“Chill out Bern, you need to relax and just appreciate what’s around you. There’s no agenda.” Serena calmly pointed out as they parked the car and headed towards the entrance of the gallery with arms intertwined. “Stop worrying so much, and relax!” 

Bernie huffed resoundingly, swallowing down her instinct to plan and focusing on the fact that she had Serena right beside her if anything did happen to go wrong. Entering the gallery, they paid their admission and walked through to the foyer where a grand oil painting of a young woman was mounted upon the wall proudly. Bernie observed its intricacies, and despite the fact that she couldn’t necessarily admire art for its beauty, she could appreciate the work and skill required to make something so precise. 

“Have you been here before?” Bernie enquired, sensing that Serena knew her way around the place just a little too well to be unfamiliar. There was a wry smile across the brunette’s face as she turned her head and observed curiously, seeing how her eyes clung to the masterpiece even as her mind wandered. 

“This place was my second home in my artistic years - when I first came back from Harvard and I was just starting work, in the days when you worked the hours you were given and that was it, the days when you had time to yourself. I’d paint when I could, but it was difficult to get anything done in a house with a younger, more boisterous Edward at home. This was where I came when I wanted to be around art and I needed time to myself.” Serena offered as she watched the way Bernie’s eyes traipsed curiously over every inch of the painting. “I thought you knew, you’ve been in the loft enough times.”

“You never told me! And my only objective when you force me in to the loft is to get in and out as fast as possible, I’m not going to waste time observing my surroundings unnecessarily, Serena!” Bernie pointed out, her lip upturning a little as her gaze fell from the wall and returned to look upon Serena. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this! Dragging me to some poxy gallery when there’s an exhibition hiding in our loft, it’s awful!” 

Serena arched her eyebrow sarcastically as she sauntered slowly towards the door of the first showing room, slipping through it to find herself surrounded by new, contemporary pieces that she had never seen before. It was unnerving to be in rooms that she had known so well, that she had sat in for hours upon hours, and yet to feel so uneasy there. Bernie’s presence beside her helped, at least three was some vessel of comfort close by despite the fact she was in unknown territory. 

“I’ll show you, if you like. When we get home, you can see all of it.” Serena offered sweetly, words hushed as they ambled casually past each piece with wonder in their eyes. Serena appreciated the emotion behind each stroke of the brush while Bernie was simply enamoured with the precise nature of such meticulous artistry. “But only if you don’t moan for the rest of the day.”

Her girlfriend’s quip had set her on edge, and Bernie spent the rest of the day focusing very implicitly on not saying anything that could be misconstrued as backhandedly rude. It had been a balancing act all afternoon - not too uninterested nor too keen. Serena respected her attempts, though she could tell all day that Bernie was acting in order to protect her opportunities and could tell what she thinking without the slightest effort. It had been enough that the prosaic had made any endeavour to seem earnest. 

After meandering around for hours, they returned to the car and headed home. 

“Okay, I’m gonna get out of these clothes and then we can go up and get them down!” Bernie enthused, hurrying through the door. There was already regret in Serena’s subconscious, painting was her quiet time and now she was going to sacrifice it, all for the good of Bernie’s cultural awareness. Whispering a soft farewell to the place which had once been her sanctuary, Serena made her way up the stairs and yanked the attic hatch down. “‘Rena, wait for me!”

“Hurry up then, slow poke!” Serena yelled as she climbed the ladder and reached for the light switch which rested just to the right of her. Light spilled to the dark corners of the room, filling the space with a dim glow and setting ablaze the colours which overspread each canvas. As memories returned to the brink of her mind, the brunette swallowed thickly and approached her finest piece - Solace - and ran her fingertips against the crusted paint. 

Bernie had approached quietly, causing Serena to jump so high she was convinced she was about to break through the creaking floorboards. Pursing her lips softly, Bernie settled her attention on the lupine composition and stared intently at every last inch of it. Standing there for easily five minutes as she simply drew in the pure technique that stood before her, the impossible skill of every brush stroke. 

As she wandered across the tight space, she settled in front of the tubes of paints that laid scattered over dried paint palettes and looked down at them sadly. 

“How long has it been…since you last painted?” Bernie enquired softly, eyes focused clearly upon the tube of crimson paint that sat askew from the others. “It’s certainly since before I moved in.”

“Probably a couple of years, I never have the time anymore. It’s not something I can work in to my schedule, not now.” Serena admitted, eyes still dancing over each painting that stood grandiosely against the walls. “Maybe I’ll start again now, now that I have a new muse.”

Bernie arched an eyebrow sarcastically as she turned her head to face Serena, booping her on the nose with a paint-covered finger and drawing in her cheeks guiltily as she realised it had transferred. Serena must have felt it, or seen it in her periphery, because the alarm in her eyes with rage on its tail was undoubtedly apparent to a nervous Bernie. Scoffing loudly, Serena craftily reached for a tube of paint and flicked off the cap before coating her finger and running it down Bernie’s cheekbone swiftly as the blonde’s eyes widened in shock. 

In wiping it off quickly, Bernie’s own palm became coated with it, as she lifted her hand to swipe Serena’s jaw; the unsuspecting brunette had been so taken aback that the tube of paint she held betwixt her fingers was squeezed ‘accidentally’ and covered the fresh cotton tank Bernie had donned only minutes before. Drawing in her cheeks irately, she yanked the garment over her head and balled it up before tossing it forcefully at Serena’s head. Catching it, Serena’s own hands became slick with the blue as she threw it down brusquely and moved towards Bernie, who wisely was backing away though she got less than three paces before banging in to a wooden stool and tripping to land on her backside. 

“You. Are. For It!” Serena exclaimed threateningly as she stooped and planted her digits against Bernie’s bare sternum and smeared the pigment across her chest. The blonde was momentarily stunned by the cold substance as she bit her tongue and caught Serena’s gaze cautiously. There was a raw intimacy in that look, in the way Bernie’s bare skin scraped against the wooden floorboards and the way Serena fingers lingered at her clavicle. 

Falling to the ground, Bernie had brought half a dozen colours with her on to the floor. Reaching her hand towards the yellow, she carefully flicked the lid and squeezed a little on to her finger while holding Serena’s gaze. Serena’s blouse was hanging loosely from her shoulders so her collarbones were easily visible as Bernie reached up and allowed her finger to glide across her flesh. Lifting her blouse slowly over her head, the brunette quirked her lips slightly and reached for a different tube before streaking the curve of Bernie’s toned midriff with blood red. 

Time was irrelevant - they could’ve been there for hours but when they stood once again, the world looked like a watercolour. Paint coated their lives - their clothes, their surroundings…themselves. An array of colours filled every dip and swell of their bodies, skin pale against the hue of rich tones. Serena gazed proudly at her masterpiece, every inch of beauty she had worked upon and smiled easily.


	16. presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie's birthday, that is all.

Bernie had spent weeks trying to keep the lid on the fact that her birthday was only three days away, she was determined to make sure that Serena didn’t find out and make a big deal out of it. There were many things that she could deal with to some extent, however being the centre of attention was not one of them, and she knew that Serena wasn’t going to let her off lightly if she found out. She had been bribing effectively the entire hospital with coffee on a daily basis to make sure that they didn’t let slip. 

It had been weeks of preparation to make sure that she didn’t find anything suspicious, and yet somehow she could tell that Serena knew there was something going on. In her mannerisms and the way that she wouldn’t allow Bernie even a moment alone anymore, it was apparent that she had her suspicions. 

“So, who’s coming to Albie’s tonight? First round’s on me.” Serena offered as she crossed the ward, ready to leave, with Raf, Fletch and Morven following after her ducklings. Bernie’s shift didn’t finish for another hour, and it was obvious from the way that she observed them so ardently that she wasn’t happy about that fact. “Join us when you get off if you like, Bern’.”

In the next hour, Serena tried to get as much alcohol into her younger colleagues as she could rationally manage, loosening all of their tongues more than slightly though she knew outright asking would only batten down the hatches further. Morven would be easiest to crack, even sober it wouldn’t have been difficult to get it out of her, but isolating her from the group didn’t seem likely just yet, not until the men had another pint in them at least. 

“Come on boys, you’re slacking!” Serena exclaimed enthusiastically as Bernie walked through the door and walked up to the bar. “Go and get another round in, Dr Digby!”

Morven almost stumbled straight in to Bernie as she approached the bar, not having noticed the trauma surgeon had arrived. She concentrated and forced a wry grin across her face as she waited for the bartender to approach them, her simply giving a nod to infer that she wanted the same again and Bernie asking for a large white wine. 

“Keeping your bearings I hope, Dr Digby. Let’s hope so because you know, Miss Campbell can’t find out with only 48 hours left.” Bernie inferred softly to the easily intimidated woman, knowing that Morven wouldn’t intentionally expose the situation at this point. Serena had spent days trying to get her aside and crack her, believing her to be the weakest link, but the young woman had been steadfast and avoided situations alone with Miss Campbell.

“Bernie!” Fletch bellowed from their booth across the room as her presence became apparent. “Shots for the birthday girl, I think!“ 

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Fletch realised his mistake and swallowed down his dignity and felt Bernie boring daggers into him as she approached from across the pub, with every intent of smacking him across the face. 

“On a work night? My my! It’s not even Friday for goodness sake, she’s still a young heathen at this point - another couple of days until we’re back on a level playing field. Oh, how I have resented these past seven weeks.” Serena contributed casually as she drained her glass with a smile, it was yet to clock that she had just learned the secret. 

“Wait-” Raf interjected sharply. “You knew?!”

“Of course I did, why would you think-Oh!” Serena’s realisation washed over her face as she burst in to hysterics, laughing wildly at the narrowing of Bernie’s eyes and the pursing of her lips. “That was the big secret?! Really?!”

For the next two nights, Bernie avoided the topic of her birthday at all costs and focused on the fact that soon it would be over and there would be nothing left for her to worry about. Serena kept quiet, respecting Bernie’s decision to pretend it wasn’t happening in lieu of the fact that her own preparations for the day were quite the opposite of discrete. That being said, she had done her best to let Bernie think she was making no big deal, so she couldn’t ruminate too much. 

“Happy Birthday my darling.” Serena whispered softly in to the early morning air as she rolled over in bed. “Rise and shine!”

Bernie grumbled into her pillow, wanting desperately for it to be any other day of the year while knowing that she was going to have to get up, and that there was no way around it. Turning over, she faced Serena and opened her eyes to look at her girlfriend with a weak smile. It was going to be a long day. 

The morning went rather quickly with Serena disclosing that they were going out for drinks later and she would receive her present then, another thing for Bernie to worry about all day long. The day dragged painfully, with Bernie awkwardly grinning at those who wished her a good day and exhaling relievedly every time she passed someone who didn’t say a thing. Over the course of the day, she did everything in her power to stay out of the limelight and made sure Serena knew just how much she resented this day. 

“Come on! Albies - we’re keeping it lowkey because we all know you won’t stop complaining if we take you somewhere nicer. Stop moaning and celebrate!” Serena exclaimed as she dragged the birthday girl across the street and in to the pub where everyone gave shrieked an enthused welcome to her as she walked through the door. “Put on a brave face for them, please. We’ll get out of here soon.”

Bernie had drink after drink placed in front of her, and she drank them all down in the hope that alcohol would make her situation a little easier to handle, right now she was struggling not to scream at the next person who asked if she was having a good day. As Serena reached in to her handbag, she brandished a small wrapped square and handed it over to Bernie, who hesitantly took the gift and carefully opened a corner of it. 

“Serena!” Bernie exclaimed, astonished as she took her lip between her teeth and looked down at the gift - a signed copy of the Arrival LP - which seemed humorous, somewhat unimportant to most but to her it meant the world. She smiled broadly as extended a hand and brushed Serena’s cheek in gratitude as she leant across and kissed her tenderly. “Thank you.”

“I spent ages trying to think what I should get you, there were a dozen things that I could’ve bought that were practical and that you would have appreciated. But nothing compares, does it…ABBA are the only thing other than cats that you care about.” Serena pointed out warmly, smiling as she saw just how happy the gift had made her girlfriend.

Bobby dropped some coins in to the jukebox and selected an ABBA track, watching the scene as Bernie stood up and pulled Serena to dance with her. The two capered across the room gleefully as strangers and friends alike bumbled around them. 

As the song ended, Bernie laughed, ambling drunkenly towards her seat before slamming in to Sacha with a full pint glass that fell out of his hand and spilled straight down the front of Bernie’s starch white blouse. Next year, they were staying in.


	17. quiz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ward wars pub quiz @ Albies

“Come on Bernie! Pretty please? You know you want to protect the reputation of AAU!“ Serena angled, unforgiving in her persuasion of Bernie. It had been three weeks of listening to her go on and on about how important the annual pub quiz was, especially for the reigning champions of the last five years. Bernie had not been even mildly interested - over the years she had learned to avoid sport, as well as all other means of competition in order to protect her dignity. 

“I really don’t, Serena. Like, there is nothing I would rather not be doing right now.” Bernie responded as she pulled her coat around herself and grabbed her handbag from on top of the desk. “Call me when you need a lift home, and have a good night without me!“

“Just come for a few minutes - you don’t have to stay if you don’t like but just come over and I’ll get you a glass of wine.” Serena pleaded, standing in her girlfriend’s way as she tried to leave the office and grinning wildly as she saw Bernie’s resilience quiver. “10 minutes, then you can leave if you want to - alright?”

“Fine, you’ve been going on about it for so long that I’m willing to give in just so you’ll stop talking!” Bernie exclaimed, huffing exhaustively as the women exited and headed across the ward towards the lift. “I can’t believe you’re dragging me in to this, casual competition isn’t exactly my forte, Serena.”

“Nothing casual about this, Bernie. We take this very seriously, and I mean very seriously.” Serena’s words lingered in Bernie’s mind as they travelled down in the lift, and as they walked across to Albies in silence. Entering the pub, there was a tense atmosphere as Serena stalked through the busy room straight towards the first booth, in which sat Raf, Fletch and Morven. “All ready to win again, team?”

Bernie edged on to the seat and kept her head down as they gossiped wildly, her head raising to the sound of the bartender calling for everybody’s attention. Swallowing down her anxieties, she slid a fiver across the table to Raf and grinned with pleading in her eyes; he rolled his eyes before standing up and heading across to the bar to order her a white wine. He returned a minute later with her glass in one hand, and her change in the other. 

“Question one - everybody listening!” The bartender began, looking across the room with a sense of seriousness in his eyes. “Bananarama got to number three in the UK charts in September 1987 with what single?”

“Love In The First Degree!” Bernie hissed eagerly at Serena, who’s hand snapped up immediately and gave Bobby their answer, gaining them their first point of the night. Serena pursed her lips smugly as she knew that Bernie was the asset they had been looking for, focusing as the next question was asked and her hand whipped up straight away to give a response. Over the night, they gained a strong lead with Darwin five points behind them and Keller falling off in to the distance as Ric got tired of losing and left early. 

“Guys, we need to get it together. We can’t let them win now, we’ve been leading all night and if we fall at the last hurdle - we’ll never live it down!” Bernie exclaimed, giving in to her instincts and furrowing her eyebrows.“Answers go through Serena because we cannot put a foot wrong now. Okay?”

Swallowing down their smirks, everyone around the table eyed the question sheet as they listened to Bobby spiel a question about Arsenal FC that went straight over the women’s heads. Fletch blurted out an answer without even consulting the rest of the team, grinning broadly as he was confirmed right. Bernie swallowed down her pride, instead grinning at Fletch for getting them the so desperately needed point. 

“This is the last question of the night folks, and it’s worth five points, so it’s anybody’s game at this point!” The burly gent’ stated, building up the suspense. “So, finish the lyric - What a crazy day, when I kissed the teacher?”

Bernie’s hand shot up enthusiastically as she almost yelled the answer - All my sense had flown away when I kissed the teacher - and Serena beamed as they won, once again, which gave them full bragging rights for yet another year. Serena leant over and kissed Bernie dramatically to express her gratitude and admiration for the blonde, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks as she realised all eyes were on them right now. Whispering hotly in to Bernie’s ear, Serena promised her a winner’s celebration when they got home and watched a flush creep up the column of her girlfriend’s neck and stain her cheeks.

Across from them, Darwin’s team could be seen grumbling in annoyance at the loss with Jac shooting an icy glare towards Ollie, who throughout the evening had proved to have a somewhat lacklustre knowledge. Mo gave a kindhearted nod to the winners from across the room, emphasising that they had performed well and that, once Jac had accepted and processed the loss, Darwin would concede to an honourable defeat. AAU would always be the strongest contender across the board in the ward wars, never failing to obtain a close second in the few fields in which Darwin dominated and leave Keller in the dust regardless. 

‘’A free round for the reigning champions!” Bobby called as the five of them stood up and made their way to the bar with grins on their faces, Morven still smug about the fact that she had beaten all pf her old colleagues from Keller. “Same as usual?”

“I think I’ll have a whiskey, treat myself for enduring that stress!” Bernie interjected as she looked across at Serena with adoring eyes. “Is there anything I won’t do to keep you happy?”

“I doubt it.” Serena smirked as she wound her arm around the blonde’s waist and nestled in to her shoulder lovingly, ignoring the whispers coming from Raf and Fletch behind them. “I’ll make it up to you later, don’t worry.” 

Suffice to say that Bernie wouldn’t hesitate to engage in the ward wars if this was the treatment she got when she helped out.


	18. rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this turned out a lot more angsty than i initially intended // SORRY IVE BEEN GONE SO LONG BUT I WENT TO ELSTREE AND IT WAS AMAZING AND I MET ALL THE BABES

It was finally cooling down, for the first time in days, and while many were relieved to see the back of the heatwave that had been holding down the entire city for almost a week, it couldn’t be denied that the rain was inconvenient. Everyone was dressed for the hottest summer they’d ever experienced and there wasn’t a jacket in sight. In true Bernie fashion, the blonde had decided that driving was a waste of such great weather so instead chose to walk the entire forty minutes to and from work that week. Serena - simply because her car’s air conditioning system was terrible - followed suit. 

After an eleven hour shift with the weather progressively cooling down over the course of the day, both women felt utterly enthused to be heading home. 

“You still coming over for pasta tonight?” Serena questioned casually as she grabbed her handbag from beside her desk and stood, awaiting Bernie’s response. 

“Have I ever missed it? I think at this point, Jason would assume I’d been murdered if I didn’t come over every Tuesday night!” Bernie replied, smiling as she shoved her phone and keys in to her pocket. “It’ll be a nice walk in this cool weather, certainly a change after the past week to say the least.”

“You know you’re not obligated, right? I know I’ve always told you that flitting in and out of Jason’s life is messy and difficult but you aren’t obligated to maintain his routine, not in the same way I am. Do let me know if you want out, okay?” Serena’s tone was light as they travelled down in the lift, still somewhat stuffy with the residual heat. 

Bernie arched an eyebrow as though she was a little surprised that Serena would even suggest such a thing, allowing her lip to curl slightly as she gave a reassuring nod. 

As they passed through the bustling cafe, the two women eagerly crossed to the door and walked out in to the cool breeze that now brushed against still-warm pavement. It was almost a ghost town as they passed through the car park and out on to the main street, walking casually and chatting as they went. Above them, there were dark clouds that neither of them had paid any attention to and it was with only a moment’s notice that the heavens opened and what felt like five days’ worth of rain started to come down upon them at once. 

“BERNIE!” Serena yelled as she already started to feel her hair cling to the sides of her face with the heavy rain plummeting forcefully against her exposed flesh. “HELP!”

“What do you want me to do, Miss Campbell?! You’re the organised one!“ Bernie retorted jokingly, trying to make light of a dreadful situation. After a minute of shuffling around in her handbag eagerly, Serena brandished an umbrella and forced it up, holding down the edge so that it didn’t turn up against the wind and offering Bernie a small portion of the shelter. “Ever equipped, Serena, ever equipped.”

Walking briskly back through the streets of Holby towards Serena’s house, Bernie kept her arm wrapped snugly around Serena’s midriff as she held the both of them tightly together beneath the inconveniently tiny umbrella. Serena was tucked snugly under Bernie’s arm, hobbling awkwardly so she could maintain her pace while remaining upright. When they turned on to the familiar road, both women quickened their pace further as they hurried up the gravel driveway and almost fell through the door in their desperation to get inside. 

“You two are soaked! Why didn’t you drive home? It was really quite a stupid idea, if you ask me.” Jason exclaimed as he walked through the hallway, noticing the state of the pair as they fell against the wall and dripped rainwater all over the perfectly dry interior of the house. “If I were you, I’d go and get changed before either of you gets hypothermia.”

“Yes, you’re right. We’ll be back down soon to start dinner, Jason!” Bernie exclaimed as she forced her own shoes off her feet and guided Serena towards the stairs by her waist. “Up we go, Miss Campbell!”

Bernie rushed ahead to the bedroom, yanking off the tank top which clung to her figure and grabbing a fresh towel from on top of the linens basket without pausing to ask. Serena followed close behind; reaching for her fluffy dressing gown and wrapping it around herself on top of her clothes and walking to sit at the edge of the bed, shaking. The blonde grabbed a second towel before pacing over to the bed and placing it down beside Serena. 

“I have never been so cold in my entire life.” Serena stated simply, staring vaguely in front of her and her entire body quivered with the cold. 

“You need to get these clothes off, Jason’s right. You need to get dry.” Bernie offered rationally, reaching slowly to nudge the dressing gown off Serena’s shoulder and exposing the reddened flesh there. “Do you want me to do it?”

Serena gave a vacant nod and lifted her arms weakly as Bernie lifted the dripping garment over her head, biting her tongue at the laboured breathing of the brunette as her icy fingertips skated over her bare skin. Reaching around the back of her, Bernie unlatched her bra and quickly wrapped the warm towel around Serena. Standing up, the blonde headed across to the wardrobe and grabbed a random jumper and pair of lounge pants before throwing them to land gracefully beside a still-silent Serena. 

“Get yourself sorted out, I can’t let you get sick either.” Serena offered softly as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Bernie rolled her eyes at the selflessness of Serena but nevertheless, grabbed some clothes for herself and quickly changed. Even as they headed downstairs, Bernie couldn’t ignore the goosebumps that had settled on the back of Serena’s neck where her damp hair clung to her skin. Outside, the rain still thudded against the windows.


	19. sunburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> light hearted humour

“Bernie, where are you taking me?” Serena asked for the fifth time in the past half hour, insistent and curious. “What’s this in aid of?“

“Can’t a woman take her girlfriend out without being interrogated? You’d think I was trying to take you on holiday all over again!” Bernie exclaimed sarcastically as they continued to drive through country roads that were so windy it might have been a little nauseating. “Trust me!”

“With my life- that doesn’t mean I can be sure of the fact you’ll have remembered everything we might need!” Serena replied, rolling her eyes as she fell back against the car’s seat and biting her tongue. 

It was only ten minutes later that Bernie turned off the road in to a small field and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Serena’s face had never looked so shocked, and she had certainly never been speechless before this point. In that moment, it was difficult to decipher whether she was about to yell or cry or both - but right then it was neither. 

“Tell me you remembered to bring a blanket.” The brunette’s tone was desperate as though she could sense there was going to be something wrong and she just wanted to figure out what it was as soon as possible so that it could be resolved, of course in Bernie’s mind, there was nothing that could possibly go wrong. 

“I’ve got everything - stop panicking. I’ve got food and drinks, and a blanket, and sun lotion and anti-bac and plasters and bug spray- just in case.” Bernie’s words were far more calm, settled, and it was odd to see Bernie so well organised in anything at all. Serena was the one who did the planning, Bernie just turned up at the minute and came along for the ride. “If anything goes wrong today, then I will never surprise you ever again, I promise!”

As they set out the blanket and placed down the Tupperware around them, Bernie passed the bottle of sun lotion over in the knowledge that Serena had the pasty complexion of most middle-class British women. Serena arched an eyebrow expectantly, looking across at the blonde with impatient eyes. 

“I don’t need sun lotion - I’ve never burned a day in my life.” Serena offered calmly as she dropped the bottle down beside her and moved to cross her legs. 

“Well, if you want to keep it that way then I would suggest you let me have my way, it’s hot today and it’s supposed to get hotter.” Bernie responded, trying to persuade her girlfriend that it was a bad idea to risk it. Lathering her own bare shoulders with the cream, she looked over at Serena pleadingly only to be met with a shaking head. 

Their afternoon was pleasantly long - they ate and talked and sat around for hours before deciding it was time to pack up and head home. Over the course of the day, the sun had been getting progressively hotter and by the time they were ready to leave, it was easily over thirty was a rarity even in the height of a British summer. It was only as they walked back to the car that Bernie noticed the redness on her girlfriend’s back and scoffed aloud at her. 

“What’s funny?” Serena asked as she whipped around to look at a smirking Bernie. 

“Your back is burnt to a crisp.” Bernie held down her laughter as she dropped the bags in to the car boot and made her way around to the driver’s side, jumping in to drive them home. “This is what happens when you don’t listen to me.”

“I don’t believe you-” Serena began as she reached around to rub her shoulder, only to hiss at the harsh contact on her newly tendered skin. “Do we have aftersun?”

“Conveniently no, I didn’t think of that because I thought we were both rational human beings that were willing to take precautions.” Bernie retorted sarcastically as she revved the ignition and pulled away. “There might be some in the bathroom cupboards but who knows.”

The journey home largely consisted of Serena trying to look at her back and shoulders in the visor’s mirror and Bernie holding in her shrewd comments on the situation. There was no way that she was going to be offering up any sympathy at all, Serena had brought this upon herself and there wasn’t any which way that she was going to get a mere glance of pity from Bernie. 

When the pair returned home, Jason was the first to make profound comment on the state of his auntie’s shoulders and Bernie certainly wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that he ought to be more considerate. Much to Serena’s dismay, there was no aftersun in the cupboards upstairs so she had to brave the outdoors once again in order to walk to the shop around the corner and buy some. It wasn’t as though she could really palm off the blame on anyone else, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try. 

“You know you’re to blame, right? If you hadn’t taken me on that bloody surprise picnic, I never would’ve gotten burnt at all!” Serena exclaimed as the two settled in bed that night, her still complaining about how sore and uncomfortable back was in every silent moment. 

“And if you’d listened to anything I’d said and put some suncream on, you also would never have gotten burnt. Don’t try and pin this on me when you know full well it’s your doing and nobody else’s!” Bernie’s embittered tone filled the room as she rolled over to face away from her as she left Serena to wallow in her own self-pity. Serena shifted to rest her arm around Bernie’s waist and snuggled up against the back of her, she may be acting childishly and trying to be stubborn about the fact that it wasn’t her fault, but all Serena wanted was some contact comfort. 

Bernie rolled her eyes as she shuffled back and nestled herself against Serena, silently forgiving her stubborn nature.


	20. take a chance on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> concept credit goes straight to Gina [@berniewolfes on Twitter] and development goes to Leah [@redgravejemma] and Amy [@bernieswolfe] - this was a product of the group chat in general, this is what every headcanon is founded upon, so if I've screwed this up, I will probably be cast out for it.

It had been a long shift, a dull one, and nothing sounded more enticing than getting extremely drunk in order to celebrate their day off. Bernie and Serena headed over to Albies at just after five, and they were there for a good few hours before either of them even started to wobble. A number of the staff - Dom, Zosia and a number of the nurses - had all turned up with intent to celebrate the arrival of the new karaoke machine to the bar…and to break it in.

“Another, Miss Campbell?” Bernie offered enthusiastically as she hailed the bartender and asked for another round. Across the room, Dom was singing karaoke once again and a crowd of young interns watched in awe while Bernie and Serena observed more casually from a distance. “Maybe I should have a go, give Dr Copeland a run for his money.”

“Maybe you should.” Serena replied jokingly, draining her wine glass as a freshly filled one was placed in front of her. Looking sidewards, she found Bernie’s seat suddenly empty and scanned the room to find Bernie stood close beside the karaoke machine, waiting for the song to finish. “BERNIE!”

The blonde glanced over at her, grinning mischievously as she took the mic from Dom and reached over to pick a song. Serena’s eyes widened as the opening chords played out in to the bustling pub and drew the attention of a few absent-minded punters. Serena had fear in her eyes as she watched Bernie clear her throat and put on her game face as she started to sing.

“If you change your mind, I’m the first in line…”

Dom had returned to his seat beside Zosia and was watching the scene with a wide grin across his face, holding down laughter as Bernie kept her eyes focused on an embarrassed Serena. The two weren’t ‘official’ and it wasn’t exactly certain to anyone whether they were friends or more than at this point, but Dom had undoubtable faith in the fact that they soon would be even if they weren’t yet. 

In a split second, Bernie hoisted herself on to the bar and started to strut towards Serena with the microphone in her hand, belting out the classic tune enthusiastically. Serena was hiding behind her wine glass, looking up through her eyelashes as she tried to defer attention from herself though her failure was unparalleled. Bernie paused in front of her, squatting down to take the glass from Serena and take a gulp before proceeding to sing the next verse. 

“Bernie, get down!” Serena hissed as she tried to ignore all of the eyes that were glued to the pair of them, swallowing down her unease and shaking her head in dismay. In her drunken state, Bernie seemed more than mildly proud of her performance and was thriving on the attention, though at the sight of an F1’s phone capturing the entire charade, Serena couldn’t help but smirk at the idea of Bernie’s shame in the morning. 

“But I think you know, that I can’t let go…”

Serena was watching from behind her own hands, glancing every few seconds before seeing Bernie hop off the bar and onto the floor without a moment’s thought. Without thinking, Serena shot up to see if she was alright, only to find that all those years of army training had obviously given her undeniably good balance. Bernie continued to dance along with the music, flapping about in typical seventies’ fashion and seemed unfazed by the powers of gravity working against her in her inebriated state. Rolling her eyes, the brunette settled back upon her seat, Bernie came close to her and sang directly in her face. Whispering a line of the song into Serena’s ear, Bernie left the punters hanging before Serena took the microphone from where it had fallen in her lap and finished the verse before shoving it back in Bernie’s face. 

Everyone cheered when Serena sang - if there was one thing in the world that she could do better than Bernie, it was singing. There was a blush across Serena’s cheeks and it was unapparent whether the flush was a result of the affections of the onlookers, or of Bernie. Bernie cupped the brunette’s reddened cheeks as she proceeded to sing the last verse, serenading Serena quite plainly. Serena smirked, glaring at Bernie and trying to hold a straight face until the music came to an end. 

Dom cheered keenly, clapping as he and Zosia laughed merrily at the glorious performance. The rest of the pub seemed impressed with the performance, most of them having been somewhat familiar with Bernie beforehand, while Serena was less than thrilled in the knowledge that somehow she would end up accountable for the evening’s events when Bernie sobered up. 

“Who wants another?!” It had become quickly apparent just how drunk Bernie was - she was many things but never the centre of attention and Serena knew that she would be blamed in the morning if Bernie woke to find she was the talk of the hospital again. Dom egged her on incessantly, even offering a duet if she fancied it, and Bernie seemed quite enthused by the idea but was stopped in her tracks by Serena. 

“Bernie, come on. Let’s get you home, ey?” Serena suggested as she took Bernie by the arm, prising the microphone from her hand and placing it on the bar before guiding her towards the door. 

“Aye aye, home it is.“ Bernie replied lightheartedly, giggling to herself as they made their way outside to find a cab. “Were you entertained, Miss Campbell?”

“Quite, Miss Wolfe. I didn’t see ABBA as your go-to, and I didn’t see karaoke as a flirtation technique either!” Serena joked humbly as they got in to the back of a taxi and headed back to Serena’s house. 

“Flirting, Serena? Would I ever?!” Bernie scoffed drunkenly as she continued to laugh along, somewhat delirious. Under her breath, she started to sing ABBA again, this time Waterloo and Serena simply apologised to the taxi driver and rolled her eyes. It was difficult to pretend that she didn’t find the performance absolutely hilarious - Bernie was many things but a singer she was not - so Serena just kept her head down and forced her laughter back down inside of her as the blonde crooned lowly.

Even as they arrived back at the house and went inside, Bernie continued to sing aloud. Serena turned to face her with an expectant look, and was met with Bernie’s challenging eyes as she continued to hum Take A Chance softly. Impulsively, Serena leant in and kissed her promptly, if only to get her to stop singing, and felt Bernie’s lips curl against her own. Take A Chance On Me indeed.


	21. upbringing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not sure how i feel about this one, it was kind of a reach but i wanted to do something about the pair of them discussing their parents.

It was Mothers’ Day, and while neither Bernie nor Serena would often even think about it, Jason had made space in his routine to go to the cemetery and visit his Mother’s grave. It was unsurprising that he had wavered in his routine for her - from what Serena had been told over the years, Jason and she had been very close in the time that she was alive. Bernie had been at work, she hadn’t been around all day to support Serena through what was likely to be a difficult day, she wasn’t there to help answer the awkward questions and she felt a little guilty for it. 

“Cup of tea?” Bernie offered, poking her head through to the living room as the kettle boiled. 

“Please.” Serena answered easily with a smile, standing up from the couch and making her way through to the kitchen to stand with Bernie as the tea brewed in the cups. “How was your day?”

“Anti-climactic, nothing of importance. Yours?” Bernie questioned softly, knowing it wasn’t going to be the easiest subject to breach yet feeling determined to find out what had gone on while she was out of the house. 

“I’ll explain once we’ve sat down.” Serena suggested, passing Bernie the milk from the fridge and leaving her hand outstretched to take it back once she had dropped a dash in to each of the mugs. “Outside?”

The two women stepped outside in to the back garden and took a side, close beside each other on the wooden bench that had become their natural place of settlement when it came to serious conversations. Bernie sipped from her mug as she looked expectantly across at her girlfriend. 

“How was the cemetery then?”

“It was certainly interesting, to see Jason like that. You never really see him being particularly emotional, side effect of the Asbergers, I expect. But to see him upset, reminiscent like that was strange…I didn’t know what to do with myself. He was there trying to have a sentimental conversation with my dead sister and I had nothing to contribute. Mothers’ Day hasn’t been easy for me over the past few years, you know that but this felt different. Maybe it’s because there’s so much I would have told her if my mother was still alive - it feels like she’s missed out on so much more than usual this year.” Serena explained, sipping her tea casually as she looked down the garden vacantly. “I’ve got so many questions for her now - questions that I never would’ve thought to ask before.”

“About us?“ Bernie’s tone was calm as she spoke, reaching to rest her hand upon Serena’s thigh gently. “I’m assuming you never-”

“There was no reason to. I was straight, entirely, without question, so it never came up in conversation. It is so uncomfortable to be in a same-sex relationship and not know if your own parents would approve of it - it feels like I never knew her at all just because I didn’t know this one thing, but all of a sudden it feels like a fundamental topic of discussion.” Serena admitted, turning to face Bernie easily. “I don’t know where she stood because I honestly don’t remember ever hearing her say anything on the topic in my entire life, I was raised in the years where you either agreed or you didn’t and either way, you kept it to yourself. I’d like to think she would have supported me, but I don’t know for certain and I never will.” 

“I know how you feel, I always wondered whether my Dad would’ve agreed with my sexuality.” Bernie empathised, knowing what Serena was going through and understanding that leaving it so long had only made things worse. ”He died when I was so young that I had no idea what I did and didn’t like, and of course I asked my mother in hindsight and she told me that he would’ve wanted me to make my own decisions, but I would’ve liked to have heard it from him. The people who raise us, it feels strange to do something and have no idea whether they would be proud or ashamed of you for it.” 

“Ey! There are a lot of things that we don’t know about our parents, things that we never got to ask them - but there is one thing that I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, without ever even meeting your father, and that-? He could never be ashamed of you in a million years. He died fighting for his country, and you followed in his footsteps and took yourself to the front line in order to help anyone and everyone who needed you. He would be so proud of you - no matter who you decided to love, there is not a way in the world that he could ever be ashamed of you.” Serena soothed, knowing the struggle that Bernie had faced all through her life and recognising that in some sense it was a privilege to only just be facing it now, at this mature age. “Your father was a soldier, and a family man, and a man who showed his love through protection, and he raised you to be the same. And maintaining those parts of him, making sure you carry that legacy with you, would be more important by tenfold than whether you loved who he expected you to.”

“I think you’ve just answered your own question. Your mother raised you to be a lot of things - strong, independent, honest - but not once in all those years of teaching you what type of a person to be, did she teach you to be straight. She knew what was important, the same way you do, and you know just as well as I that there would be more important conversation than whether you liked men or women.” Bernie reassured, looking back towards the house and seeing Jason watching the two of them from the kitchen window. “They’re in the past - I think we both need to stop worrying about their acceptance and move on.” 

Serena smiled as she leaned over to rest her head against Bernie’s shoulder, feeling the blonde’s lips press against her temple softly.


	22. vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedding fluff

Serena was shaking, legs like jelly and she felt almost certain that she was going to trip over walking down the aisle. She had never felt this nervous, certainly not in marrying Edward, but Jason’s presence was somewhat reassuring. Her gown was a simple ivory piece - it had taken a great deal of persuasion to get her in to a dress at all but over months of wearing her down, Elinor had persuaded her that it was only right to do the big white wedding this time around. She looked pretty as a picture, there was no denying that it was the best she’d looked in years, and everyone had been telling her about it all day. 

“It’s time, Auntie Serena.” Jason stated calmly, offering his arm as she stepped up beside him and took a deep breath. By some miracle, the pair managed to get down the aisle without stumbling and Serena was delivered in pristine condition to her fiancée. 

“We are gathered here today…” Bernie wasn’t listening to a word the vicar said, she was too busy looking across at Serena in awe of how stunning she looked, just right in that moment. It was hard to believe that she had ever believed in the existence of perfection before that moment - looking across at the woman who was about to become her wife, it was simply unparalleled. “And now, vows have been prepared.”

“Serena, you are the person I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I never thought that I’d find someone who understood me quite as well as you but from day one, we always kind of worked. I can’t pinpoint a moment when I realised we were more than friends because I think I loved you from day one, then one day I looked at you and just knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, in any and every capacity that you had to offer. You’re my best friend - have been since the day we met - and it is such a privilege to share my life, and home, and heart, with the person who means the most to me. I cannot promise you much but I can promise you my heart, until the day that it stops beating, because while I have control of my body and my words and my actions - it would seem my heart has its own ideas and it has grown quite attached to you. I will love you, without reservation, and I will spend every waking moment fighting for your happiness because there is nothing I value more on this Earth.”

Bernie had lost herself in Serena’s eyes as she spoke, there was nothing in her mind apart from her at that moment, and the teary eyed guests were not even clocked as she exhaled a shaky breath. 

“Bernie - I know the second that I realised I loved you, it was when I realised that you’d let me win that arm wrestle to make me feel strong on a day when I really needed that. I fell in love with your kind heart, and your generosity, and the way you loved me. Love scares me, never been afraid to admit that love is probably one of my biggest fears, but with you I feel safe. I’ve seen you hold a heart in your hands and I’ve seen how comfortable, how confident you are and that’s why I feel that I can trust you to hold mine. You help me see the best parts of myself, and you’re not afraid to tell me when I’m showing off the worst - you help me to be a better person and you’ve taught me to love myself as well as you. I promise that I’ll love you until the day I die, and I promise that I’ll let you love me.”

Both women had tears clouding their vision as the vicar proceeded to recite the words as they exchanged rings. The rest of the ceremony was a blur, Serena was pleased that the entire thing was being filmed or she felt at least a little certain that she would be unable to recall large portions of her memories of the day. It was overwhelming, amazingly so, and as the two of them walked back down in the aisle hand in hand, all she could do was smile so wide it hurt her face. 

The pair of them headed straight over to the reception with the rest of the wedding party following close behind them in their own cars - Bernie wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, she had let Serena loose on organisation since it wasn’t something that particularly interested her and she knew how much it meant to her wife that the day went perfectly. As the two of them walked in to the beautifully decorated function room, Bernie couldn’t help but let a tear roll down her cheek at the sight of it. 

“It’s beautiful, Serena. I love you.” She uttered softly as they made their way across to the top table and seated themselves, ready for the meal. 

As the room filled with familiar faces, it felt strange to both of them that they were married - present tense - and that the wedding was over and done with and all that was left was to spend the rest of their lives together. Sat around the top table with them was Cameron, Charlotte, Elinor and Jason, all with unwavering support for the newly weds amongst happy emotions. It had been difficult to decide who was going to make the speeches - traditionally it would have been none of the kids but there was nothing traditional about the entire marriage so that wasn’t a concern - and even throughout the delightfully fancy meal, they continued to argue over the running order of their speeches with Cameron eventually giving in and agreeing to go first. 

“Hello everyone, thank you for coming and sharing this day with all of us! I don’t know quite know how I landed this position today but Mum somehow decided that I was the most capable of making a speech about her, so here I am! I should probably embarrass her, but I can’t really think of anything right now, so when I’ve had a few drinks you can all ask me then! When I was younger and Mum was going off to Afghanistan - I used to get scared, that she’d be lonely out there, that she wouldn’t have anyone to cuddle her when the thunder got too loud or when she missed me and Char - and then I grew up, and I realised she was strong enough to deal with that, as long as she had something to come home to. When we were older, and they told us they were getting divorced - I got scared that she wasn’t going to be okay anymore, nor was my Dad, because I’d always balanced everything against them having someone to come home to at the end of the day - and the divorce happened, and they coped, and they were fine. Then Serena came in to her life, and not long afterwards into mine, and I saw the same look in her eye that I’d seen when she used to get scared about leaving me and Charlotte to go away, and I got scared that she wasn’t going to be okay because she didn’t have anyone to come home to. 

My mother is the strongest, most courageous woman I’ve ever known and I love her so much that I never want to see her hurt. Now, I know that she’s more than capable of looking after herself but I don’t ever want to see her have to - and after everything she’s been through over the years, everything I’ve watched her go through,I can honestly say that I feel Serena deserves her. I never thought I’d be happy seeing my Mum with anyone apart from my Dad, but they weren’t meant for each other - in their youth, before children and work and life got in the way, they did - and I learned to accept that maybe she could find happiness with someone else. The way my mother looks at Serena, and the way Serena looks at her…I’d like that for myself one day, I’d like to find someone who means so much to me that I look at them and feel like I’m watching the entire universe come to settle before my eyes. I love my Mum, more than anything in this world, and I want her happy - and I believe that Serena can give her that, so I’d like to wish them both every happiness and propose a toast - to Bernie and Serena!” 

Bernie grinned broadly as her son returned to his seat and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek and quietly uttering her gratitude for his beautiful speech. Her attention was drawn from her son as she lifted her head to see Raf approaching the top table with notecards in his hand, and smiling she settled back in her chair to listen to his words. 

“Hi everyone, if you don’t know me I’m Raf - Mr DiLucca, dogsbody and slave to these two wonderful women in the name of lawful employment. I can honestly say that I saw this coming a mile off, I won’t pretend that I had any doubts because Fletch’ll tell you that my wallet is certain as anything. From seeing Ms Wolfe and Ms Campbell working together for the first time, it was pretty obvious to everybody that it was going to go one of two ways - they were either going to hate each other and our working lives were never going to be the same again, or they were going to get on so obscenely well that we couldn’t cope with how infatuated they were. Every staff member on AAU will tell you that we are utterly thrilled it turned out to be the latter, not only because they seem to diffuse each others’ tempers quite effectively, but because the team just wouldn’t be the same if either one of them was to leave.

I’ve known Ms Campbell for almost three years, and I’d like to think that we’ve developed quite a good friendship over those years, and I can tell you that they have not been easy for either party involved. Life on AAU isn’t the easy ride that the other wards will try and tell you it is, and I’ve watched Serena go through a hell of a lot to get to where she is. I’ve seen her go through months of barely going home because all that mattered to her was work, and I’ve seen her go through enough bottles of Shiraz to make even the bar staff quiver. Serena Campbell has a very steadfast personality, you don’t ever see her waver from her basic foundations of good will and determination, but as soon as Ms Wolfe arrived on our ward - it was undeniable that she sparked something in Serena, she changed her in to a person that was a little difficult to recognise. But I’ve never seen her so happy, and I’ve never seen someone grow and develop as much as I’ve seen Bernie change over the months since she came to us on AAU. I’m proud to call them both my colleagues, and my friends, and I wish them every happiness. To the Bonnie and Clyde of AAU, to the pair who straightened out Adrian Fletcher, to the dream team!” 

Serena laughed aloud at Raf’s toast, grinning widely as she lifted her glass of Shiraz and took a sip from it. Feeling Bernie’s fingers laced between hers in between their empty plates, she bit her lip and blinked away the tears in her eyes as her own daughter stood up to speak. 

“When my Mum told me she was getting married, I was shocked. When she told me she was marrying a woman, I was gobsmacked. There were many emotions that I felt in that moment, most of which revolved closely around confusion and surprise. It feels strange to suddenly be informed that your Mum likes women, and I don’t think I could see her with any other woman which made me question whether she really was or it was just a one off…but then I thought about and I realised, over time getting to know Bernie and seeing the pair of them together, that I could no longer see her with any other man either. Mum’s been through a lot over the years, not ashamed to say I was the cause of quite a chunk of it, and I thought that somehow she’d managed to maintain some semblance of happiness throughout. I thought I knew my own mother’s happiness, but then I saw her with Bernie in her life and I realised that it was a whole different sort of a thing to find the person who makes you happiest in all the world. 

I’ve put my mother through hell and back over the years, and I’ve never once shown properly my gratitude for every sacrifice she ever made because I never saw how much it cost her but now - seeing her as happy as she is with this woman, I see that only now do I truly know my mother’s happiness. Thank you Mum, for every sacrifice you ever made for me, because truly you deserve the world after everything you’ve done for me. But more than that, thank you Bernie for making my Mum so happy - for showing me this brand new side of her that I never knew I was missing out on, because I am so thrilled to know that she has someone in her life that makes her smile - she deserves it, and so do you. You spend your lives fixing other people, sorting them out and sending them on their way to get on with their lives - and now you’re all sorted, and fixed, and on your way to get on with your lives together. Everyday you are doctors, but today you are women - to Mrs Wolfe and Mrs Campbell!” 

The rest of the evening was a blur of dancing and drinking and hugging everybody in the room at least twice, all of which ended with the pair of the slow dancing to Dusty Springfield, barefoot at twenty past midnight with only Jason and Elinor remaining after Celia having been picked up by her parents earlier in the night and Tom had gone home to check on the dogs. All Bernie could think about was how nothing could get more perfect than this moment.


	23. winter

The cold weather wasn’t something that Bernie largely enjoyed; spending years in the Middle East made for a preference for the humid months. When the snow had started to fall Bernie had wrapped herself up so that she somewhat resembled the Michelin Man, and hurried to the car in the hopes that she would have little need to embrace the weather over the course of her shift. Serena was somewhat more enthralled with the arrival of the winter. She was wearing the same hat that she wore every year, and seemed well prepared for the day ahead. 

Ramming the central heating up all the way, Bernie waited impatiently for Serena to get into the car, her knees to bouncing up and down eagerly. Serena merely rolled her eyes as she slipped in to the passenger seat and shut the door, dropping her mobile into her handbag casually. The roads were freshly salted so, despite Bernie’s somewhat terrifying driving, the two managed to survive the journey to work.

“I don’t know why you complain so much, it’s not like you don’t have a coat!” Serena pointed out as they pulled up in the carpark and slipped out of the car, finding a thin sheet of white covering the tarmac. The hospital looked somewhat picturesque - they’d got the dawn shift so not many people had been in and out to trample the snow globe scene, and it was surprisingly quiet - even by early morning Wednesday standards.

“The only good thing about snow is snowball fights. In all other capacities, it is an inconvenience and a pain in my backside,” Bernie grumbled as she waited for Serena to grab her files from the back seat, rubbing her hands up and down her thighs in an attempt to keep them warm.

“Snowball fights? What are you, five?!” Serena exclaimed, while obscurely leaning down to gather a handful of the freshly fallen flakes and ball them up in her palm. “I’m living with a child, it would seem!”

As she stood up straight, setting her bag on her shoulder, Serena rounded the car and swiftly lobbed the snow at her before hurrying eagerly towards the door. Bernie was hot on her tail, swiping a handful from a low standing wall and tossing it artfully at Serena, hitting her right on target, in the back of the head. The brunette turned on her heel with fire in her eyes as she stooped for a new ball, no rush in her movements as Bernie remained stock still, awaiting her move. There was no warning before Bernie suddenly doubled over momentarily, feeling Serena’s weapon slam into her chest, winding her. With determination for revenge, Bernie launched herself towards Serena at running speed, only to slip on an icy patch and end up flat on her back. 

“AGH!” Bernie yelled as she forced herself in to a sitting position, glaring at a sniggering Serena as the brunette hurried over to help her up. “Not a word.”

Serena lips were pinched together as she desperately tried to hold back her laughter. Hoisting Bernie off the ground, she wrapped an arm around her waist and allowed the blonde to lean heavily into her as they made for the entrance. Walking in to Pulses, the two women were greeted by a wrapped-up Morven, smiling broadly towards them. 

“Everything alright, Ms Campbell?” Morven asked with a confused expression, a steaming cup of coffee held tight between her gloved hands.

“Hmm. Bernie was just saying what a pain the snow can be, and then she went and slipped o-” Serena’s eyes shot wide open and her neck snapped backwards so quickly it looked painful as she loosened her grip on Bernie and scoffed, reaching to shake out the back of her jacket and Morven realised what had happened. “How dare you!”

Bernie staggered at the loss of support, reaching for the wall in a ploy to remain upright, and began to laugh. Morven eagerly backed away from the situation in an attempt to avoid being caught in the crossfire, hurrying off to look busy doing something. Serena outstretched a hand begrudgingly, annoyance still blatant upon her face as she wrapped her arm around Bernie’s waist and guided her towards the lift a little brusquely, though she’d never admit it. As the two of them made their way in to the lift, Bernie leant into Serena’s side, ignoring the way that Serena stiffened beside her in some vague attempt to prove that she wouldn’t be defeated by Bernie’s puppy dog eyes.

As they arrived on the ward Fletch shot a confused look at Serena who simply deadpanned a request for five minutes without any interruptions. Bernie looked over at the nurse with pleading eyes, silently begging not to be left alone with an angry Serena. The pain in her coccyx had yet to subside, a dull and painful throbbing, and she knew it was going to feel sore for the rest of the day, at the very least. As they entered the office, Bernie dropped into her chair and Serena was close behind her, nudging her sideways so that she could reach her back. 

“Serena-” Bernie began before she drew in a sharp breath as she felt pressure against the tender part of her back, straightening up at the touch. 

“I’ll work it out for you when we get home, but are you going to be able to get through today? I know your back isn’t really cut out for any hard hits.” Serena uttered, swallowing down her frustration and prioritising Bernie’s wellbeing, knowing that she could get in her retaliation later.

“It’s fine, Serena, I’m sure I’ll survive. You should change out of that shirt or you’ll get a chill.” Bernie suggested hesitantly. Serena shot her a filthy glare at that. “You can borrow the spare I have in my locker, if you like? It’s the burgundy jumper you keep stealing. I hid it there so you couldn’t get your paws on it.”

Serena’s eyes lit up at that, but she maintained the façade of being irritated to avoid sounding like a child. “Okay, fine.”

“I’ll ask Fletch to go and get us some coffee, shall I?”

Serena got home an hour after Bernie. Watching her shuffle about the ward with a hand on her back and a grimace on her face was just about bearable, but when Serena found Bernie lying upside down on her chair in the office on her break, groaning, she decided she just needed to go home and lie down. Bernie protested, but when Serena told her to stand up and get back to work, and Bernie was physically incapable of getting herself to an upright position after several failed attempts resulting in cries of pain, she conceded.

“I’m home,” Serena called, entering the living room to find Bernie was lying on her front on the sofa in just a bra, a hot water bottle placed on her back, and a melted ice pack on the floor. “Back feeling any better?”

“Mm-hm, much better,” Bernie grumbled unconvincingly as Serena approached with still cool hands from the drive home, carefully placing herself on the arm of the sofa feeling doubtful of Bernie’s claim to health. Serena placed her hands on Bernie’s lower back, applying gentle pressure, and Bernie’s gasp as she tried to push herself away from her girlfriend’s touch told another story. 

“Much better,” Serena retorted, rolling her eyes. “May I?“

“I’m sure it will be fine if I just sleep it off-”

“I don’t know why I asked,” Serena sighed, kicking her shoes off and climbing beside Bernie. She straddled her legs, and began to move her fingers in gentle, soothing motion around Bernie’s back, pressing her fingers into the ridges of her vertebrae. She felt small knots slowly come undone under her touch, and Bernie’s low hum of satisfaction encouraged her actions. Serena lowered her hands to where Bernie had taken the hit, and Bernie’s body became stiff. 

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

“Only a little,” she lied. 

“It’s probably bruised. I’ll try to work out the muscle a bit, but just let me know if it’s getting too much, okay?” Serena heard the doctor in her words, and so did Bernie if the familiar smile on her face was anything to go by. Bernie swallowed thickly as she rested her head on the cushion and melted into the sofa beneath Serena's skilled touch, ignoring the twinges that ran like electric shocks down her spine. Relaxing into the sensation of Serena's digits working her taught flesh, Bernie exhaled.


	24. x-ray

It had been a rush to get out of the house on this particular Thursday morning, for some reason just about everything was working against Serena and Bernie in their attempts to get to work on time. After finally leaving the house - regrettably without any coffee after Bernie had managed to break the coffee machine - not only had there been a monumental traffic jam, but there were roadworks which further diverted them. As they finally pulled in to Serena’s parking spot, the pair of them thought that they were in the clear and might actually just manage to get in at a reasonable time of day. 

Yet in their haste to get upstairs, Bernie forgot her case file and leant back to get it with Serena already reaching to slam the door and as Bernie stepped back hurriedly, the door of the vehicle clamped down on her digits. Gritting her teeth as she bit back a groan, colour draining from her face as Serena’s eyes latched on to the sight and gasped, reaching without hesitation to yank open the door. As she staggered backwards, the blonde stooped and planted herself heavily on the curb with a vacant expression on her face. 

“Bernie-” Serena uttered anxiously, panic rising in her tone. “Bern’, are you alright? Are you okay?!“

The trauma surgeon lifted her head slightly to meet Serena’s gaze, with shock glazing over her eyes as she blinked tears out of her eyes profusely. Looking down at her fingers, she noticed the pallid tone that painted them and observed what little dexterity she had over the almost undoubtedly fractured digits. She sat there for at least a minute, in a stunned silence as she swallowed down her pain and bit her lip harshly. Serena stooped in front of her girlfriend with concern, extended her hand carefully to lift the fragile bones and pursing her lips at the sound of Bernie’s hiss of suffering. 

“We just went from ‘a little tardy’ to ‘unfashionably belated’ in two seconds flat,” Bernie uttered, humour intended though not expressed in her brittle state. 

“You need an x-ray Bern’, it’s almost guaranteed that these are broken. I’m so sorry,” Serena’s words were weak and guilt ridden as she lifted Bernie, by her good hand, up so that they could carefully make their way up to x-ray and get it checked over. “Is there anything I can do? Stupid question, of course there isn’t. Jesus, I’m an idiot.”

“‘Rena, it’s fine! Honestly, as soon as I’ve got some paracetamol down me, I’m sure I’ll be absolutely fine,” Bernie’s breaths were sharp as she hissed out her words and tried to grin, if only to assuage Serena’s guilt. “Let’s go and get this taped up, shall we?”

The amount of confused looks they received as they made their way upstairs, particularly in response to the death-like glare upon Serena’s face whenever they encroached a metre radius. Even Fletch, as he saw them exit the lift, noticed the look on Serena’s face and decided to steer well clear of the impending drama. Without hesitation, the brunette guided Bernie straight past the waiting line of patients in wheelchairs and beds, and walked straight up to the radiographer and brusquely explained the situation before purposefully storming in to the room. 

Unwilling to argue with a temperamental and distressed Serena Campbell, the radiographer took the shots without saying a word and sheepishly handed over the films. Serena snatched them, holding them up to see that there were three almost perfect oblique fracture spanning the distal phalanx of her index finger, her middle finger and proximal of her index. Swallowing down her guilt, Serena shot a downcast look towards Bernie and suggested they go downstairs and let Fletch splint it.

Bernie didn’t care about the injury, she’d endured far worse, but she did not want to spend the next month handcuffed to her desk. It was undeniable that she was frustrated, and Serena would never expect her not to be, but it would take a lot of reassurance to make sure that the brunette wasn’t blaming herself. The journey over to the ward was a little awkward, silent as Serena avoided eye contact and gently led Bernie towards their office, summoning Fletch as she passed him. 

“Everything alright, Ms Wolfe?” Fletch asked lightheartedly as she entered the office, noting the way she was cradling a very swollen right hand and pursed his lips. “Let me go and get a splint, ey? And then you can tell me the very exciting story of how this came to be.”

“I’m so sorry, Bernie,” Serena repeated under her breath as the nurse nipped out of the room momentarily to grab supplies. “I don’t- drinks are on me for the foreseeable future.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Ms Campbell,” The blonde joked, a little humour resonating in her still hoarse tone. Reaching out with her undamaged hand to take Serena’s own reassuringly, showing that she really was fine…for the most part. 

“Now, Ms Wolfe, are you going to be the type of patient we like, or the type that we don’t like?” Fletch teased in an ignominious tone, pulling up the spare seat and setting it adjacent to Bernie, reaching for her right hand and taking it cautiously in his own, beginning to careful wrap the first splint around her index finger. “Which fingers is it?” 

“F1, F2, F3.” Serena interjected as she leant against the edge of the desk concernedly. 

“It’s really quite the funny story, Fletch. We were in a rush to get here because we’d been running late all morning, and in our haste to get out of the car, Serena accidentally shut the door on my fingers. I’d have laughed if it didn’t sting quite so much!” Bernie smirked wryly, nose twitching a little as she bit back a groan of pain. 

“Well congratulations, Serena. You’ll not only be running the trauma unit single handedly but I can imagine the loss of Bernie’s right hand might somewhat impact your sex life.” Fletch swallowed down his laughter, failing to hide the broad grin that graced his cheeks as he saw the shock on the brunette’s face. 

“I’m a surgeon, Fletch, I’m ambidextrous.” 

“You mean you can-” Fletch stumbled over his words awkwardly. “-with your left hand as well?” 

“Are you telling me you’ve only ever used one hand, Fletch? It sounds like you need an education!“ 

“Alright, let’s just focus on the splint, shall we?” Serena interrupted, face crimson from holding back her own giggles before a glorious cacophony of her laughter spilled out, joined by Bernie as they observed the aghast expression upon their colleague’s face. “I definitely owe you a drink now, Bern'.”


	25. yesterday

It had been 12 years since Bernie first arrived at Holby City Hospital, with the intent of getting in and out as quickly as possible. Two months later, she had accepted a locus position, and a month after that, it had been made permanent. Later that year, Bernie fell in love with her colleague and friend Serena and they never looked back. The prospect of leaving had never been something to cross Serena’s mind - after fifteen years of working in the same place, the prospect of leaving always seems a little distant and irrelevant…but now the day was here.

Leaving drinks at Albies - the only send off that felt appropriate - on a Friday night after a 12 hour shift. Everyone was there, even Hanssen had made the effort to turn up. Over the years, people had come and gone so the only originals left were the consultancy team, though Mo had left not soon after she’d had her baby. Looking back at everybody who’d been a part of their life over those years, Serena swallowed down tears at the thought of leaving all of that in her past.

As she glanced across the bar, she allowed her gaze to settle on Raf - _He’s older now, more successful, happier. He’s no longer the young man who laughed with her drunkenly but was still every inch the man who had held her while she mourned her mother_ \- and it reminded her of just how proud she was to have been a part of that. Almost as though he felt her eyes on him, the Scot lifted his eyes to smile at her wryly, he would be sad to see her go - and Bernie too, of course, but especially her. It had been a struggle over the years, not easy for either of them, and they’d found some source of companionship to get them through the hardest of days.

“Another, babe?” Bernie suggested, pulling Serena away from her thoughts for just long enough to give a simple nod. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Serena replied matter-of-factly. “Just feels like the end of an era, doesn’t it. Fifteen years and they’re suddenly gone, in the click of your fingers.”

The brunette felt her wife settle her palm gently over her own and she smiled warmly. Jason was sat across the room with his wife Celia close beside him - he’d moved out almost ten years ago now, only a few houses down the road so that he could remain close to Serena and Bernie, just the way he liked it. So much had changed, from that first drink up until now - years of falling in love over wine glasses and coffee cups - and yet it felt as though it had all happened in the blink of an eye.

“Ms Campbell, Ms Wolfe.” Hanssen began as he approached the pair of them calmly. “I know sentimentality is not in my nature, so I will simply say that you will be missed, deeply, by staff and patient alike. And I wish you the best of happiness in your retirement.”

“Thank you Henrik.“ Bernie replied softly, smiling broadly as she ordered him an Old Fashioned. _Henrik Hanssen_. Serena pondered. _Seemingly indifferent to just about everything, yet behind the image of efficiency-driven and emotionally stunted, there was a man who cared. It was the man who had come back at a moment’s notice when he thought the hospital’s future was in jeopardy, the man who had done the same once again after Guy Self endangered working life as they knew it. It was the man who had led her towards the love of her life, even without meaning to._

Serena took a sip from her glass of Shiraz, allowing the familiar taste to linger on her lips. Peeking over the rim of her glass, the brunette met her love’s eyes and pursed her lips tightly.

“One of us is going to have to say a few words, would you rather I-?” Bernie offered easily, drawing in a breath.

“No, I-I think I’d like to.” Serena replied confidently, taking a swig from her glass. Bernie nodded in agreement, eyes bright as she looked across at her wife with adoration. Allowing her hand to fall from where it rested on top of Serena’s as the brunette stood up and drew the attention of the room. “I’ll get it over with before I drink too much, ey?”

“Go on, Serena!” Raf encouraged, grinning as he lifted his pint glass to his lips.

“We didn’t see this day coming, did we? You all thought that I’d be here until long after all of you had come and gone.” Serena began, smile faltering as she met Bernie’s gaze. “Fifteen years of coming in and out of those doors on an almost daily basis. I’ve been through a lot in those years, and I don’t know if I’d have got through it without that place…without all of you. I think on behalf of both Bernie and myself, I can say that we’re so utterly grateful to have worked with so many amazing people over our years at Holby. I’d like to think that our absence will be noticed, that tomorrow the whole hospital will fall apart just to show how fundamental we have been, but I know - and I am proud to know - that the wards will keep running and you will keep working and the patients won’t even notice we’re gone. Because you are an extraordinary group of doctors and nurses, and your skill and dedication will prove unparalleled in making up for our departure. These years at Holby have been some of the best of my life, and I’m proud to have shared those years with the people sitting in this bar. From my very first day, I knew this place was different, then it brought me happiness in a form that I never could’ve anticipated and any shadow of a doubt was erased from my mind. Holby was where I belonged. All that’s left to say is that I expect you all to be nice to our replacements because they’ve got some very big shoes to fill and I’m sure they’re terrified enough as it is, and that we both expect very special treatment if we ever end up on the other end of the scalpel.”

“To the soldier, and to the spy!” Jac interjected, surprising everyone though they followed her toast in suit without letting on. _The woman who got me here._ Bernie summarised simply, meaning it in more ways than one.

 _My ally in the preservation of the hospital, my respected colleague, the one that I was told to watch out for._ Serena speculated, realising just how little she knew Jac. _They’d been present at all of the important events - the christening, the wedding…even Ric’s funeral - but beyond that, they’d barely held a conversation._

“Ms Campbell, I forgot to tell you earlier but I’m going to need you to come in tomorrow. Not for long, only perhaps half an hour. Ms Wolfe will need to present as well.” Henrik stated casually as the applause died down and people returned to their conversations. His words were met with a curious gaze from Serena, and he knew that she wasn’t going to leave up until he told her now. “The trauma unit is being renamed, and the board would like you both to be there for the unveiling of the new plaque.”

Returning to her seat, Serena feels manly arms wrap around her and envelop her in a warm hug. Feeling a small kiss planted on the crown of her head, she turns to see Sacha Levy - _her colleague, her friend, her partner in raising some of the greatest F1s the NHS has ever seen_ \- and she remembered back to the day he made consultant, the day he proved his worth in more ways than one.

It felt like the right way to end it, teary-eyed though she was, as she looked across at Bernie and knew that no matter how happy the past had been and no matter how much she would miss that. Nothing could be better than a future with the woman she loved, and never in her life had she been more enthusiastic to leave something so good behind her. Almost sensing her love’s thoughts, the blonde extended a hand and caressed Serena’s cheek gently as they drank to a history worth remembering and a future worth dreaming about.


	26. zippers

Monday September 4th, almost unquestionably one of the most stressful days of the year, and Bernie had been up since five panicking about it. Serena however, didn’t move until the clock had chimed seven and the kids needed to be woken. You’d think after already doing it all once, it’d be easier the second time around but somehow Bernie had decided that everything was going to go wrong today and Serena had no way to persuade her otherwise. All she could do was try to make sure that the morning went as smoothly as possible so she wasn’t like this every day. 

“Serena!” Bernie called from the hallway, summoning her wife eagerly only to see her head pop out of their bedroom door. “Can you do Tia’s hair? She’ll only kick up a fuss if I try.”

“Of course I can, darling. I’ll get them dressed and ready if you can go and sort out breakfast and make sure their pack lunches are in their school bags.” Serena responded warmly, noting the distress in Bernie’s tone as she tried to argue with Jake that going to school wasn’t an option and that he needed to get out of bed so that he could get ready. “Leave it to me, you sort yourself out.”

“Thanks ‘Rena.” Bernie answered, exhaling in relief as she padded downstairs eagerly. Already fully dressed and effectively ready to leave the house, anybody else in Bernie’s position would have relaxed a little by this point but not Bernie. Hurrying about the kitchen to make sure that the two pack lunches were pristine, she dropped them in to the kids’ bags and very deliberately put them close beside the door so they couldn’t be misplaced. “Now.”

Bustling around the kitchen anxiously, Bernie ended up making enough toast to feed a small army, poured out five bowls of cereal instead of four only to realise she’d given Tia Weetabix…something that would not go down well with the five year old. Jake was less of a handful, most of the time, he was ten now and it’d been three years since they adopted him so he’d fallen in to the swing of things quite easily. In her hurry to make sure everything was sorted for when the kids came down, she managed to pour a mug of coffee over her forearm and scalded the flesh there. 

“Everything alright, love?” Serena questioned as she entered the kitchen, children close behind her, to see Bernie running her reddened hand under the cold tap. Approaching concernedly, she looked down at the damaged flesh and pursed her lips worriedly. “Eat your breakfast kids. I’ll go and grab some bandage to cover it.”

“It can wait until we get to work, we’re already in a hurry as it is.” Bernie pointed out, nodding towards the two children that had occupied themselves with wolfing down the food that covered the kitchen table. “It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

“We’ve got plenty of time, stop fussing!” Serena exclaimed, ducking out in to the pantry to grab the medical supplies and returning to her wife’s side. “It doesn’t look too bad, so it should be okay.”

Serena carefully wrapped the burn, no hurry in her movements though it was apparent that Bernie felt quite eager to get moving and she wasn’t going to stress her out even more by stripping her of her time. As soon as Bernie was released from Serena’s care, she swiped up the empty bowls from right under the kids’ noses and took them to the sink to rinse before shoving them in to the dishwasher forcefully. The clock hit half past and Bernie looked like she was about to scream, Fifteen minutes, in Serena’s mind at least, felt like plenty of time to get the kids’ shoes and coats on and get them to the car, but apparently that was not the case. 

Bernie was barking like a general telling the kids to get their shoes on, though by some miracle neither of the kids seemed even mildly fazed by her tone. Tia slipped on her shoes without any difficulty while Jake quietly struggled with his laces until Serena noticed and stepped in, keeping her voice low as she guided the young boy through the steps again. The sight of it - seeing her wife teaching their son how to do his shoelaces - stopped Bernie in tracks and she paused for a moment with a narrow smile across her lips. 

“Come here darling, let me get your coat on.” Bernie offered, her voice light if still a little tense. Tia approached her with her arms stretched out, co-operative as possible in Bernie’s attempts to get the jacket on in one go. Miraculously it took only two attempts to get her coat on properly, but the real trouble came with the zip. As her fingers stumbled over the fastening, Bernie yanked forcefully only to get Tia’s cardigan caught fast. “Serena, can you-“

Without finishing her sentence, the brunette was beside her and taking the zip before carefully and strategically unfastening the zip and successfully redoing it so that it sat comfortably beneath Tia’s neck. Jake successfully got his own coat on, lifting his backpack from the ground and pulling it over his shoulders without any difficulty and making for the front door. As Serena made sure that her daughter was set to leave, Bernie grabbed her own bag from the head of the bannister and walked out to the car. 

As she hopped in to the driver’s seat, she looked in the rear view to Serena locking up the house. Tia hopped in to the car, fiddling with the fixtures of her booster seat until Serena intervened to fasten them for her before jumping in to the passenger seat. Jake was picking on his sister for needing a ‘baby seat’ despite the fact that most boys his age still needed one and he’d just been hit by a miraculous growth spurt when he first came to live with them, gritting her teeth as not to explode, Bernie breathed deeply and shoved the keys in to the ignition. 

Driving to school only took about fifteen minutes, twenty on a busy day, but Bernie always prepared for every possibility, and being early was tenfold better than being late. They pulled in to car park at five past eight to see the playground effectively empty, though Bernie did not appear even mildly disappointed. Unbuckling himself, Jake eagerly opened his door and got out of the car before a wide-eyed Bernie pounced out to stop him in his tracks. 

“What have you been told about getting out of the car before you’ve been told to? Do you want us to put the lock back on so that you can’t get out until we do it for you?” Bernie’s demands were more alarmed than angry, but Jake’s timid response inferred that it had allowed for the intended effect anyway. “We’ve told you a million times that you have to listen to us about these things, we only say them because we want you safe, alright?”

The young boy nodded resolutely before hugging Bernie, burying his head guiltily in her shoulder as held him close and hid the smirk on her face at just how well he had wrapped her around his little finger. Around the other side of the car, Serena was getting a teary-eyed Tia out of her seat, hesitant though she was to leave the car, and she couldn’t help the tears that threatened to spill as her little girl started school - this was going to be the last time she had a real first day with any of her kids, and it was the first one she got with Bernie. Of course, they’d had the first day at nursery for her and they’d have the first day at secondary for both her and Jake, but nothing would compare to this. 

“Tom just got here! I’m gonna go say hi!“ Jake enthused warmly, as he broke away from Bernie’s embrace. “See you later Mums!”

Watching the young boy hurry off towards the familiar face of his classmate, Bernie watched with a tinge of her sadness in her expression before she stood to round the car and help Serena with what was obviously proving a challenging task. What she came to find, was not a struggle, but merely Serena holding a blubbering Tia with little legs wrapped tightly around her torso. Decisively, she approached the pair and wrapped them both up in her embrace as their little girl cried to her mothers because she was scared. 

“Baby girl, what are you so frightened of?” Bernie’s tone was soft and easy, the gentlest it had been all morning. “Remember that you have all of your Mummy’s heart and all of my bravery, and if you put your mind to it, there’s nothing in this world you can’t achieve. First day of school? For someone as amazing and strong as my little girl? Ha, easy! And you know that if it does get too much, if you get upset and you want to talk to me or Mummy, we’re only a phone call away.”

The sobbing ceased and Tia stilled, though she was still sniffling a little, before lifting her head to look in to Bernie’s eyes with a reddened and blotchy face. Bottom lip puckered and eyelashes wet with tears, the little one truly did look a picture as she nodded, wiping her cheeks and putting on a steely expression with all of the confidence that her mothers had raised her to have. The petite blonde slipped to the floor, still clinging to Serena’s hand as the three of them made their way towards the playground. 

With a final kiss on the forehead from each of her mothers, Tia went inside with her new teacher and left the two women feeling very proud, and very emotional. Serena, knowing her wife’s thoughts, took the blonde’s hand in her own and pulled it up to her lips to plant a reassuring kiss.


	27. accident

Halfway through a ridiculously busy shift, Bernie wondered where her colleague had gone. She hadn’t seen her for easily an hour, which wasn’t normal - the brunette was many things but a slacker wasn’t one of them, especially on a day as busy as today. Sending her patient off to pre-op, the blonde felt the need to find out where Serena had been for so long - she needed her assistance in surgery anyway, so it seemed logical that she go and find her now. In the assumption that she would find her in the scrub room, Bernie headed upstairs to scrub in, finding the room vacant until Raf entered soon after her.

“Raf! Have you seen Ms Campbell?” Bernie enquired, approaching the younger man with curiosity in her tone. “I haven’t seen her in a while and she’s supposed to be scrubbing in.”

“Did no one tell you? I’m covering surgery with you - Serena fell down the stairs on the way back from CT and she’s just over on Keller getting checked over because they’re not as busy as us today. Ric said that she’d probably need the rest of the shift off so I’m gonna stay on for the extra couple of hours and take her charts.” Raf informed casually, running his hands under the tap.

Bernie attempted to hide the concern in her eyes but it would have been undeniably blatant to anyone who cared to pay attention. She could almost feel her blood boiling, a flush rising in her cheeks and through her entire body as worry rose and made her panic. Raf was absentmindedly scrubbing at his nails, unaware of the fire he had just lit under Bernie.

Trying to force down her thoughts, Bernie concentrated on scrubbing in and without another word, entered the theatre. Surgery was somewhat uneventful, the blonde performing the entire procedure without a second thought as her mind was too preoccupied with the wellbeing of Serena. It would be too suspicious for her to go running off the second she heard about it, Serena had wanted her discretion for the time being, and she was willing to give the brunette whatever she desired in exchange for just a chance at a relationship. Forcing herself to get through the surgery, Raf made little conversation and the tension in the room could’ve been cut with a knife. 

As soon as the patient was stitched up, Bernie made quick work of scrubbing out and getting back downstairs. Rushing on to Keller without a second thought, she almost launched herself at Ric as all of the pent up anxiety boiled to the surface. 

“Where’s Serena?” Bernie enquired, attempting to keep her tone level though it cracked upon Serena’s name. 

“Bay 4.” Ric replied, a little confusion tinging his expression as he noticed the emergence in the blonde’s tone. 

Decisively, Bernie paced across the ward towards the aforementioned bed to find Serena, looking quite comfortable as she leant back with a magazine in hand. Lifting her head in query, the brunette met the eyes of her girlfriend and saw the worry there, pursing her lips guiltily. Outstretching a hand, Serena caught the gaze of the blonde with reassurance befitted upon her face. 

“Are you okay? What happened?“ Bernie questioned anxiously. “Raf said you fell down the stairs. I was in surgery when I found out so I couldn’t just leave!”

“I’m fine, love. A few bumps and bruises in the morning but nothing more, they’re only keeping me in because they want to x-ray for any fractures even though I know full well I haven’t broken anything. I’d be back on the ward already if we weren’t so backed up today.” Serena uttered calmly, a weak smile across her cheeks as she spoke. “Did surgery go okay?”

“It was fine, don’t worry about surgery. You fell down a flight of stairs, how are you so fine?!’ Bernie exclaimed, still not settled after the worry of not knowing for what felt like forever. “I was panicking! Don’t ever do that to me again, okay?!”

Reaching forward, Bernie took Serena’s face between her hands as she blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Completely unaware of her surroundings, Bernie allowed her lips to press against Serena’s forehead tenderly as she swallowed down her fear and knew that the brunette was safe and well, and right in front of her. As she pulled back in relief, letting go of Serena, she felt the presence of someone behind her and looked straight at Serena with countless apologies buried in every inch of her expression. 

“We’re ready to take you up to x-ray now, Ms Campbell. You can come with, if you’d like to, Ms Wolfe.“ Dom stated easily, the wry grin on his lips almost audible in his knowing tone. The young man knew how to be discreet, he had proved that before so Bernie exhaled relievedly and pressed her lips together. 

“I’d best get back to the ward, we’re busy today and some of us can’t afford to slack. Keep her in good shape, we can’t run without her for too long.” Bernie responded, slipping straight back in to professional mode and quickly shutting down all of the feelings that had been ever so momentarily exposed. Serena shifted easily to the wheelchair, knowing full well there was no way she was getting out of that particular protocol, and Dom began to push her out on to the ward. “I’ll give you a lift home tonight, don’t want you driving in your condition.”

Serena reached out and took a hold of Bernie’s blue collar, tugging her closer without any consideration for the situation. Pulling the blonde down to her, Serena placed a chaste but firm kiss upon her lips, lingering for just a moment before releasing her grasp. The violent flush of Bernie’s cheek forced a smirk upon her colleague’s face, and a smug look upon that of Dom’s. It took her a couple of hours to realise that Serena had just willingly exposed their relationship to what would soon be the entire hospital, though she wasn’t complaining. She most definitely was not complaining.


	28. bedtime

Getting the kids to bed at night was usually a pretty easy thing - by some miracle, Jake was already in the stereotypical teenage phase where all he wanted to do with his time was sleep, and Tia knew how grumpy she was in the morning if she didn’t get a good night’s sleep. However, getting them to bed on the weekends was a horse of a different colour. 

With no need to get up early, both children constantly used the excuse that as long as they got the right amount of sleep, it didn’t matter what time they got it. Surprisingly, it was Serena who was the tougher of the two when it came to disciplining the children with Bernie turning out to be an undeniable pushover in respect to almost everything. Many a night had ended with Bernie carrying the kids upstairs after they fell asleep on the couch, insisting that they weren’t tired yet, but those were most frequently the nights when Serena was working late and came home to find Bernie snoozing on the edge of Tia’s bed having tucked her in. 

“Come on baby girl, it’s way past your bedtime now! Go and brush your teeth, I’ll be up to read you a story and get you tucked in.” Serena suggested warmly to the little girl who was trying to feign wakefulness despite the fact she was practically napping across Bernie’s legs. “I want you upstairs as soon as this finishes too, tiger.”

Watching as their youngest pricked up before scampering out of the room and up the stairs eagerly, the two women smiled across at their son where he sat cross-legged with his eyes glued to the television screen. His favourite tv show - courtesy of a certain cousin - was World’s Strongest Man which just so happened to be on every Friday night at 8:30, so it had become his weekly treat that he could stay up the extra half an hour past his bedtime to see it. Over the months, they had tried to wean him away from it in compromise for watching it on catch up the next evening, only to find that their plan was flawed by Jason’s incessant need to discuss everything that happened, at Saturday brunch. 

Serena was sat with her legs curled up underneath her, resting against Bernie’s shoulder with their hands intertwined - countless nights had ended the same way as this over the years. Bernie never thought she could enjoy a life like this - so utterly domesticated - but now she couldn’t imagine anything better. She’d missed out on all of it with Cameron and Charlotte, and while she was making up that time with them now, it wasn’t the same as being able to see all of the firsts like she had with Tia, and to some extent with Jake as well. 

“I’m gonna go and get T down, see you in 30?” Serena offered, careful to keep her voice down as not to interrupt the television and face the wrath of her son. 

“Mmhm, I’ll let you know who wins.” Bernie hummed, grinning as Serena quietly got up and slipped out of the room. Glancing across towards the young boy, Bernie smiled before settling to watch the rest of the show. 

As soon as the credits began to roll, the blonde reached for the remote and flicked off the television. Standing up from the couch, she paced towards the armchair and flung her son over her shoulder playfully before charging up the stairs with him in a fireman’s lift. Serena just conveniently happened to be stood on the landing in her dressing gown, looking somewhat like a deer in headlights as Bernie stampeded tumultuously towards her. 

“I thought I had two children under my roof, apparently I missed one out.” Serena deadpanned, rolling her eyes as she tried to conceal her laughter. “Time for bed, I think! The exhaustion’s sending you both loopy!”

As Jake was released from the blonde’s hold, he hurried off to brush his teeth and change in to his pyjamas. After slipping in to her own dressing gown, Bernie slipped in to the boy’s bedroom to find him already in bed with the duvet pulled up to his chin. Padding across the carpet, she stooped to tuck him in snugly and plant a gentle kiss upon his forehead, whispering a good night and an I love you. As she rose and turned to leave, she saw a smiling Serena in the doorway, looking almost angelic with the landing light spilling in to the room from around her head. 

Without a word, she passed the brunette and poked her head in on their sleeping daughter. Tiptoeing over, she leant down to press her lips against Tia’s temple and uttered a quiet goodnight under her breath. Lingering for just a moment longer than necessary as she clung to the memory of putting Charlotte to bed like this. Bernie slipped out of the room to see Serena still stood in their now sleeping son’s doorway and paused to stand beside her there, curious as to what had captured the brunette’s thoughts so entirely. 

“In six months, he starts secondary…then in seven years he’ll be going off to uni. I can’t believe the times gone so quickly, it feels like only yesterday that he came to live with us.” Bernie almost breathed, wrapping her arm around Serena’s waist. As she spoke, happiness held her cheeks up and they looked down at their son with joy radiating from them in the mellow light of the evening. “I love our family, so much. Every memory that’s ever been made under this roof..”

‘“As do I, our perfect slice of happiness.“ Serena replied, leaning in to Bernie’s side and nestling her head in the nook of her wife’s collar. Kissing Serena’s cheek softly, Bernie locked the moment in her memory bank and made a promise to herself that she would never fail to appreciate the moments like these, not ever.


	29. cats

It had been three years since Bernie had brought home the cats, and it had been three years of making sure there was a backlog of anti-histamines in the medical cupboard for Serena. She never let it get to less than two boxes because she knew full well that some ridiculous circumstances would lead to her being stuck in the house for God knows how many days with a suffering and whiny Bernie. It was a priority to make sure that they never ran out, because she knew how dramatic the consequences would be. 

Traipsing through the bathroom door with a running nose, Bernie outstretched a hand and flicked open the cabinet which sat over the toilet and reached for a fresh box of anti-histamines, having forgotten to take one yesterday and feeling the consequences of sleeping with Marmalade upon her pillow. Through her squinted bloodshot eyes, the blonde swiped the box and knocked it straight out of the cabinet and into the toilet, somehow miraculously managing to catch the second back-up packet on the way as that followed suit and the two landed in the water of the toilet bowl. 

“Serena!” Bernie called anxiously, unwilling to jeopardise any remaining hope she had that Serena might have hidden a spare packet somewhere else in the house. The brunette paced in to the room expectantly before seeing the empty cupboard, her eyes widened as her gaze landed intently upon Bernie’s guilt-ridden guise. “I can barely see a thing, don’t you have a back up?”

“That WAS the back up!” Serena exclaimed, panicking at the mere prospect of dealing with a whiny, ill Bernie. “I can’t- I’ll go get some from the chemist-I’ll only be a couple of minutes!”

Urgently, Serena turned on her heel to leave, taking one step before whipping straight back around resoundingly.

“It’s Bank Holiday Monday.” 

Bernie swallowed thickly as she reached for the toilet paper and gathered a wad, blowing her nose loudly. Throwing it into the toilet, she pressed down the flush slowly, considering her options in the present situation - of course, there was no way around it that either of them could think of so they attempted to get on with their day as usual. Yet after only an hour, Serena couldn’t take Bernie’s incessant sniffling anymore and declared the front room a cat-free zone. 

“Serena, you can’t- they’ll be lonely out there all on their own for the rest of the day! I’d rather you cast me out than them!” Bernie exclaimed concernedly, bundling Shadow between her arms defensively as the brunette tried to reclaim the cat from her arms. “Please Serena, don’t do this to our babies!”

Rolling her eyes, Serena claimed the smallest of the three cats in her arms before corralling the three felines towards the door, guiding them out before placing Shadow down in the hallway and very strategically shutting the door before they could get back in. Almost as soon as the door was closed, the mewling and scratching of Marmalade and Bramble against the wooden panelling of the door and Bernie puckered her bottom lip dramatically. Eventually the cats got tired, either slinking off to find comfort upon their blankets or simply settling beside the door to sleep as they patiently awaited the emergence of their mothers. 

“Cup of tea?” The brunette suggested a couple of hours later, rising from where she had settled on the sofa beside a slightly reddened but no longer sneezing Bernie. Heading out of the room, she was careful in sneaking out of the door without awaking Shadow where she had settled beside the living room door and closed the door behind her. Boiling the kettle, she waited patiently and leant against the kitchen table, catching sight of the lonely looking pair curled up asleep close to her feet. “Oh darlings, it’s only for today. She’ll be back fussing over you first thing tomorrow!” 

After making the two mugs of tea, Serena approached the living room door with careful grace, only to find that the small black fluffball that had been rising there only minutes before, had miraculously disappeared. Pursing her lips, she nudged open the door with her elbow and walked in to find Bernie, seemingly having not moved, with Shadow poorly concealed beneath her cardigan. Without hesitation, the brunette settled the two mugs on the coffee table before extending her arm impatiently. 

“But Serena,” Bernie pouted, even as she handed over the cat in the knowledge that this wasn’t an argument she could win. 

Though she felt guilty, someone had to crack the whip and it certainly wasn’t going to be Bernie after all she had endured to get the cats in the first place. She was going to have to play hardball, it was only another eighteen or so hours, and she was Serena Campbell - if there was one thing she took pride in, it was never giving in to peer pressure. Admittedly, her resolve weakened significantly when it came to Bernie, but she steeled herself and reclaimed Shadow, replacing her outside of the living room door and returning to her seat. 

For the rest of the evening, Bernie sulked but made little attempt to fight against Serena on the matter until it was time to head up for bed. When Serena headed upstairs, the blonde insisted she would be right behind her and busied herself with turning off the television and the lights. 

After ten minutes of giving her the benefit of the doubt, the vascular surgeon slipped back downstairs to find Bernie sitting on the kitchen floor with the cats sprawled across her lap as she sniffed violently. Serena approached with a stern expression, looking down at her with impatient eyes and extending a hand to help her up. 

“I’m sorry my babies, I have to leave you. I really don’t want to. I hope you don’t freeze down here without my cuddles to keep you warm. Please know this is completely against my will.” Bernie whined as she stood up and was drawn away from the scene by a rueful Serena. The two clambered in to bed, neither of them enthused to make conversation with such a dull tone in the air. “Serena…why didn’t we just go and get some from work? Are we thick?”


	30. dessert

Dinner had been charming, uneventful, and calm, which was a rarity in their shared lives now, but the claret red dress Serena had chosen to wear made getting home Bernie’s priority. It wasn’t that she was desperate for sex, rather that Serena had been teasing her incessantly all day, and she was determined to make sure she got her revenge served piping hot- positively fiery, in fact. After paying the bill, the two women were swift in their departure and wasted no time in getting back to the house. 

“Fancy some dessert?” Serena offered, flirting haughtily as they walked through the front door. “There’s tiramisu in the fridge if you fancy it. Something sweet before bedtime.”

“I’d love some," Bernie replied, her tone sultry, following the brunette to the kitchen and watching the way her arse moved with each step. It would be deceit to say that she’d never glanced upon the appendage before, but she had never glued her eyes to it with quite such ardour. “Just a little for me, dinner filled me up.”

As Serena reached in to the fridge and drew out the dish, she smirked a little before turning around to place it on the table with two forks beside it. Slipping into the chair with one knee raised up to rest her chin on, she took one of the forks in her hand and collected a small mouthful of the dessert, bringing it to her lips. She knew the effect it was having on Bernie to see her swiping cream over her lips and into her mouth, and it was for precisely that reason that she made all the more effort to truly appreciate what she was tasting. 

Mouth slightly agape, Bernie watched in awe with no thought for the fork that lay waste upon the table.   
“Not having any, Bern’?” Serena’s voice was teasing, and the wry grin that quirked upon her lips almost viciously did a poor job of expressing just how cruel she knew she was being. “Just try a little.”

Without hesitation, Serena collected a little onto her fork and guided it to Bernie’s lips as the chill of the metal tines caught her warm mouth. Bernie felt the luxurious flavour settle on her tongue and she stifled a moan of pleasure. Swallowing down the cake, the sweet taste clung to her palate as her eyes met Serena’s once more, and the two silently knew that the real dessert was yet to come.

Rising slowly, Bernie stood close beside Serena’s chair before summoning the brunette upwards with her forefinger hovering a hairsbreadth beneath her chin. Capturing rouged lips with her own, Bernie caught the sweet residue that held upon Serena’s lips and knew that when their mouths parted, the sweet coffee flavour would linger. Serena’s hand looped behind Bernie’s back, tugging her closer instinctively as the kiss deepened, and Bernie raised her right arm to wrap her palm around the curve of the brunette’s neck. 

Bernie’s spare hand found its way to rest upon full hips, swathed in a sea of dark red fabric that framed her physique magnificently. Her hold firm as she squeezed the flesh there, Serena slipped her tongue betwixt soft lips to find the flavour of coffee still tangible, and held down a moan.

The loud noise of the table legs scraping against the linoleum urged them to move to a more appropriate environment, no let up in their contact as they stumbled blindly down the hallway towards the stairs. It seemed that in her vast and unfaltering knowledge of the house, Serena didn’t need her sight to guide her safely to the bedroom until halfway up the stairs she tumbled backwards, landing heavily on her backside as Bernie proceeded to fall right on top of her. 

Catching herself, the army medic held her weight upon her arms as she loomed over Serena for a moment, before crashing her lips against her girlfriend’s once again. Slowly she stooped so that her knee rested on the step below, feeling Serena’s arms wrap around her neck as the brunette rose up, pressing into the kiss forcefully. Bernie had started to walk upon her hands further up the steps, with Serena sliding backwards in tow to mirror her movements; the two of them reached the top of the stairs and stood up, clumsily attempting to maintain contact. 

Serena found herself pinned against the wall suddenly, with Bernie’s lips in an assault upon her neck. Her head fell back against the wall as she revelled in the sensation of her lover’s lips sliding across her cool flesh. In a ploy for control, the brunette wrapped her hands around Bernie’s torso and settled her thumbs beneath the hem of her trousers, palms spanning Bernie’s glorious backside and squeezing the soft expanse so that she heard the blonde groan against her skin. 

“Bed," Serena forced out breathily, surging against the blonde to guide them to the bedroom, though she was blinded by her passion and almost guided them straight in to the airing cupboard door. A few false steps later, the two almost fell through the master bedroom door and stumbled across the carpet to slam against the foot of the bed. Allowing herself to be pushed back upon the duvet, Serena reached for the hem of Bernie’s blouse and tugged it over her head in one swoop, exposing a vast expanse of skin. The flesh was dotted with scars from years of damage, years that built up a story of the magnificent woman Bernie was and when they made love, Serena would take her time tracing every mark she could find. 

But this wasn’t love making, this was dessert. 

Without hesitation, Bernie hooked her thumbs under the fabric either side of Serena’s thighs and pulled the dress up and over her head. It was almost rhythmic, musical, as over countess nights they had learned to anticipate one another’s movements, and they fit almost as clockwork might.

Having gone braless, the brunette suddenly found herself in nothing but her underwear and suddenly felt rather cheated by the situation, reaching to yank off Bernie’s trousers and underwear in retaliation. The two were stripped bare as Serena slid up the bed to rest her head upon the pillows, extending her hands to draw her lover up to her, and was greeted with a deep, hot kiss. 

Breaking away from her lips, Bernie started to make her way down Serena’s body with her mouth. A kiss planted every inch or so, lingering to tease at her cleavage, until she reached her hips and lifted Serena’s taught thighs to rest upon her broad shoulders, either side of her head. 

Foreplay wasn’t on the cards; there had been foreplay all day long in tantalisingly looks and whisper touches, and neither of them had the restraint to hold out.

Bernie leant down to place an open-mouthed kiss against Serena’s clit, catching it in her mouth and sucking upon it as it swelled beneath the guidance of her nimble tongue. 

Serena bit back her moans, clasping the duvet in her fists and allowing her hips to rise against Bernie’s mouth. Feeling the attentions of her lover shift, Serena's eyes flew tightly shut as Bernie’s tongue slipped inside of her and out again skilfully.

After only a few minutes of her ministrations the brunette was mewling desperately, her hand reaching down and taking a fistful of Bernie’s hair. Brusquely pushing against the blonde in eager desire, she felt Bernie’s fingers draw up the inside of her leg teasingly before joining her mouth and thrusting into Serena fervently, filling her. As Bernie allowed her tongue to envelop Serena’s clit once more, the brunette came.

All of the pretence of remaining quiet was forgotten as Serena’s pleasure ripped through the room, Bernie collapsing between her legs in exhaustion.

She pressed a feather-light kiss to Serena's thigh, and the latter could feel Bernie's coy grin against her tender flesh. "Why are you grinning like the cat got the cream?" she panted.

"Well, that's the best dessert I've ever had."


	31. edward

Serena couldn’t help but wonder what was going on, everyone on the ward had been acting oddly ever since the shift started and she knew full well that she hadn’t done anything to evoke a sudden change in their behaviour. Even Bernie, unchangeable as she was, seemed to falter when Serena asked if she wanted to meet for a coffee break at 1. 

“Fletch,” Serena began as she approached the young nurse. “Is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

“Nothing, Serena, nothing at all. Why’d you ask?” Fletch blurted almost obviously, burying his head in his files and avoiding eye contact. 

“Fletch!” The consultant deadpanned impatiently, determined to get to the bottom of it as soon as she could. 

“It’s…Edward- he’s on locum today and we were all trying to make sure your paths didn’t cross. I don’t know why we didn’t tell you so that you could just avoid him to be honest, just thought it might make your day easier if you didn’t have an extra thing to worry about. Honestly, I wouldn’t give it a second thought Serena, you know Bern’ll put him in his place if he comes within ten yards of you.” His words were overeager as though he wanted them out of his mouth so that he couldn’t be held accountable for them. 

Almost laughing, Serena excused herself in order to find Bernie and make sure that she didn’t act irrationally, as she was often prone to do when it came to those who upset those she cared about. Finding her, pacing up and down the trauma ward with worry painting her features, Bernie looked up and met Serena’s gaze before realising almost immediately that she knew. It wouldn’t stop her - if she saw Edward, she would react in precisely the same manner she had previously intended to, no matter what the brunette said. 

“You won’t even see him, don’t worry about it.” Bernie uttered calmly, maintaining her cool state and breathed out evenly. “Want to go and get some coffee?”

“Sure.” Serena replied, knowing it would at least keep the blonde out of trouble for a while. As they walked across to the lifts, it felt slightly ridiculous that Serena was being handled and guided around the hospital carefully in order to avoid an unfortunate encounter. They were both adults after all, and they’d survived working together before since the divorce, and frankly she felt better equipped than ever to deal with his wrath should she stumble upon him. 

Pulses was quiet, it was visiting hours on the wards so there were only a few lingering outpatients drinking cups of coffee in silence. Ordering two, Bernie paid without hesitation and passed one in to Serena’s waiting hand. As they stepped out, Serena glanced over to see the blonde with a tinge of anger settled against her brow. Edward and Bernie were not to meet, Serena repeated it over and over in her head to make sure the message had gone in. 

The rest of the shift passed without cause for concern, Edward never entered AAU and Serena did her best to make sure Bernie never ventured beyond its doors. It wasn’t until they were walking out, with coats and bags, that the two women clocked the familiar face strutting down the corridor confidently, pausing only momentarily as he caught sight of his ex-wife. Serena reached out her hand in an attempt to grab Bernie’s and reiterate that she wanted no trouble caused, but failed to catch it as Bernie extended the gap between them and stood, obstructing Edward’s way so that he was forced to stop and wait in front of her. 

“New plaything, Serena? I always suspected, but I thought you’d be looking for someone at least a little younger.” Edward snarked as he made to weave his way between the two women, only to be stopped by Bernie replacing her body directly in from of the man’s. “Feisty, isn’t she!”

“She certainly is, and she’s about to show you just how much.” Bernie ground her words out bitterly, threateningly close to Edward as her tone emphasised her intention. “I’ve spent months wanting to kick your teeth in, to make sure you realise what you lost, to let you feel a small slice of the pain that you’ve caused through your life…but I don’t think I need to. I think you can do that for yourself - with Libby gone, Elinor not speaking to you…it would seem loneliness is welcoming you.”

“How did you-” Edward began before narrowing his eyes, trying to suss out the blonde. Bernie would never disclose her sources, they were almost all trusted friends and those who weren’t still have some situational impact that can’t be overlooked. “You know what, I don’t want to fall out with you…because one day soon we’ll be in the same boat. You’ll get bored of her eventually, everybody does.”

In one swift movement, Bernie pushed him backwards and pinned him against the wall. With his toes just touching the ground, he struggled for breath as the ex-army medic forced her hold on his shirt harshly into his clavicle and boring her eyes in to his anxious expression with a violent intent. Despite the fact that her adrenaline was pumping through her veins and she was mildly fazed out from her surroundings, Bernie couldn’t mistake the gentle tug on her spare arm coming from a somewhat alarmed brunette stood behind her. 

“Say another word and you’ll find yourself rendered somewhat incapacitated.” Bernie hissed as she released her hold and watched the man land heavily on his feet, almost falling as he recollected himself before glaring at Serena. “Be glad she’s here, because I swear this restraint is for her benefit, and only hers. ”

As he staggered off some dumbfounded, Serena pursed her lips to show her disapproval in Bernie’s actions though there was a small smile fighting for a place upon her lips. Bernie guiltily wrapped her arm around the brunette’s shoulders and the two walked out of the hospital and away from the drama to their home.


	32. fart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i wrote this, blame amy, i hate her for making me do this

They were curled up on the sofa with something or other on the TV though neither of them was paying much attention to it. It had been four months since they first got together, and in that time they’d extensively increased the amount of time they spent together to a point where they could easily go forty eight hours without actually leaving one another’s side for more than five minutes. 

Bernie had her arm wrapped around Serena’s shoulders as the brunette rested her head against the bosom of her girlfriend. Absent-mindedly, Bernie ran her deft fingers up and down Serena’s arm and despite the fact that Serena’s internal monologue was screaming at her to make an excuse out of needing a drink or to go to the bathroom, or anything to remove her from the impending dilemma. Feeling pressure build up inside of her, both mentally and physically, she bit down on the inside of her cheek and concentrated on strategising. 

After over a decade married to Edward, she had learned how to avoid exposing what rested behind the curtain of feminine mystique. 

Shifting her legs underneath herself in some attempt to make a distraction, Serena quickly released the parp in the hope it would go unnoticed though as she fell back against the sofa, she knew there was no way the unexpectedly reverberant tone of her flatulence could not fly under the radar. Her entire body was stock still as she waited for Bernie to burst out laughing, or to judge her, or to tell her she was disgusting…but it never came and though internally she was tense and alarmed, eventually her muscles gave in and relaxed against Bernie. 

Despite the fact that every inch of her wanted to stay quiet and try to forget the fact it had ever happened, she couldn’t settle to act normally with Bernie for the rest of the night. 

“Serena, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting really strangely.” Bernie enquired as the two of them got ready for bed, Serena getting changed in the corner as far away from the blonde as she possibly could. “You were fine all day.”

“Have I? I hadn’t noticed, maybe I’m just tired. Let’s get some sleep, shall we?” Serena encouraged, practically tripping over words as they raced out of her mouth. Knowing how blatant her behaviour was, she climbed under the duvet and shut her eyes in an attempt to remove herself from the situation. 

“Love, what’s going on?” Bernie asked, insistent in her tone as she got in to bed beside the brunette and reached to take hold of her hand. “You’re worrying me.”

“It’s nothing.” The brunette replied sharply. Rather than persist with words, Bernie simply reached to tilt her girlfriend’s head towards her so that the brunette was forced to make eye contact unless she maintained shutting her eyes. She had an impatient yet concerned expression upon her face as Serena looked up at her awkwardly, stuck between laughing and praying the ground would swallow her whole. “You’d only laugh at me. It’s nothing important, believe me. It…you’re not going to let this go, are you. For goodness sake, earlier on the couch I- I- you know…- passed wind. I- know it shouldn’t be a big deal but it’s terrible and can we just pretend it didn’t happen?!”

“Serena…” Bernie began, pursing her lips to hold back her giggling. “I have literally been farting around you since the first time we went to Albies, maybe even before then. I don’t care! It’s a natural bodily function! I can’t believe you got tied up about this! That’s so daft, love!”

Though it was a touchy subject for the next couple of days, it soon became a joke between the two of them and Bernie would do her best to fart in the most embarrassing of places. It all started when they were halfway down the bread aisle in Tesco and Bernie grinned like the Cheshire Cat, catching Serena’s gaze as the brunette breathed in through her nose. Bursting out laughing, Serena dragged her girlfriend down to the opposite end of the aisle by the hand while failing to hold back her giggling. 

“I can’t believe you, Bernie Wolfe!” Serena scoffed as people passed by them looking confused. The two of them had laughed around it the rest of the way around the supermarket, and half the way to the car before they could actually make eye contact again without spluttering into hysterics. 

From then on it became a running competition between the pair of them, to see who would be the most daring and it wasn’t until Hanssen found the pair of them doubled over, howling with laughter outside of a freshly adjourned board meeting, that they considered whether it had run its course. Nevertheless, it continued to the point where they were keeping record on their phones for competition’s sake, and Serena was pulling away with the lead until Bernie did the unthinkable - in theatre, with Raf present, accompanied with actual acknowledge. 

“’Sorry. Serena, I told you my stomach didn’t do well with Mexican food.” Bernie claimed, apologetic in her tone as she glanced towards a red faced Raf and swallowed down her laughter. Across the table, Serena was almost quaking with the hysterics that threatened to boil over as she did everything in her power to remain stoic. Failure prevailed and she burst out laughing loudly, shocking the young Scot and the anaesthetist who had remained silent, and it was only then that the stigma, per se, dissipated. “I thought we were professionals, Ms Campbell.”

That evening, Bernie was still bragging smugly about her achievement over dinner, and Serena simply rolled her eyes as she brought a forkful of spaghetti to her mouth. Without misgiving, Serena ripped the atmosphere in two with a bitter, vicious tear and Bernie didn’t bat an eyelid - she was too busy thinking about Raf Di Lucca’s face that afternoon to care.


	33. games night

Bernie and Jason had teamed up against Serena in a ploy to persuade her that a few board games were a fun, family-bonding exercise and it would be a nice thing for them to all do together. She’d been reluctant after last time, and had managed to get her way out of it multiple times, but there was no excuse on a Sunday afternoon when they were all home with nothing to do. For hours, she’d been pottering around, trying to look busy, and saying that she’d join them when she was finished and that they could start without her - but eventually she found herself boxed in around a Monopoly board with the pair of them. 

“You need to choose what you want to be, Auntie Serena? The car and the thimble have already been claimed so you can’t have those ones.” Jason pointed out as Serena glanced absent-mindedly down at the board. Reaching for the dog, Serena took the small token to the start point and placed it there. “Right, I’ll go first, shall I. ”

Serena spent the first half of the game looking entirely bemused, barely even paying attention to what she was doing and simply going around the board with no apparent strategy at all. It wasn’t until she landed on Bernie’s Angel Islington that her focus seemed to shift, and suddenly she was fully invested in the game with nothing else on her mind. The brunette looked across at her girlfriend with fire in her eyes, competitive nature emerging as Jason absent-mindedly took his turn. 

Jason was pulling away in to the lead unsurprisingly, he was without a doubt the most strategic of the three of them, and neither Bernie nor Serena had a chance of contesting his unscathed success. 

“£200 please, Ms Campbell,” Bernie uttered jokingly, splaying out her palm expectantly and letting her gaze trail the brunette as she handed over the paper, disgruntled. “Now now, don’t be a sore loser.”

With that statement, Serena scoffed and suddenly the boredom that had glazed over her eyes fell away and a fire lit inside of her. It was going to be tough to draw closed the gap between the two women but Serena’s determination would certainly work in her favour. There was no denying that her entire method shifted - all of a sudden she was investing in every property she could afford and was close on Bernie’s tail when she landed on Piccadilly and looked down to see that she was about to hand over every last penny she had. 

“Anyone want a glass of Shiraz?” The brunette offered, handing over the money before busying herself with leaving the room. 

As she stalked out of the room, Bernie pursed her lips in the knowledge that the well-tempered state of her love would not last long. Bernie shot a glance across to Jason who seemed to understand, despite the absence of words and, in the knowledge that his win was inevitable, happily sacrificed the game and started to pack away the board as Bernie stood up. 

“I probably should’ve warned you that Auntie Serena doesn’t deal well with losing. I don’t understand it personally, but she won’t be very happy with either of us for the rest of the day now.” Jason pointed out matter-of-factly, he made no effort to keep his voice down though it was unlikely to travel through to the kitchen, not that Serena was going to be offended by his undeniably honest words. 

Bernie passed by the young man and squeezed his shoulder gratefully, smiling at how far the pair of them had progressed in their shared love for Serena over the past months. They had come to a silent understanding when it came to their behaviour around Serena, the ways in which they worked together to keep her fiery nature at bay, and it had certainly brought them closer together. 

“Opening the Higgovale?” Bernie asked curiously as she entered the kitchen to find Serena struggling with what appeared to be a rather stubborn cork. 

As she worked open the bottle, Serena simply nodded as she filled a large glass with the wine and took a large gulp from it. Placing the bottle down on the table, she lifted the glass and tipped back her head to drink almost half the glass in one mouthful, swallowing graciously. The blonde crossed the room, slipping behind the other woman to grab a glass before filling it and taking a casual sip.

“Is there something you wanted?” Serena enquired, impatience in her tone. 

“Nothing at all,” Bernie answered, barely pinning down her giggles as she saw how riled up Serena was. “What do you fancy for dinner?”

“’Sup to you, I don’t really care,” Serena responded curtly; there was no denying the bitterness resounding in her voice. “Whatever you fancy, as long as Jason’s agreeable.”

For the rest of the evening Serena barely spoke a word to either of them, and those she did were coarse and conclusive. Bernie kept her settled, with a full glass of wine and distraction enough to avoid an argument, for the duration of the night until Jason announced that it was time to turn in for bed. He left the two women sat in a somewhat tense atmosphere as outside the window the world fell to black, and Bernie announced she was going to head up soon. 

Climbing in to bed that night Serena was still feeling somewhat resentful of the blonde’s victory, and while sleep was certain to allay her feelings, she was going to make sure tonight was the coldest night Bernie had ever spent in their bed together. As the blonde outstretched her arm to lay across Serena’s waist, she felt the brunette pull away from her and realised that she was in for a rough night. It wasn’t until she was completely certain that Serena was asleep, that she rolled back over from where she had settled clinging to the edge of the bed and cuddled up to the back of the woman in the knowledge that Serena’s wilfulness did not extend beyond conscious thought.


	34. home

It had been a ridiculously long shift, especially with being the only on call consultant and with Raf off sick with the man flu, and by the end of it Bernie was ready to sleep where she dropped. The trauma unit had been rushed off its feet with patients after a bus crashed in to the side of the precinct, and Bernie hadn’t had five minutes to herself since she came in 14 hours ago. 

Signing the discharge papers on one of the last minor injury patients, she exhaled heavily in the relief of knowing that she would be able to go home as soon as she signed on the dotted line. Ric had agreed to act as on call even though it was supposed to be Bernie for another 12 hours, in the knowledge that she was going to be of no use to them having been as exhausted as she presently was. He’d come across to take a transfer patient and seen Bernie stood leaning against the desk, eyes barely staying open where she stood; and that had been four hours ago. 

“Ms Wolfe!” Fletch called as he saw the blonde heading for the office, and raising his pace to catch up to her. “Can you do a quick consult on bay 3 before you get off? Mr Griffin’s so busy on Keller I don’t know how long it’ll take him to get over here, and I want to make sure that it’s nothing serious because I’m a bit concerned that it might be an aneurysm and his blood pressure’s high so I don’t want to leave him waiting for hours.” 

“Of course, Nurse Fletcher.” Bernie breathed out, fatigue evident in her words as she turned on her heel and strode across to the patient. “Mr…Reismann, I just need to take a look at your CT and then I’ll come and let you know what we’ve found.”

Fletch had been right - it was an SAA and he was high risk for a rupture - there was no way she was going to wait for Ric to actually answer his pager so she was forced to drag him in to surgery. Bernie was halfway through suturing the graft when Ric poked his head in to the door, looking like he’d run there, and offered to scrub in. It was too late, and she was too tired, to even consider whether it would compromise her professionally to hand off a surgery halfway through, so she accepted. 

As she made her way back to the ward in the hope that she might get away without anymore interruptions, Bernie had her thoughts interrupted by an eager Lou asking her to sign off on more pain relief for the liver resection in 8, and grinding her teeth, she agreed and took the clipboard from the nurse, scribbling somewhat messily across it. Her temper was straining under the pressure and she felt that soon she wouldn’t be able to swallow down her desperation to leave, there was nothing she wanted more desperately than her own bed at this point. 

“Ms Wolfe?” A porter called as she reached for the office door handle, unaware of the rage he was about to evoke. “Can I borrow you for a minute?”

“No! You can’t!” Bernie yelled as she turned to face the timid-looking young man. “I was supposed to leave three hours ago! I already came in an hour early this morning and when I get home I have hours of paperwork to deal with because I haven’t had five minutes to sit down! Ms Naylor is upstairs, Mr Levy is on Keller, Mr Griffin can do it as soon as he is out of theatre - you have numerous options, I am not one of them!” 

“Of course. Sorry, Ms Wolfe,” The man responded quietly before hurrying off in the opposite direction. 

Sighing resoundingly, Bernie stepped in to the office to grab her jacket and bag before turning off the light and locking up behind her. As she crossed the ward, people parted like the Red Sea to get away from her though she barely noticed in her exhausted state. Fletch was the only one brave enough to go within ten yards of her, smiling weakly. 

“Get a good night’s sleep, Bernie.” Fletch offered softly. “We’ll see you on Wednesday.”

Bernie offered a weak thankyou, patting his upper arm kindly as she made her way out of the doors and headed downstairs. As she got in to the driver’s seat, the blonde took a moment to question whether she could call a cab but then decided she was too eager to get home to wait for one, so instead she turned on the radio and played Dolly Parton so loud that sleep seemed an impossibility. The car journey felt like forever and never had she been more desperate to get home.

Ten minutes later, she pulled up on to the gravel drive of Serena’s house and stepped out of the car. Through the kitchen window she could see Serena sat at the table with a glass of Shiraz sitting in front of her, with Shadow curled up in her lap and Marmalade laid across the window sill, and it felt like the world was put to rights again. 

As she made her way through the front door, Bernie kicked off her shoes and yanked her coat from aching shoulders. Padding barefooted in to the kitchen, she crossed the lino and wrapped her arms around a smiling Serena, kissing the crown of the brunette softly and breathing in her scent. Her hands slipped down to rest in the cat’s black fur, and she relaxed against the back of the chair. 

“Long day, sweetheart?” Serena’s voice filled the quiet room with her warm and familiar timbre.

The stress of the day fell away and she was home.


	35. inconvenient

Neither woman truly understood why Hanssen had insisted that they both attend the conference - it was costing him a fortune to get the pair of them there, and it was only about trauma maintenance so there was really no need for Serena to be there at all. And to top it all off, he’d brought in a locus consultant to cover the ward for the weekend in order to accommodate them both being away, he’d even splashed out on rooms in The Marlborough which was far more expensive than either of them had expected. 

Rather frustratingly, their train had been delayed and they hadn’t arrived in Edinburgh until 2o’clock, only half an hour before the conference began, so they had headed straight over without dropping their bags at the hotel. The flaws of public transport were certain to keep them on their toes, both in and out of Holby. 

“Right on time, I’d say,” Bernie stated as they made their way in to the back of the room, filled with chattering medical professionals. 

“Cutting it fine, but you always are.” Serena responded as the pair took seats beside one another in the back row. 

It wasn’t long until the speaking got underway, and from then the time seemed to fly by until suddenly it was 8 o’clock and they were heading to the free bar with every intent of a well-deserved glass of Shiraz. Bernie was uninterested in the prospect of going back to her hotel early and spending the evening watching television that she wasn’t really interested in, she’ d much rather keep a hold of Serena’s company for as long as she could. The two of them ended up having quite a few drinks, and soon enough the bar was empty aside from them so they decided to call it a night. 

Lugging their belongings through the venue, they hailed the first cab they saw and asked for the Marlborough. It wasn’t far, only a few minutes drive, and it wasn’t going to come to much by anybody’s standards so Bernie let it slip when Serena handed over a couple of notes to the driver as they pulled up outside of the door. 

“I’m gonna have a fag before I head up, I’ll see you in the morning.“ Bernie uttered as she drew her pack of cigarettes from her pocket and plucked one out. “Meet at half eight for breakfast, shall we say?”

“Sounds good to me, I’ll see you in the morning.” The brunette replied warmly as she headed for the door and walked in to the foyer, approaching the desk. “Serena Campbell, double room.“

“Of course, Ms Campbell, just one second.” The smiling receptionist answered as he typed in her details, only to come up blank which was obvious in his face. “I’m afraid we’ve got nothing on the system for you, do you have your booking reference with you?”

“No, my employed booked the room for me. I- I can’t believe this! Have you got any other rooms and I’ll book one now?” Serena asked, mildly distressed though she wouldn’t let it show. 

“I’m afraid we’re fully booked madam, there’s a medical conference in town so we’ve been quite busy.” His response was timid, as though he could sense that she was about to boil over. “We can call to our alternate venue - it’s on the other side of the city and they don’t often get the business that we do with these events. I can’t see anything on our records under your name so it’s no fault of ours I’m afraid. Would you like me to check availability over at the Radisson for you?”

“Well it doesn’t look like I’ve got another option!’ Serena exclaimed snappily, not noticing the presence of her colleague beside her in that moment, and she almost jumped when the blonde reached for her shoulder. 

“Everything alright, Serena?” Bernie questioned concernedly, familiar with the look upon Serena and aware that it was never a good sign. 

“Henrik hasn’t booked me a room - i don’t know if he’s booked you one, but if not then we’re going to have to find somewhere else to stay the night. I swear, I’m going to kill him when we get back to Holby!” Serena’s tone was sharp as she shot daggers towards the quiet young man across the desk. “Check for Bernie Wolfe, would you? Need to know whether we’re searching for one room or two.“

Anxiously, the twenty-something reached for the keyboard and hashed in the details, only to come up with a match. Reaching under the desk for the keycard, he handed it over to the blonde with a hesitant smile. 

“Just share my room Serena, I’m not having you traipsing around Edinburgh at lord knows what time of night trying to find somewhere to stay! We’re both adults after all, and I’m sure a night in the same room isn’t going to kill us. Come on, let’s just get upstairs and get some rest, leave the poor man alone, ey? I think you’ve terrified him half to death.“ Bernie suggested, already walking away from the desk and refusing to take no for an answer. 

Though there was hesitation in her steps, Serena knew there was no alternative for her at this point and she knew that Bernie wasn’t going to leave her in the lurch no matter how far she argued the point. 

“You really don’t have to, Bernie. I can find somewhere else,” The brunette uttered awkwardly as the pair of them entered the lift and it all came flooding back to the last time things had felt this tense in a lift. “It’s not like I can’t make Henrik reimburse me no matter how much it costs!” 

“Stop fussing! It’s fine!” Bernie’s words were assured, unwavering. 

As the lift came to a halt on the third floor, the two women stepped out in to the corridor and started scanning the numbers on each of the doors until they found 133 and unlocked the door. The bed was big…that, at least, was a relief. Bernie stooped to drop her bags down beside the door and slipped her jacket off her shoulders casually while Serena stood awkwardly, nudging the door closed with her foot. Neither of them were entirely sober, so when Bernie almost tripped over the foot of the bed and sent them both in to a fit of giggles, it was no surprise that the tension fell away effortlessly. 

Flopping back on to the bed, Serena kicked off her shoes and sighed loudly. Things hadn’t been the same ever since the kiss, no matter how much they tried to pretend that it hadn’t changed things, and knowing that they were going to be sharing the same bed certainly didn’t put either party’s mind at rest. Every touch and glance had gained some ever-important meaning and the prospect of sleeping so close to one another was more than slightly terrifying. In the realisation that it could somewhat compromise her, Bernie reached for the pillow on the left side of the bed and dropped it on to the floor, reaching for the comforter which was lain neatly across the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Serena enquired curiously, turning her head to see the blonde making up a bed upon the carpet. “You’re not sleeping down there, it’s your room! I’ll take the floor, especially with your back. The bed’s yours, Bernie, don’t argue with me on this!”

“Serena, it’s fine. Honestly, I’ve slept in worse places, it’s only for one night and I’d never cast you on to the floor. Stop fussing!“ Bernie responded, drawing her nightwear from her bag and slipping in to the en suite to change. 

When she emerged only a couple of minutes later, Serena was in a slinky night gown with her legs exposed and Bernie almost staggered backwards in to the doorframe at the sight. The two women made a moment’s eye contact before Serena cleared her throat decisively and shifted around to the right side of the bed.

“You’re not sleeping down there, Bernie, I won’t let you. I’m sure we can manage one night in the same bed. We’re both grown-ups, aren’t we?” Serena’s level tone settled in Bernie’s ears and the blonde knew there was no way that she was going to get out of the situation unless she waited until Serena was asleep and then moved. Reluctantly, the blonde climbed in to the far side of the bed and slipped beneath the duvet, almost yelping when her foot accidentally caught Serena’s own. 

Reaching behind her head for the light switch, Serena cast the room in to darkness before moving to face inwards with her head rested against the pillow. Bernie shifted herself in a similar fashion so that the two women were looking directly at one another though it was too dark for either of them to know. Serena could barely make out Bernie’s silhouette in the darkness, and that obscure sense of anonymity along with the wine raring her on, was what her drove her to edge forward. 

In one swift movement, Serena had closed the gap between her and Bernie and her lips were upon the blonde’s. The kiss was tender, and all of the pent up emotions of the past weeks’ was poured in to it as Bernie rose up on to her elbow to deepen the kiss. It was uncertain how long it lasted with no sense of time in the pitch black room, but when they broke apart they simply slept. 

Returning to the hospital the next evening, Serena stormed upstairs to moan at Henrik for his lack of organisation. Yelling that he should at least make sure he’s figured out the technicalities if he’s going to send two of his best consultants to Scotland, only to hear his response. 

“I made the assumption that only the one room would be required, I’m terribly sorry if I was wrong.”


	36. jealous

“You don’t mind if I get off a little early, do you?” Serena asked as she signed off the last of her paperwork. “I’m meeting up with an old friend for dinner and he’s supposed to be picking me up at 7.”

“Sure, I’ve got things under control here,” Bernie responded quickly, eyes locked on her computer screen so that her glare wasn’t caught by Serena. It wasn’t that she was jealous, she didn’t have the right to be jealous when it came to Serena, but she was allowed to question why she hadn’t mentioned it earlier. The two normally shared everything, and that was the way it had been almost since the beginning of their friendship so the fact that she had suddenly changed her behaviours now made Bernie all the more suspicious that there was something she wasn’t letting on about. 

“I’m in first thing in the morning so I’m just going to come back here afterwards and sleep in the on-call room, so I’ll see you in a couple of hours I expect,” Serena finished before stepping out of the office with her handbag on her arm. 

Despite the fact that she knew Serena was going to get on with her life after the kiss, that she wasn’t going to remain hung up on some waning possibility that she could like women, she nevertheless, it had caught Bernie unawares to see her going out with another man only weeks afterwards. Of course, Bernie had no one to blame but herself - she was the one who had said they should pretend it never happened, even if she was only doing what she knew Serena wanted. There was no point in sulking about it now, she’d missed her chance and there was no point in taking it out on Serena that she’d been too cowardly to act upon her feelings. 

A few minutes later, Serena passed the office door with a man on her arm; she was in a simple purple blouse that spilled low enough to show off her ample cleavage, and a pair of tailored trousers that emphasised the curvature of her hips delectably. Swallowing down her desire, Bernie sighed before returning her concentration to her work with every intention to make sure that didn’t think about Serena in any manner other than the professional one for the next two hours at least. 

The shift was quiet, painfully so, with only a couple of post-ops and a Darwin transfer on the ward, which meant that Bernie was left to stew with her own thoughts in the evening light. After only 45 minutes, Bernie made her way downstairs for a fag break and tried to shake off unwelcome thoughts about the brunette as she drew smoke into her lungs and held it hostage there in the hope that it might intoxicate her with something other than Serena’s image. 

It felt as though the night dragged on forever, and the clocks seemed to have been drawn to a halt on a number of occasions, but still time passed and eventually nine o’clock arrived. There was no guarantee that Serena would be precisely two hours, she had only spoken approximately yet somehow Bernie had been expecting her to spill on to the ward with just a little Shiraz in her blood as the clock struck nine, The minutes ticked on and the blonde was getting anxious, facing the internal battle of worrying about Serena’s whereabouts, and telling herself that she was being ridiculous. 

“Bernie!” A familiar voice exclaimed, drawing the surgeon from her thoughts and causing her to look up towards the door where stood a somewhat tipsy Serena Campbell. “Good shift? Exciting? Did I miss anything much?”

“Let’s get you to the on-call room shall we? Shift in 10 hours, I’m not sure you’re going to want to be doing it with a hangover so what we’ll do is we’ll get you in to bed and I’ll tell you about everything you missed in the morning! Sound good?” Bernie suggested in an almost belittling tone though it wasn’t intended that way, standing up from her desk to corral the brunette towards the room across the ward and guiding her towards the bed where she almost hit her head against the wall on her way towards the pillow. “I’ll go and get you a glass of water and some painkillers, and then you can get some rest, alright?”

Even as she cared for a slightly inebriated Serena, Bernie couldn’t help but grind her teeth at the prospect of someone else buying the brunette glass after glass of Shiraz. His hand atop hers across the table, his arm around her waist as he no doubt guided her to a taxi and paid her fare, his words filling her ears all evening. 

Setting the glass of water beside a grumbling Serena, Bernie ran her fingers through the brunette’s short hair and smiled weakly. He would never get to do this. She thought, though knowing full well if the night had been successful, it could be the one to look after Serena every night for the rest of their lives. The mere prospect of anyone else looking after Serena made Bernie shudder. Ignoring the voice in the back of her mind that told her she was being selfish, Bernie simply pulled the thin blanket up to Serena’s chin and watched as the brunette quickly fell asleep, nestling in to the pillow. 

The next morning, the blonde was roused from her nap upon the office couch before dawn. Serena came tumbling through the door, full of the joys of spring, and greeted her colleague warmly. 

“So, last night went well then?” Bernie asked, trying not to pry despite her desperate need for answers. “Second-date worthy?”

“It wasn’t a date, Bern’,“ Serena commented almost obviously, narrowing her eyes at the barely conscious blonde who still laid across the sofa. “Where the hell did you get that idea? Mark’s an old uni friend, he’s gay…like pink feather boa gay.”

Bernie glanced over to meet her gaze with surprise in her expression, and the brunette was approaching her. Sitting down beside her on the narrow piece of furniture, Serena didn’t allow her to break eye contact as she arched an eyebrow almost expectantly. 

“I just, assumed, I guess-” The blonde uttered awkwardly, feeling a little embarrassed to have jumped to such a conclusion and sensing the blush rising in her cheeks. 

“You and your silly assumptions,” Serena responded, leaning forward to peck the blonde’s lips easily before jumping up and striding out of the office casually.


	37. kickboxing

“You may as well come in - you’re only going to be sat out here for an hour and you know full well that you’ll get bored and want to come in late anyway,” Bernie pointed out as the two of them crossed the foyer and Serena made for the cafe where she could take a seat and drink coffee while casually daydreaming about everything she could do with her time apart from martial arts. Despite the fact that she made off in the direction of the cafe, she found herself suddenly changing direction when Bernie’s hand took her own and pulled her towards the lift. 

“I really am not interested in doing this, Bernie. I would much rather just wait out here for you, you know what I could even go home and come back to get you in an hour! It’ll be no trouble, really Bernie!” Serena’s tone was almost insistent as she tried to find a way out of the somewhat awkward predicament. “You go ahead, and I’ll see you later on.”

Somehow, despite her arguing against the idea, Serena ended being dragged in to the class and found herself being kitted out to join in with the class. Bernie was stood beside her looking considerably more enthusiastic about the situation in which she had been placed. It made the brunette wonder whether she would ever find something that Bernie didn’t take to like a duck to water, it was very unlikely if the evidence was anything to go by. Aware of her qualms, Bernie made sure to stick close by her girlfriend and offered to pair up with her for pads work. 

“There’s nothing to it, just swing your fist round and punch the mitt,” Bernie seemed so matter-of-fact, while the mere prospect of trying to aim her fists at an isolated target made Serena feel like a complete amateur. “Just go for it!”

Without hesitation, Serena made a shot for the left pad but managed to swipe straight past it and found her fist colliding with Bernie’s forearm. Luckily, she had very little muscle in her arms so it was unlikely to leave a bruise and Bernie had a high pain threshold though it wasn’t called upon. Clamping down on her own laughter, the blonde reset her stance and nodded towards her girlfriend to try again - this time, she at least caught the mitt with the side of her fist though it still failed miraculously. 

“Bernie, I told you this was hopeless..just leave me be!” Serena exclaimed, trying to yank the gloves off her hands though she struggled. “Help me with these!”

“‘Rena, you’re doing fine - stop fussing about it and just try! It’s not like anyone’s judging you!” Bernie responded reassuringly though her words wavered under the strain of holding back her laughter. “Stop worrying and just try a couple more times!“

Eventually, Serena managed to get the hang of it, though she still had no force behind her hits and they certainly weren’t on the mark with each blow. Moving on to kicks was when things got messy, the brunette managed to tumble over at least half a dozen times but she managed to prevent any serious damage being done. Trying for a simple side kick, Serena managed to lose her balance once again and ended up flat on her back with Bernie stood over her looking mildly concerned. 

“Can we call it a day yet?” Serena grumbled as she forced herself up off the ground, resetting her stance in a bid to stay upright. “We can happily conclude that this is your forte, and my talents lie elsewhere.”

“Come on, Serena! I just try a few jabs, it won’t do you any harm!” Bernie suggested as she held up the mitts patiently. 

In the hopes that soon Bernie would accept that she was useless and let her go about her life, Serena shot a jab towards the blonde but missed magnificently and struck her straight across the jaw. Bernie’s eyes were wide as she lifted her hand - padded though it was - to her jaw and hissed as she made contact. The skin there was already reddening and it was no doubt going to bruise, and Serena felt a sense of overwhelming guilt as she yanked off the gloves and dropped them to the floor unceremoniously. 

Without a word, the blonde forced the mitts off of her hands and cast them to the ground before allowing Serena to guide her out of the hall and towards the toilets. Patting the sink unit, Serena watched as Bernie hopped up on to the side and cradled her sore face in her hands. Serena tilted her girlfriend’s head up, tipping her chin with her fingers as she closely inspected the injured area and quickly assessed that it was just bruised and there was no serious damage done. 

“Do you think home sounds like a good idea now?” The brunette suggested, her tone slightly sarcastic as she glanced her fingers gently over Bernie’s sharp jawline. “Maybe you should listen to me next time I suggest that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for me to involve myself in one of your reckless hobbies, hmm?”

Rolling her eyes, Bernie slipped off the side so her foot touched the ground and leaned in to place a gentle kiss against the apple of Serena’s cheek. Catching the brunette’s eyeliner as she pulled away, Bernie smiled weakly and took Serena’s hand in her own.

As they passed by the reception, the man behind the desk shot the pair of them a meaningful look before returning to his paperwork. Bernie had her lips tightly pursed as she held back laughter while Serena simply tried to tone down the blush against her own cheeks as embarrassment filled her every thought. 

Safe to say that Serena would definitely be waiting in the cafe next week…and for every week to come.


	38. luggage

It had been a long and stressful day for both women, neither of them knowing exactly what to say to the other as the day came to a close. They’d kissed…again, and it wasn’t rushed and fumbling and in the heat of the moment this time. There was a tenseness between them as they silently packed up for the day ready to leave, Serena had effectively exposed them to the entire ward and Bernie had effectively turned her down for Kiev. Nevertheless, Serena had said she would drive her to the airport. 

“Ready to go?” Serena asked softly, careful to steady her tone as she gathered her belongings and stood up to leave. 

“Cam sorted everything out for me, he shoved everything he thinks I’ll need in a suitcase and left it behind the counter at Pulses.” Bernie responded, desperate to keep the conversation light as she swiped up the photo frame - containing a picture of her, Serena, Raf, Fletch and Morven from a night in Albies months ago - which sat upon her desk and slipped it in to her bag. “Let’s get going.”

Hesitantly, the blonde slipped out of the office with Serena close behind her and felt a tug in her chest as she left for what was likely to be the last time in weeks at least. Catching her lip between her teeth, she glanced across the ward and rendered a watery smile as Serena shut the door and made for the lift. The journey downstairs was silent, neither of them knowing quite what to say in that moment, and even as she collected her suitcase from the barista, Bernie remained wordless. 

“What time’s your flight?” Serena questioned as she watched Bernie hoist her case in to the car boot and slammed it shut. 

It felt like a bittersweet ending as they entered the car and knew that Serena was driving Bernie away from Holby, in the most literal sense. At least she was there, that was the only consolation she could muster as she bit back heartbreak and shoved the keys into the ignition. 

“10:30, Hanssen said.” The blonde uttered absent-mindedly as she allowed her eyes to trail the hospital grounds with a waning observation that this was goodbye…for the time being at least. It had become home, this place, and leaving it behind felt like the most unnatural thing in the world. 

The drive felt a lot longer than it realistically was; the tires dragged along the tarmac slowly as though they themselves were trying to cling to lingering moments before Bernie left. Pulling in to the airport, Serena felt a physical urge to turn around - to drive away from the airport in that moment and keep circling with Bernie until the flight had gone and the thought of leaving was a distant memory. But she stopped herself and she pulled up to the entrance. 

“Enjoy Ukraine.” Serena offered weakly. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Bernie swallowed down her emotion as she took the brunette’s hand in her own and drew it towards her mouth to press a firm kiss against her knuckles. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” The blonde sounded almost as though she was trying to convince herself, moreso than the woman sat across from her. Pursing her lips tightly, she released her grasp on Serena’s hand and opened the door. Her movement to collect her case was swift, and as she made a fleeting goodbye, she slammed closed the car boot and exhaled heavily before pacing anxiously towards the doors. 

She didn’t let herself breathe again until she was in the queue for customs, and as she did, she felt the lump rising in her throat paired with a familiar tightening in her chest. Bernie tried to tell herself that it was for the best, that space to figure out who they were was going to be good for both of them, but she didn’t believe a word of it. When it boiled down to it, she knew what she wanted…and it wasn’t Ukraine. Yanked from her thoughts, she could’ve sworn she heard someone call her name, yet she dismissed it as overzealous hopefulness and closed the gap between her and the gentleman stood in front of her. 

“Bernie!” Snapping her head around, her blonde curls swiped her cheek and she heard the click of her still tender neck. It was busy, obscenely so, and there was no way to identify where the voice had come from but she had definitely heard it, and she knew who’s it was. “BERNIE! Please-”

Breaking out of the bustling stream of people, Serena Campbell hurried towards the blonde with tears streaking her crimson cheeks. 

“Serena-“ Bernie breathed worriedly, outstretching her arms to catch the brunette in her embrace. “What’s wrong?”

Yanking herself away from Bernie’s hold, Serena stepped back to meet familiar brown eyes and swallowed down her tears before mustering the courage to form a sentence. 

“I couldn’t let you just go. I couldn’t watch you walk away and not even try to stop you…I would never forgive myself. You feel like leaving’s for the best, and I understand that but I couldn’t let you leave thinking that I was okay with it…I’m not okay with it. I-I don’t want you to go.” Serena uttered, the flesh of her forearm burning under Bernie’s gentle hold. “I told you I was in love with you today, and now you’ve decided you’re going to move 1600 miles away from me - I need to know that you don’t want this so I can find a way to get past it. I need to hear the words.”

“I-I can’t say it.” Bernie replied, her tone broken as she stumbled over her words. “I can’t tell you I don’t want you…because you’re the one person in the world that I can’t lie to.” 

The tannoy called that the Kiev flight would be ready for boarding in approximately an hour, and those words broke the moment as Bernie’s fingers slipped weakly from Serena’s wrist and she stepped away, her eyes saying all the things that her voice box couldn’t quite manage. Goosebumps lined Serena’s bare wrist and she felt as though they’d be there for days, the last lingering sign of Bernie as she put miles between them. The blonde clamped down her teeth and tried to ignore the blurring edges of her vision as she stepped away from Serena, feeling as though it was the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

“Don’t go-” Serena almost whispered, words desperate and coarse as she pleaded with herself to leave now with her dignity in tow. Every ounce of her being was telling her to turn away, telling her that Bernie’s decision made clear that she wasn’t interested but somehow she was still here. Still pleading with a lost cause because nothing in the world could feel more dreadful than losing Bernie, than watching her leave if there was even a fleeting possibility that it could work. 

“I need to…for both of us.” Bernie offered calmly, a weak smile plastered across her face that failed to reach her eyes. “It’s only a couple of months, then I’ll be back and we can figure this out. We need some time, you especially do - I’ll be back, okay? And everything’ll make so much more sense.”

Serena eagerly reached up to push her own lips against Bernie’s, burying her hand desperately in blonde curls as she lost herself in the kiss. Releasing Bernie’s lips, she rested their foreheads against one another and met the blonde’s eyes with a warm sense of understanding resting there. Loosening her grip on the other woman’s neck, she dropped her hand to her side and watched as Bernie reluctantly walked towards the gate before glancing back with sadness tinging her expression.


	39. moving in

Bernie’s spine was cripplingly sore as she stood up to go home, knocking back the last of her whiskey as she looked towards Serena with love in her eyes. Biting down on her cheek, she straightened herself out and strode tentatively towards the door. For the first time since they’d ‘got together’, Serena was spending the night at Bernie’s flat with Jason saying over at a now fully-recovered Alan’s house, and the blonde could not have been less enthralled by the idea. 

“Taxi back to yours?” Serena suggested easily, passing through the door and approaching the first cab she saw with Bernie close behind her. “Gardner Road, please.”

The blonde was forced to ignore the way her back protested, seating herself cautiously in the low suspension of the cab and swallowing back the ache which threatened to strike agony at any given moment. Her posture was stoic and tense as she stiffened further with every bump in the road, biting back her grumbling as they approached her flat. Casually, Serena handed over a tenner to the bloke in the driver’s seat, and slipped out of the car before rounding it to find Bernie bracing herself to ascend the curb. Narrowing her eyes, Serena helped her girlfriend up the low step and disguised the movement by resting her arm high around the waist of the blonde and leaving it there as the two made their way towards the main doors. 

Extracting her keyring from her coat pocket, Bernie unlocked the door and waited for Serena to walk through it first before closing it behind her. In the knowledge that the brunette wasn’t going to shut up about it if she knew, Bernie steeled herself against the discomfort sitting between her vertebrae and started to stride overeagerly up each flight of stairs. Six flights up and Bernie came to a halt, almost staggering towards the door to her left; emblazoned with a pair of faded brass number twos and coated with peeling gloss paint. Forcing the key harshly in to the lock, Bernie leant in to the wood and shoved it open before stepping inside. 

“Sorry about the mess, you know how I feel about tidying.” The blonde uttered awkwardly as Serena crossed the threshold and tried, though her attempts fell amiss, to look indifferent. 

It wasn’t the clothes scattered haphazardly across the floor or the unwashed dishes that filled the sink, that was all to be expected. It was the damp that scattered each corner of the ceiling and the rust that crept upon the taps, and how generally small and uncomfortable the place seemed. Bernie wasn’t completely strapped for cash - she had a decent paying job, and the divorce settlement had ended up relatively fair - and it seemed entirely unlikely that this was the best Bernie could afford, yet somehow this was where she had ended up. 

“It’s very small.” Serena commented speculatively as she glanced towards the bed. 

“It isn’t as though I’m here very much. I spend at least two nights a week sleeping in the on call room and recently I spend an awful lot of time at yours as well, I’m only ever here to sleep so it doesn’t matter all that much to me.” Bernie reasoned as she swiped up two wine glasses from the draining board and rinsed them under the tap. “I haven’t slept here in almost two weeks.”

Sauntering towards the bed and setting herself upon the edge of it, Serena found herself tense as she felt a spring shoot up to almost impale her in the backside. 

“No wonder! Bernie, you really ought to find somewhere at least a little better!” Serena chastised as she readjusted her posture to try and find a spot of bed which wasn’t quite so uncomfortable. “It can’t be the money, I know it’s not that so tell me!” 

“It’s nothing really, I just-” Bernie began, pausing to fill each wine glass before carrying them towards the bed and handing one to Serena. “I’ve never lived alone, not in all my life, and I’ve come to learn that I’m not very good at it. So it seems silly to be investing money in a place where I intend to spend as little time as possible.” 

“You’ve never lived alone?” Serena questioned curiously, sipping from her glass as Bernie perched close beside her. 

“I went straight from living with my parents, to roommates at uni, to living with Marcus, to army bunks. Before moving in here, I’d never even had a double bed to myself!” Bernie responded, scoffing a little at herself for realising just how dependent she was upon others. “I’ve found that I’m not the best company to keep, so I tend to avoid extended periods of time alone.”

“Well I think you’re marvellous company to keep!” Serena commented sweetly before setting her glass down upon the bedside cabinet. “Now, all those stairs certainly aren’t helping your back. And you can pretend all you like but I know full well that it isn’t fine, so let me take a look!” 

Resolutely, Bernie collapsed back on to the bed before rolling over and relaxing upon the delectably sharp and disagreeable mattress. The blonde closed her eyes as she felt the brunette shift so that she sat astride Bernie’s thighs, revelling in the familiar warmth of Serena close behind her. As skilled hands worked across her tender muscles, she grunted and groaned as Serena gave the odd comment about taking better care of herself. Kneading pale flesh through the thin fabric of Bernie’s shirt, Serena swallowed thickly as she glanced over the particularly sore area in the curve of her spine and tried gently to ease the knots there. 

The state of Bernie’s back, the state of the flat; all of it added up and made Serena question whether her girlfriend could really be in a good place with so much to worry about. Filling her lungs with air contemplatively, she paused in her ministrations before coming to a confident decision and nodding firmly. As she did what she could for Bernie’s back, her mind whirred with possibility and anxiety alike until she shook off her concerns and stood up eagerly. The blonde reared her head curiously at the sudden and unexplained loss of contact, only to see a very familiar look upon Serena’s face…the look of determination that was just marginally threatening. 

“Start packing your bags.” Serena stated, no hesitation in her tone as she reached for her glass and took a large gulp from it. 

“I- Serena?” Bernie stuttered as she forced herself upright. “What are you- I would never expect-”

“Stop fussing, start packing!” The brunette reiterated assuredly, offering Bernie a hand up absent-mindedly. “It’s not as though we haven’t waited long enough, we’ve been together months! And what’s that joke about the lesbian and the U-Haul?”


	40. nearby

The ward was crowded and uncomfortable, even breathing required room that they didn’t have to spare, and Bernie had a pounding headache. They’d received sixteen new admissions in the last two hours, and almost all of them needed surgical intervention so they were up to their ears in it. In OR2, Raf was doing a splenectomy which would switch out straight to a liver resection, while OR3 was occupied by Serena performing an emergency arterial repair which was proving much more time-consuming than she’d anticipated. 

“We need to take her straight in to surgery, let’s go!” Bernie exclaimed as she headed for the scrub room and started to wash her hands thoroughly. 

Assessing the patient had put her on edge, she knew what was required and while she wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the procedure, it was Serena’s forte and she’d never had to fly solo on it before. Needs must, she thought, but behind the bravado she couldn’t shake off the fear that something was going to go wrong since she didn’t have her colleague there beside her through it. Surgery was where she felt at ease, where she felt confident, yet suddenly she felt entirely unequipped to deal with the situation. 

The OR was warmer, clammy almost and the lights seemed blindingly bright, but Bernie swallowed her anxieties and nodded towards Morven decisively. Equipping herself with a scalpel, she made the first incision just below the knee and ran the blade along the length of the calf steadily. Calmly, she retracted the flesh to expose the muscle and took a deep breath at the state of the leg in front of her. Blood flow through the peroneal was almost non-existent, and as she tried to patch the damaged artery, she felt uncertainty threaten her movements. 

“Can we call Ms Campbell and see if she’s out of theatre yet please?” Bernie asked, trying to remain focused on the leg as the scrub nurse lifted the phone from the wall and placed the call. 

“She’s still in surgery, says she will be for at least another hour.” The younger woman offered timidly, holding her hand over the receiver as she waited for a response. 

“Put in on speaker,” Bernie ordered level-headedly, hearing as the low hum of static silence filled the room. “Serena, I could really use your help with this one.”

In a vague attempt to suture the torn artery, the blonde’s nimble fingers stitched the paper thin vessel only to watch it fall apart again beneath her hands. Serena would fix it, if she was there in the room then she would’ve been able to fix it. 

“Well, I’m knee deep in Mr Dartwood’s mesenteric right now. You’ve got things covered, haven’t you?” The brunette’s tone soft and curious as it filled the theatre. 

“Of course, it just- well this is what you’re best at so I feel rather out of my depth.” 

Morven’s eyes trailed the blonde anxiously, confidence waning as she saw the hesitation in her movements. Her digits fumbled awkwardly within the cavity, she once again tried to repair the damage but the way it collapsed beneath her fingers only served to further the fact that she was fighting an already lost battle. She could try for a graft, but it was unlikely to succeed in the circumstances. 

“Do you need me to step out? As soon as Raf’s finished I can get him to keep the patient stable and I can come and help you out,” Serena offered half-heartedly, sounding pre-occupied with her own situation. 

“No, I just want to get it over and done with. I think it’s best to cut our losses and take the leg, we’d need a miracle to save it.” Bernie answers despondently, exhaling heavily. “I’m gonna see what I can do with a graft but there isn’t much hope.” 

Almost as though they had forgotten about it, the two of them remained in silence over the phone as they worked. The blonde angrily tried to work with the graft though she knew failure was inevitable, and Serena struggled to focus on her own patient in the knowledge that Bernie required her help. Her routine was basic, free of complication in every sense and so she allowed her mind to wander just a little as she went through the motions. Bernie was fighting a losing battle, trying to see if she could save even part of the leg but resorted to an above-the-knee and summoned the bone saw despondently. 

Swallowing down her rage, Bernie completed the procedure without a hitch; forming a perfect stump with ease as it had become second nature to her over years of patching up amputation after amputation. The loss of such potential was one thing that Bernie had never come to terms with, despite years of dealing with it over and over again. Worse so in the knowledge that the leg probably could’ve been saved if only the situation marginally different; Bernie resented her inability to help. 

Serena being there, on the other end of the phone, was somewhat reassuring. If she’d been any further away, Bernie would’ve told her the tale and blamed herself for the loss but with her so close at hand, it felt unlikely. As theatre was cleared and the patient was wheeled to post-op, Bernie approached the phone where static silence continued to hum, the occasional clink of steel against bone piercing the noiseless room. Biting her lip harshly, the blonde drew in a deep breath of resolution and reached up to end the call. Fingers threatening the button as they hovered close to it, reluctant in their decision as Bernie let her head fall against the wall weakly. 

“I’ll see you when you get out of surgery.” She stated calmly, hanging up before she could receive a response and leaving the empty room.


	41. october

Normally they would’ve stayed home tonight - over the months of their relationship developing the trips to Albies had become less and less frequent. Somehow Morven had persuaded them that they’d be missing out on an awful lot of fun if they didn’t at least give it a look in, so they’d agreed. To Serena’s dismay, her girlfriend was an all-or-nothing type of person so, in the space of an evening, she found herself sacrificing a night in front of the television with a bottle of wine for a night out in fancy dress!

Somehow, Bernie had convinced her that going as Morticia and Gomez though Serena could think of nothing less enticing than the prospect of spending her evening watching her juniors get so drunk they couldn’t walk, and likely having to look after them if she herself managed to remain sober enough that she was able. She had forced Bernie to organise everything in the hope that somehow she would mess up drastically and the pair of them would have an excuse not to go, or at least not to go looking like complete idiots. 

Bernie had maintained the same figure for decades, it was unquestionable that she could pull off any cheap lycra number she bought from eBay but Serena wasn’t in the same shape; she had bingo wings and a tummy and thunder thighs, and she wasn’t going to be made a fool of in the name of good sportsmanship. It wasn’t as though anyone was going to judge her if she didn’t put in quite as much effort, she’d never even bothered to attend anymore so it was a step in the right direction. Fletch and Raf had been positively enthused by the idea of Serena attending - they’d be trying to persuade her every year that a proper family celebration was what they all needed by the time October came around. 

It was only a couple of nights before when the costumes finally arrived, and Serena was ready to send them back and claim that they weren’t the right size just so she didn’t have to wear them in public. She felt completely abhorrent and she certainly was not braced to walk into Albies dressed in nothing but such a tight black dress that clung to her in all the wrong places. Looking in the mirror was probably the worst decision she’d ever made, it took every ounce of her willpower not to tear it from her body there and then but she knew that there had to be a more strategic way to get around going. 

Unsurprisingly, Bernie loved her costume and as soon as she put it on, she insisted upon wearing it for the rest of the evening. Even at the dinner table, Jason glanced towards her oddly as she ate her meal and was careful not to drip any gravy down the front of her new favourite outfit. Serena certainly wasn’t going to complain - it clung delectably tightly to Bernie’s backside and hugged her muscular thighs in a way that made Serena’s stomach start doing flips. It was a relief to know that Bernie was so caught up in her own enthusiasm to notice the lack in Serena’s behaviour. 

“I want to see you in yours! We can take pictures to show the guys tomorrow and see what they think!” Bernie suggested gleefully as she placed the last of the cutlery into the dishwasher. “Go and get changed!”

“It’s supposed to be a surprise Bern’, big reveal on the night and all that!” Serena exclaimed in response, trying to mask her anxieties though she was failing miserably. The blonde could tell that something was wrong but she wasn’t going to push the issue just yet, she had time to figure it out before she needed to worry too much. There were another 48 hours to make sure that Serena was ready and raring to go for the party, two entire days to make sure everything was going to plan. 

The next two days ran smoothly, with Serena coming up with excuse after excuse to avoid putting her costume back on. Bernie was just a little too caught up in all the festivities to really take note of the fact. It was with enviable ease that Bernie slipped into her costume and ran her fingers through her hair, confidently standing in front of the mirror and waiting for Serena to start getting changed. 

“I’ve got so many discharge papers to sign off, it’s going to take me forever and I won’t have time tomorrow. Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll join you once I’m finished?” Serena suggested eagerly as she tried to angle her way out of changing. “I’ll only be an hour or two.”

“Serena,” Bernie uttered softly, attention drawn away from her reflection as she glanced toward the brunette. “What is it that’s got you so tied up? It’s obvious you don’t want to go but you were at least amiable to the idea until only a few days ago! Is there something I don’t know about?”

“No, of course not, I just- parties aren’t really my thing anymore,” Serena answered unconvincingly, balling up the bag which contained her costume and dropping it into one of the open lockers bordering the room. 

“Is it your costume?” Bernie questioned, picking up on all the hints that she had missed over the past days. “Do you not like it? Because you could’ve said something before I ordered if you really didn’t want to do it. I know it was a bit of a silly idea, but it was all that I could think of.”

“No - it’s not that- I just…” Serena fell silent as Bernie crossed the room to place an encouraging hand on her arm. “I’m not a big fan of how I look in it. It’s nothing drastic, I just- think that it’s made for someone much younger and slimmer than I have ever been.”

Pursing her lips, Bernie reached into the locker to draw out the bag and offered it to Serena. 

“You are beautiful - stunning and sexy and beautiful; I am probably going to collapse the moment I see you in this because I know how glorious you’ll look in it. Trust me when I say that there is nothing in the world that I could possibly find more stunning.” The blonde reassured warmly, without a glimmer of hesitation in her tone. “But if you don’t want to wear it, then you don’t have to. It isn’t obligatory and no one’s going to look down on you if you choose to go in a shirt.”

“I don’t want to let anyone down- I just- well, to be frank, my thighs have never looked so huge in all my life. I want to go- with you- and have a good time but I’m scared.” Serena settled shyly, looking down at her hands and considering what she was going to do. “What if they laugh? God, I sound like such a child, I’ve dealt with far worse than people judging my appearance. I don’t know why I’m letting it get to me, forget it! Give me a minute and we’ll head over there.”

“Being scared isn’t something to be ashamed of, you’re the one that taught me that. But if anyone dared to even look at you wrong, you know that I would have them on the floor in five seconds flat without a second thought.”

Serena wordlessly slipped out of her clothes and pulled the outfit over her head, biting her lip as she straightened it out before turning to face Bernie. The blonde’s jaw drop may have been misconstrued if it weren’t for the blush rising in her cheeks and the way she stumbled over her own words. Smirking coyly, Bernie crossed the room and let her hands come to settle on Serena’s luscious hips, squeezing them eagerly as she kissed Serena hungrily and pushed her up against the lockers. 

A knock on the door interrupted them as Raf poked his head around the door in an Indiana Jones costume, yanking them back to reality.


	42. poker

It was supposed to be light-hearted, a fun way to fill an otherwise empty night, but they knew it wouldn’t end that way. The pair of them were far too competitive to let it be a fondly remembered evening at any time in the near future. It had been months since either of them played, let alone together, but Bernie had found the pack of playing cards in the kitchen drawer and felt inspired. 

“Come on then! Ready to be beaten?” Serena teased as she settled in the seat, sat forward and leaning over the table. “What are we playing for?”

“Strip feels appropriate, there’s going to have be some sort of recompense for you when you’re taking the loss badly.” Bernie flirted as she shuffled the deck with skilled hands and started to deal. 

Arching her eyebrow and running her tongue across her teeth, Serena took the cards up sweepingly in her palm and kept a firm poker face that could impress even the steeliest of army majors. 

As she drew her own hand close to her chest, Bernie pursed her lips tightly and caught the familiar gaze of her lover. 

“The shirt of your back, soldier.” The brunette offered confidently. 

“Check.” Bernie responded, tapping the coffee table before turning over the first three cards on the table. 

"I'll take that t-shirt too." Serena murmured as she kept her eyes fixed intently on her hand, flicking occasionally to those sat on the wood. "Ready to show a little skin, Ms Wolfe?"

Bernie smirked at the way her tone lowered seductively as her confidence grew. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and knocked on the smooth oak twice, reaching to flip the penultimate card and exposing an ace of clubs. Without a second's pause, Serena leant and tapped two knuckles before looking up through her lashes at the blonde. 

With her knees drawn close together, the blonde reached calmly for the last card and upturned it to show a four of hearts. Wordlessly, the two women lay their cards down on the table - a straight in clubs for Serena, and four of a kind in aces for Bernie. As she tried to hide the annoyance on her face, Serena begrudgingly pulled her cardigan off her shoulders to expose her tan shoulders before reaching for the hem of her tank top and peeling it slowly up her torso and over her head. 

Sat in her bra and trousers, Serena reached for the deck and swept up the cards from the table, shuffling them brusquely before dealing the next hand. 

Bernie lost her shirt and tee. Serena lost her trousers. Bernie lost both socks. Serena lost her bra. Serena lost her pants. Game over.

A pout clung to her lips as defeat stung her, reaching for her top to throw it on when she felt Bernie's hands at the small of her waist. Inhaling sharply at the touch of cold fingers against her warm skin, she paused for a moment before putting her arms into the garment. Stopped by a kiss on her shoulder and the gentle whisper of unheard words, she dropped her arms and turned her head just an inch. 

"I do believe the loser was promised recompense." The timbre of Bernie's voice reverberated against Serena's skin as the blonde's chin rested on her shoulder. Despite the cotton of the taller woman's bra acting as a barrier, Serena still felt the bare flesh of her midriff pressed against her. "And I have a prize to claim."

Serena still had a tendency towards take-it-to-the-grave grudges, but she'd certainly lightened up these past months. There was a real possibility in her mind that love was going to ruin her reputation, but she didn't care anymore. Rolling her eyes, she mentally gave up the fight in the knowledge that it wasn't worth it to miss out on this. It wasn't worth it to be angry with Bernie Wolfe when she had so much love to offer no matter your mood. The trick was simply to let yourself thrive on it and accept that it was impossible to be frustrated with her for more than a few moments. 

Turning around, she let a smile graze her lips before stretching her right arm to unhook Bernie's bra from behind and let it slide from her body. Her head tilted upwards just so, the brunette pressed her mouth to her girlfriend's tenderly and lifted her hand to tangle her fingers in blonde curls before pulling back. 

"I believe I am to be compensated." She uttered, allowing her digits to slip down the contours of Bernie's cheek before stepping back and picking up the forgotten wine glass from her side of the table. Raising it to her lips, she let it fill her mouth and glide down the back of her throat before grinning mischievously in a way that made Bernie's knees quiver. "I'll be upstairs when you are ready to make payment." 

With all the charisma and elegance of a cat, she slinked out of the room as Bernie's eyes trailed her, unable to look away from the way the dim light of the room cast shadows against the curves and slopes of her silhouette. Bernie was fast to lock up the house and head upstairs, eager to pay her debts.


	43. quidditch

It had been a very hard collision, and then nothing. Waking up in the hospital wing, Serena couldn’t be entirely sure what had happened, but she knew that she had definitely got the quaffle through the hoop before she went down. 

As she came around and her eyes slid open cautiously, she saw Lucinda - the blonde-haired captain of the team - looking at her from the foot of the bed with a concerned expression. 

“Are you alright, Campbell?” She questioned softly. “Took a hell of a hit from that bludger, and it sent you flying into that keeper! We won though, well done on that last shot, everyone wants to come and see you but I told them that you needed to rest up first.” 

“I’m-I’m fine. My head hurts but I’m okay. Where’s Madame Pomfrey? Where’s the Gryffindor I hit?” Serena asked, disorientated as she she dragged herself up the bed and rested her head comfortably against the pillows. 

“I’m right here, fine! Not like a snake to care about who gets caught in the crossfire.” A voice came from behind the partition curtain before it was swiped back to expose the familiar blonde girl that she had collided with. “Pomfrey went to get one of the seventh years, wants to show him how to heal a bone apparently. So I’m sat here with a broken arm until she gets back.” 

“Oh! Well, I’m sorry you, as you said, got caught in the crossfire, but I’d bet you five galleons that it was that Potter lad who sent that thing hurtling in my direction and slammed me into you!” Serena returned, unwilling to take responsibility for the accident. “You Gryffindors are so reckless, you don’t think twice about knocking someone off their broom as long as you win!” 

“Oi! You aren’t any better! I’ve had two injuries this season, and they were both from Slytherin matches so don’t tell me that it’s our fault that you can’t fly well enough to get away from a bludger!” The blonde retorted, stopping abruptly at the sound of heels clicking against the stone floor. 

“Ms. Wolfe! Ms. Campbell! Do stop bickering or I will have you both put into detention for disturbing the peace!” Madame Pomfrey called as she crossed the room and stood at the foot of Bernie’s bed, with a quiet, greasy-looking Slytherin close behind her. “This is Severus, he’s studying for his NEWTs but he’s planning to become a mddi-wizard when he graduates, so I thought he’d bring him along to observe this quick incantation, then we’ll have you on your way, Ms Wolfe.“ 

Serena narrowed her eyes at the sight of the boy; she didn’t know much about him beyond the fact that he was a Slytherin, and that he had a reputation for falling in with the wrong crowd, though she wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. Slytherins all had a reputation though she didn’t understand that either, maybe it was a result of being muggle-born but she was completely clueless to all of the prejudice in the wizarding world. 

“Episkey!” The medi-witch uttered matter-of-factly before turning to the dark-haired boy and receiving a silent nod before he scuttled off. 

The middle aged woman offered Serena some pain relief, which she rejected before excusing herself and saying she would remain in earshot. Lucinda said she was going to get back to the team and tell everyone that she was alright, heading out of the doors and leaving the two third-years alone in beds beside one another. 

“So, you won. Was it worth it?” The blonde asked bitterly, casting an unsavoury glance towards the other girl.

“Why is it my fault that I got hit by a bludger? It’s not like either of us were even on the pitch when the match finished.” Serena retorted as she reached for the pumpkin juice beside her bed and took a sip. 

“Exactly! We don’t have a substitute keeper anymore, so McKinnon had to take the goals and of course, Black had no trouble catching the snitch with one less beater to keep him occupied.” Bernie grumbled before shaking out her freshly healed arm and hissing at the still sore joints. “Admittedly, you were unconscious by this point. I can’t really blame you.” 

“No, you can’t.”

Inside her head, Bernie was hoping that this wouldn’t mean she couldn’t play the Ravenclaw match coming up the following week. Everything’s healed, she thought, but she couldn’t help worrying. 

“You made some good shots out there today, you fly well.” Bernie offered gently, trying to penetrate the awkward silence with kind words though she wasn’t sure how effective they would be. “We should fly together sometime, when neither of us are busy with practice.” 

“Um, I mean…sure.” The brunette was reluctant, she knew that there were inter-house friendships but between Gryffindors and Slytherins? No chance. “That’d be nice.”

Both of them were released before the day was out, but the hours spent waiting to be let go were spent talking as though they didn’t wear different badges on their robes. They organised to meet up the following Sunday morning when they knew none of the quidditch teams would be practicing, and talked about how they’d both been selected for the team. 

Bernie had started explaining that she used to play football - a muggle game that was a bit like quidditch…except without brooms, and using your feet and- but Serena interrupted her to explain that she knew what football was, that she was muggle-born. 

As they prepared to return to their separate dormitories, their hands met in a firm shake that lingered as a tender smile threatened Serena’s so traditionally placid expression.

“See you on Sunday?“

“See you on Sunday.“ Even as the words slipped from her mouth, Bernie slipped away and hurried off down the corridor towards the staircases. She moved at a quick pace as though she was chasing after life, and Serena couldn’t help but roll her eyes at just how much of a lion Bernie was.


End file.
